I Don''t Want To Be Loved นิยาย & เรื่องราว

Harper fell silent for a long time before she finally answered. “I wouldn’t say I like him. I still love Jayden. It’s just that Eugene has been by my side for so many years. If I marry Jayden, he’ll be really hurt. It just makes him seem… kind of pitiful.” I did not know how I exited the building. By the time I came to my senses, I was already out on the street in a daze. My face was wet with tears. Never had I imagined Eugene to be the reason Harper did not want to get married.

"That I don't want to you go back to him not because I'm afraid it would ruin my plans, but because I just don't want you to! Because I'm selfish!" I felt the growing anticipation. I want to say I don't want to hope… but why do I feel like I already know where this is heading? "Don't you still get it, Eve? I like you! I'm in love with you! And I want to be selfish. I want you to choose me over him!" It was like a bomb.

Adrian responded painfully. “why can't you just leave me alone, can't you see, I don't want to be loved neither do I deserve it, I just want to die, Adrian, I just want to be parents you don't know what it feels like” “I do actually! I do know what it feels like!” He yelled causing the room to freeze with his pained words...

So if you think you can win me over or change my mind at your insistence, you're wasting your time. - Babi, your sincerity at the same time destroys my heart, makes it beat even harder for you. But I promise not to touch this subject again. Because I know that one day you'll forget about this idiot of yours... and move on with your life. After all, no one is happy alone. Everyone is looking for love. - I'm not looking for love... I run away from it. Love made me suffer a lot and it took me too long to heal. - Afraid.

Realizing that I could not win over him, I told him, "Okay..Will you give me your phone now ?? " "Ofcourse shaky..I will give you but before that you have to say I love you rakshith.." I got furious after hearing his words..Is he thinking I was a toy ??..I'm not a puppet to act like he says..Yes..I loved him and still loving him but I don't allow him to use me as he wish..I will not say that word to him because he don't deserve it..He don't deserve my love..He don't deserve my selfless love..I even went to work as a cleaner for him but in return he used me like an tissue paper and threw it away..I got more angry while remembering all his insult words..I shouted to him,

I never get what I want like any other person or especially Damien. He has parental love, siblings love, motherly love, father's love. But my parents only want me to love money and loneliness. Tears falls from my eyes. My phone starts to ring. I didn't bother looking at it, I just left the phone. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I am not mad at her for anything but I just feel so fucking unlucky right now.

I wanted it to be real. I wanted it the way I want warmth when rain starts falling, instinctive, desperate, almost embarrassing. I wanted a life where I could stand beside someone without flinching, where a smile wasn’t a risk, where affection didn’t come with a blade hidden behind it. I wanted to be loved. Not briefly. Not secretly. Not as some mistake someone would deny later. Properly. But wants don’t change what you are. And people like me don’t get happy endings. We get warnings. We get lessons. We get told to be grateful when we aren’t kicked.

I don't want marriage because of this. And I don't want to love or be loved. Love turned my mother into a cripple, love caused her nothing but pain and sorrow. I don't want it. I want something different, an entire fate from my parents, which is why I decided that I am never going to get married. "Jordan", mother called. Her voice was shaky and I looked up to see tears swelling up in her eyes. "I know why you don't want to be married." She declared.

I don't want to be used by two men. * * * * *

I was surprised that she let me stay with her when I called her a few weeks ago. We’re just not the mother and daughter we were before the incident. I guess there was no way to repair all of the damage she and my father caused. I meant what I told my mom on my sixteenth birthday. I will never fall in love. There’s no way that I would give someone else the kind of power John holds over my mother. Love is just an emotion used to control people. I want to be free and have the freedom to do whatever I want, whenever I want, without answering to anyone. A few of the guys I’ve met have never really held that much interest for me. Most of the guys I’ve met have been arrogant, selfish, and self-serv