I Don't Want To Live 소설 & 이야기

I exclaimed. “I did say that.” Jace shook his head sadly. “But I don’t know anymore. There is no purpose in my life. There has never been. I always… lived a life that was curved for me. I don’t want that anymore. I want to… do something. Something on my own. Something that I will choose for myself. I don’t want to regret anything on my dead bed.” “What do you want to do?” I asked.

But it was quickly followed by a sense of sadness and loss. I don't think I'm cut out for all of this. I'm done. I just want to live and put all of this behind me.

"I want to leave." Silence again. He doesn't interrupt. "I do not want this life anymore," I say, my voice is quieter now. It is still firm. I do not want you to make decisions for me. I do not want your protection. I do not want your idea of what I need. My breath is steady. It is like I am talking from somewhere above myself not from inside my chest. "I want distance," I say and I feel that it is final. The words are just hanging there. They are heavy.

he asked. "I don't know," I admitted. "But I know I'm tired of letting other people's opinions dictate my choices. I'm tired of defending us constantly. I'm tired of performing recovery for an audience." "What do you want instead?" he asked. "I want to just live," I said. "I want to have a relationship that's private and complicated and ours. I want to stop caring about what the article said or what strangers think or whether some people believe I'm making a mistake."

Not wanting anything. "I'm not going to ask you how you feel, but how would you like to feel?" Because now it's all black and dark, but then you'll be the same girl as before. I am very sorry that you have to go through all this sad situation, but you are strong, you will be able to overcome it. “I want to die, that's what I want, I want to feel good and I know that I'm not going to get it that way” "No, don't say that, please. You have a lot of people around you who love you, so you shouldn't throw in the towel and give up or think that life doesn't make sense anymore, because it doesn't.

No. No—I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to be strong. I didn’t want to survive anymore. What was the point of surviving if all I ever did was bleed and scream and cry? I didn’t want to be alive if this was what life meant. The pain was never going to end… I could feel it deep in my bones. It would just go on forever until there was nothing left of me. Until my body finally gives in, and I don't wake up again.

I wail, try to grab the mud, try to hold myself… But I have turned into nothing. I turn to the Goddess, crawl towards her, and beg, scream, cry. “ I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die. Let me live. Let me live. Just for some days. Just for some hours. Minutes. Let me live. I don’t want to die. ” That’s what I wanted to tell Dustin. I just…want to live a little. But it’s my fate to die just when I begin wanting to live. And I am not favored by any God. People like me…succumb to fate even when they go screaming, and kicking, and breaking.

I began, and he tried to interrupt me, but I stopped him. " You have my support. If they do not attack, do not move in on them. Let us cut our losses and move on with our lives. I am happy to be alive and have both of you and our children. I will love to have Mason's babies too. I no longer want to deal with pack matters. Please," I said and touched his hands. I looked into his eyes so he could see my soul. " I don't want to lose you or Mason. Please let us live away from all of this chaos and make memories with our children. Please, Marcus, we do not always have to be in charge. We can't always solve the problems of our community, please," I pleaded with him.

"Don't you feel the same?" "I do. But I won't wish something like that, because I want you to live a life of your own. Not a life for others, not a life because someone is waiting for you." pagtutuloy ko. "I want a life for you, where you can always look forward to. Where you can live without worrying anyone."

Tomorrow is Monday again and I have no idea for how long I can take this kind of life. I can not change anything, and at this point, I do not want to.