I Don't Feel Safe Anymore Novels & Stories

"Explain the problem." "I came out of five years inside, telling myself I was done with situations that could hurt me," I said. "Done with men who operated in the grey. Done with anything that had a risk I couldn't calculate upfront." I looked at the ceiling. "And here I am in a safe house after someone tried to run us off a road, feeling more settled than I have in years." "That bothers you." "It should bother me," I said. "It doesn't. That's what bothers me."

My darling Kristy, I’m worried. We haven’t passed notes like this in a while, not since school – well, there’s no need, not now we live together. But I can’t voice what I have to say aloud. I don’t know who might be listening. Ever since our beautiful Scarlett was born, I’ve felt like something bad is going to happen. Call it a parent’s paranoia, but I can’t shake the feeling that we’re being watched. Like our home is no longer safe. Like our days are numbered.

He said softly. “I don't feel she is safe here…” I told him what I was feeling. “Why do you feel like that,” He asked, cupping my face. “I don't know… I never felt unsafe like that in the last five-year as I am feeling now. Ask Serena to come here or take care of Jess or take her with her” I said. The mother inside me said my baby is in a danger. “Ok I will ask Serena, Now don't take stress” He kissed my forehead.

He’d always been theatrical like that—striking when it mattered most, when it would cut the deepest. A chill crawled down my spine. “Maybe a dinosaur or astronaut theme,” Mandi was saying. “He loves them, right?” “Yeah,” I murmured. “Are you okay?” I gave her a small smile. “Just tired.” The truth was, I wasn’t sure I’d ever feel safe again. Not while Kaz was still breathing, still lurking in the shadows. Not when every phone ring made my heart race. Not when I couldn’t even tell Mandi about the call I’d gotten earlier, because saying it out loud made it too real.

I didn't totally feel safe anymore and I was tempted to go on a long leave from work just to get myself together. Someone out there wanted to kill me? WHO COULD IT BE?

Like always. “Am I?” I couldn't help but ask and his calm expression turned to a frown. “I thought…I thought this place was untouchable, safe. Yet…I've been attacked and put in more…more danger than when I lived with my parents. Does that sound more…lucky to you?” “Nothing’s ever safe in the world. And you weren't the target.” “Then why?” “All I can tell you is to be careful of who you trust right now.” “Not even you guys.” “Especially us.”

“I feel like I’m being pushed out of safety and right back into the middle of whatever this mess is.” He exhaled through his nose. “I wouldn’t let you be out here if I thought it wasn’t safe enough. I swear.” I gave him a sideways look. “You mean that in a ‘safe-for-now’ kind of way, don’t you?” He didn’t answer right away. That was answer enough. He totally meant that in a safe for now kind of way. We were not safe anywhere. I stepped forward slowly, I hated that I’d become this person, jumpy, paranoid, scanning every corner like a ghost might leap out of the shadows.

I said. " I know, but it is no longer safe. Do you have any idea what the next thing is? Whoever this is is planning a lot, and that is not the end of his or her plans," he said. There was fear in his voice as he spoke. What made me so sad was that I no longer have my life back, I no longer see things the way they are, and I am now trying to be very careful about anything I do. This is going to be hard for me.

“You didn’t know I was spiraling. You didn’t know I was scared. You didn’t even know I was gone until someone else called you.” He looks stunned. Like he’s just realizing for the first time that he wasn’t paying attention. Bonnie sits down on the foot of my bed and takes my hand. Logan hasn’t moved. He’s watching me, not Julian. Watching the cracks in me widen, and letting them. Letting me be honest for once. “I don’t feel safe anymore,” I whisper. “Not in that house. Not with you. Not even with myself.” Julian’s mouth tightens. “I never meant for you to feel that way.”

I couldn’t focus, I couldn’t eat my lunch, and I couldn’t have fun with my friends like I’d intended. I kept looking over my shoulder every minute, searching for a warning sign, watching out for unexpected accidents. I couldn’t take my hand off my stomach; it felt as if I needed to keep my hand there to protect my child from anything she might be planning. I don’t feel as safe as I did when I left the house to hang out with my friends. As a matter of fact, I don’t think I will ever feel safe again.