I Don't Feel Safe Anymore Novels & Stories

"I helped her, called the doctor to come to us, which she did, that's when she told me everything. The reason we hadn't known was because they didn't want us to worry, said they know we have a lot on our plates right now, more important things so they worked harder to fill the empty spots. Basically they didn't want to be a burden when they know we are trying to deal with the rogues and hunters." "But they shouldn't, I hate that they felt that way, what can we do to change this for them? How can I make them feel safe again? UGH! I HATE THIS! This shit is ruining our home, our people live in a constant state of fear and I have no idea what to do to change this!"

But I didn't know it also existed in the human world. After that event, the urge to leave the environment has been more disturbing. I couldn't concentrate any more. Leaving my kids in Ella's care has not been making me comfortable. "You look too cold these days. What's the problem?" "I don't feel safe here again with my kids. I need to get an apartment as soon as possible" "Anna, I think the event that happened that day has overwhelmed your mindset. These kids are safe here" I shook my head, "You don't understand. I think someone is watching us and monitoring our moves"

Too empty. And I couldn’t shake the feeling that whatever had just happened wasn’t over, and that the sense of safety I’d been trying to rebuild was thinner than I wanted to admit. *****

I cooed. Actually, I have never felt so fucking useless in my entire life than these times when I should be there for her protecting her. Yet, here I am thousands of miles away from her and fucking busy with work. I turned to video call to which she was quick to respond, “Hey.” I greeted as soon as I see her all covered up with her blanket. “I want you to stay with me on the phone okay?” She nods, “I just don’t feel safe anywhere I go. It feels like Griffin is always watching me and it is almost driving me insane just thinking and worrying about it always.”

I pondered, damn it, my ears filtering away the sound of the drill gun. This flat is the same place where I have stayed for a long time. Throughout all of my time here, working at the office, I have never before felt unsafe. But last night, I remember waking up thrice to check if my windows and doors were still locked. It's crazy, right? My whole life seems insane and it feels like it's just one thing after another, with no end in sight. It's so damn annoying.

Her expression softened, concern settling into the lines of her face. "How are you? Really?" Her voice was lower now, careful. "I was surprised when you called me. And… aren’t you worried about being out like this? After everything?" Her eyes flicked toward the window, where Nitta stood by the car, arms crossed. Even with the dark sunglasses, I knew he was watching. Always watching. "The only place I feel unsafe is inside my own home," I whispered, my fingers tightening around my cup. "I can’t leave my room in the morning without feeling sick. It’s like something is crushing me every time I walk down that hallway. And being alone in that house…"

I hate the word running, I was not running for my life, well at least not anymore. “Sadie everything will be fine. You will stay in one of the most secure apartments in the city. You are surrounded by people who will protect you. We are setting you up with self-defense classes as well.” My uncle explains. I nod clutching the folder to my chest. It does not make me feel any safer though. I will never feel safe, I will always be looking over my shoulder, I’ll always be on guard, that won’t be changing any time soon. Being in a different city helps me sleep at night, but that doesn’t stop me from sleeping with a knife under my pillow. That doesn’t stop me from locking all the doors and windows

"I'm not safe with you!" Those words cut into him so much that I felt his pain, but I couldn't let him know that, so I went on. "I'm not safe with you because whenever I'm around you, I feel like I should know you, but I don't. I'm not safe around you because you mess with my head, and I don't know how you do it" I stopped for a second before looking down at the ground and whispering softly ", And when I'm around you, the feeling that I'm forgetting something goes away."

She questions me. I consider the question honestly. “Scary,” I admit. “But also… good. Like I chose this.” “That’s because you did,” she says, settling into her chair. “Tell me what made today feel possible.” I sit, adjusting the strap of Aiden’s carrier with one hand, grounding myself in the familiar weight. “I got tired of my world being so small,” I say. “Safe, but small.” She nods. “Safety and freedom are often in tension after trauma.”

But the moment I inhale, memories slam into me like a blow: His hand around my hair, his voice in my ear, the sound of a lock sliding into place. The feeling of being owned. My chest convulses, and my breath comes out in broken sobs Luxe grabs my trembling hands and presses them to her chest. “Feel that? My breathing. Match me, babe. Nice and slow. You’re safe. He’s not here. You’re safe.” Safe. The word feels foreign, like it belongs to someone else’s life. I've never been safe. From my Mom to Lucas and now Alberto. Safe isn't a word you'd associate with me.