Romans & histoires Why Do I Feel Unwanted

I worked hard, I practiced, I starved ,I prayed to God. Why am I always unwanted? Does God not consider me human too? Why?

Why start something only to stop, as if denying me was part of some cruel game? He shouldn’t have made me feel this way. He shouldn’t have started it at all. Ava huffed in my head, a sharp sound that made my chest tighten. I knew what that huff meant—I wasn’t being honest with myself. I wasn’t just frustrated; I was starving for him. My body wanted what my pride refused to admit. If I couldn’t have Rex’s touch, I was left restless, unsatisfied, like a fire burning without relief.

I barely managed a thank you and ducked out before I started bawling in front of everyone. Every night, once the whole castle slipped into that weird echoey hush, the bond yanked at me. Sharp, relentless, impossible to ignore. Dante’s incomplete rejection just twisted the blade. And Dominic? He wasn’t even there to haunt me; somehow, that made me feel better. I would lie in this absurdly big bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking. How can someone feel so strong and so thoroughly unwanted at the same time? Festival day exploded. Color everywhere, music, the works.

Maybe she knew I needed saving because I was falling. There is always a constant feeling of emptiness, there is always the feeling of being unwanted, unloved, uncared for when you are brought up in an orphanage. It's tough to grow up without a home, without the feeling of security and with the feeling of being unwanted in every way possible.

Couldn't he be a bit more considerate? Couldn't he think of her feeling as well? How did he think it feels to be mated to someone who keeps reminding you that they love someone else? How did he think it feels to come second to your twin sister in everything. How did he think it feels? To be unwanted... To be in pain... To be...

I said, arms folded. He smirked, sliding into the seat next to me. “Jealous?” I rolled my eyes and looked away. Lately, I’d been pulling back from all of them, Isaac, Aiden, Kian even Jax. Ever since Jax literally told me I was unwanted and I was destroying everyone it stuck and now, with my parents gone, I felt too alone. “Okay, look,” I began, sitting upright. “I have a theory. It’s crazy but I need you to hear me out.”

They streamed down my cheeks without warning. I tried to breathe — but it came in small gasps, my shoulders trembling. I covered my mouth with my hand, trying to muffle the sound. Pheonix held my hand tighter. I bent forward slightly, my forehead brushing against the window. And I cried. I cried for the girl who waited in silence. For the woman who wore red like armor. For the wife who was never seen — until she was walking away. And somewhere between one breath and the next —I finally let go of the weight I’d been dragging behind me. Not because I wanted to. But because I had to. For the last time, I cried for the part of me that was unwanted.

For not saying hello before saying what I said. "I am sorry," I said, and she nodded at me. "It's okay. Do you want to talk to them?" she asked, and I nodded. I didn't only want to talk to them, I wanted to see them. I wished I could be with them at the moment. There was an emptiness I felt where they occupied. They were not with me, and it felt all wrong. Having them move away made it worse because unless we solved this issue or made sure our territory was safe, it would be wrong to have them with me.

It almost seemed like he couldn't care less if I was still with Jack or not. Well, it's true and false at the same time. I'm still living with Jack, but we haven't had sex in days! It's like I can't turn him on anymore and I'm getting frustrated! There are two men and at least one of them has to want me! And yet, neither one of them is even bothering to touch me. I've never had this problem before. I feel... worthless and unattractive. That can't be right! I'm beautiful and desirable! I know I am! So what the hell is wrong with them?!

continued Rick, his eyes flashing, with the faintest bit of fear creeping into his voice. "Give me a break, men. I'm already worrying about how I'll tell this to Karen," I said, leaning against the booth, my brain weighed down with the problem. Karen was the only person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. But who cared if I was being forced to marry another? "Man, why can't you just introduce her to your parents?” Josh asked practically. "Do you actually expect that to happen? What do you think they'll do when I introduce her to them? They'll definitely separate us up," I snapped back, my tone acidic.