Novel & Cerita I Don't Feel Safe Anymore

“You are already staying; what do you mean?” “Trust me I was staying to get healed and planned to leave afterwards cause it became unsettling but I feel like I'm now part of your life, and Daniela seem to be the only friend I now have, and trusting is a little impossible too” I stopped to breathe; I was talking a little too far. His expression shifted, surprise flickering in his eyes. “Calm down,” he said. “Are you sure? After everything that’s happened” “I’m sure,” I interrupted. “I know it’s dangerous, and I know it’s not logical. But I don’t feel safe anywhere else. And I think… I think you don’t either; leaving will just make you worried about me.

“It felt so real.” Oakley nods. “Nightmares do.” Colton’s voice softens. “But it wasn’t real. Not tonight. Not here.” Samarah presses against me. He’s right. I wipe at my eyes, embarrassed. “I hate this.” Oakley gives a small, sad smile. “I know.” Colton shifts closer, but still doesn’t touch me. “You’re safe now.” The words hit something deep inside me. Safe. I haven’t felt safe in years.

Out of guilt. “I feel so safe with you” he added. That word feels like someone pressed ice against my skin. Safe. The one thing Daniel said I didn’t give him, the same word Daniel threw at me like a blade. “You don’t make me feel emotionally safe.” I swallow. Hard. My chest burns. We stay on the phone in the dark, just breathing into each other’s silence.Safe.

“Okay. But if anything else happens, you need to let me know. Right away.” “I will.” He leaned back in his chair. “How do you feel about being here?” I paused. “Different.” “In what way?” “Like… I want to be here. But at the same time, I feel like I shouldn’t be. Like it’s dangerous now.” “Do you feel unsafe with me?” “No. That’s the odd part. You’re the only place I do feel safe.” He nodded slightly. “Sometimes when we start healing, the world outside feels more threatening. We’re no longer numb to it. We’re waking up.”

"You made them feel safe." "I don't know if I can keep them safe." "You will."

“Leaving?” “For a few days,” I clarify. “Possibly longer.” “Ava—” “No,” I say again. “You don’t get to interrupt me anymore. Not after last night.” He swallows hard. “You’re not safe with me?” The question is quiet. Honest. Terrifying. “I’m not unsafe,” I reply. “But I don’t feel secure. And there’s a difference.” He drags a hand through his hair. “I would never do that again.”

I am shaking when I press the doorbell at It is already past midnight and I have circled the city twice before I came here. I could have gone to any of the hotels. Could have called Jared and apologized. Could have stayed at my condo. But no. I come here. To him. I am tired of the paranoia. The constant checking of my phone. The waking up in cold sweats. That damn call that still plays in my head, on repeat, Someone close to you is planning to ruin you. And I don’t know who. I don’t know what they have. And I hate it. I need to feel safe again.

It has been two weeks since I moved here. I have not heard from my father or brother since then. My anxiety is increasing by the day, and loneliness is killing me. I've stopped myself several times from contacting my family. I just want them to ensure my safety as soon as possible so I can return to my normal life. Since this morning, I have been feeling very strange. The anxiety in my stomach is making me feel like vomiting. My heart is restless. I have been trying to keep myself engaged and distracted, but I cannot shake off the feeling that something is about to happen. Something bad.

“Not right now. But I need you to know that you’re safe here. You’re safe with me. And I won’t let anyone hurt you again. Not while I’m around.” I didn’t know what to say to that. Part of me wanted to lean into him, to let go of the fear and the doubt and just let myself feel something. The other part of me was terrified, terrified that I would fall into something I couldn’t control, something that might break me all over again. I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply, trying to steady myself. “I’ve never been safe,” I whispered, almost to myself. “Not with him. Not with anyone.”

"I want to hear it.” My heart was racing and my mouth went dry suddenly. What I felt?! It seemed like such an easy question, but it was hard to answer. What I felt for him, was what I always felt for him. I felt--- “I feel safe with you,” I said, hoping that my voice didn't sound like a breathless whisper, as I confessed. I'd lost the feeling of safety a long time ago. I didn't feel safe anywhere, really. Not with my brother. Not even in my own home. I hadn’t felt appreciated or loved since my parents died and it was taking a toll on me. But with Levi, I didn’t feel like that. Even now, feeling exposed and stupid, he didn’t make me feel weak or insignificant. I felt happy and confident and,