I Don't Want To Live Novels & Stories

Hе nоddеd аgаіn. “Thаt’ѕ аll I want out of lіfе, Jіm, that’s аll I’ve еvеr rеаllу nееdеd. I dоn’t nееd a ріесе of рареr оr a rіng tо rеmіnd mе thаt I саrе fоr ѕоmеbоdу, and I dоn’t nееd a рѕусhіаtrіѕt tо tеll mе that I ѕhоuldn’t bе dереndеnt on ѕоmеоnе else іn order tо hаvе a life.

Can’t I? I don’t have any other options anymore, Oh God… If I can’t have him by my side, I’d rather die… It’s impossible I go on with my life with all these pain, misery, sadness, gloom, and nay darkness without Erito by my side. I’d rather die than see Erito together with that lucky boy whom he really likes and loves. I’d rather die… I don’t wanna live forever like this, with all these pain, misery and suffering. I don’t want it… I don’t want it...

It's not on the table. I have to do much more than just survive, I have to live. Too many people already gave up their lives for this! And I have no intention to give up without a fight.

I hate my parents. I hate I was even born. I just want to disappear. I don't see my worth. I don't see any reason to live. Why did God bring me either on this earth? I shouldn't be here. I don't deserve any of this. I'm not grateful, so He should take away my life. I'm not happy. I'm miserable. I'm lost. My tears stream all over my face as I gulp my drink. I puff my cigarette and have even finished two packs already.

“Taking their life is mercy. I’m not feeling very merciful after everything.” “What I want is not their life. They live a useless, hollow, sad life already. That’s not worth taking.” I paused. “I want them to relive what happened to me. I want them to live my nightmare. They could regret it, or they might not. That’s not what I’m after.”

"What did you say. I do not understand." "You don't need to understand me. All you need to do is listen to me. Okay?" "You also don't want me to live in torment and despair for the rest of my life, right?" "Right?"

This cannot be my life… This… I feel so sleepy now… Perhaps I should just die in this so-called sleep… I wish I have been overdosed by Leah and I die… There is nothing to leave for…

I was not convinced that I could hate life any more than what I did, but it has proven wrong. I want to avoid being bothered, so I decide to just wait until all the noise clears. I do not want to talk to anyone, I make a promise to myself not to allow myself to love or care about anything ever again. I'm tired of feeling nothing but pain, it's time to just simply feel nothing. I'm not sure If I can do it, but I'm sure as hell going to try. I wait until it is quiet. I truly do not want to be bothered or seen by anyone. I wish I could just pretend to sleep forever.

Dammit, just the last dose. And this is the reason I never have money for myself. I have to buy these stupid pills that are so expensive or else I won't be able to live. Maybe I should just die. No one knows me, no one cares, no one will cry, no one will even notice. My body will probably be found decayed by the landlord who comes to ask for overdue rent. I sigh heavily. Is this life really worth living? No, bad thoughts are not needed. I need to stay alive for all the people I was created to touch their lives. It will get better.

I don’t want to finish this even if it costs my life, I can’t. Is he merciless? Yes, and this is why I wanted to terminate the contract. I can’t live with a guy like him. If only I could turn back time, I would not experience this, getting hurt every day. Is there any way to disappear aside from ending my life? I still wanted to be happy, so I couldn’t just end my life because of him.