I Know I'll Be A Okay Novels & Stories

“Just trust me. We’re going to be okay.” She studies me, eyes sharp with questions, but nods. I don’t know how yet… But I will find a way. This time, I won’t lose everything.

“Are you alright?” I nodded too fast. “I’m fine. I’m fine.” “You’re not,” he said, voice low and steady, like he didn’t want to trigger anything in me. “I know you hate places like this. But it’s going to be okay, I promise. Just a little longer and we’ll be out.”

‘’I would be coming home soon , I understand you Mari, when I get home you will come stay with me, its going to be okay’’ It’s going to be okay’’ is what I kept hearing till darkness embraced me.

I tell him. This is not a small thing to say. I am aware of that. I have not said it before, not even to myself, not even in the approximate version of it that sounds like I am managing or I am getting through it. This is different. This is: I think I might be okay. Present tense. Not performance. The succulent appears to consider this. It appears to believe me.

"Practice being happy. Let yourself trust that good things can last." "That's hard," I admitted. "I know," he said. "But you're brave enough to try.”

Kelly practically jumps on me before asking, "Mom, are you O.K. now?" I stare into her scared eyes and realize that this has been harder for them, then it has been for myself. Hugging them both again, I pat the couch next to me and they sit down. Feeling the need to explain to them, that I am going to be O.K., I reply, "Guys, I will be absolutely fine in a couple of days. Right now, I am just a little off, other than that, everything is the same. So, tell me did you two get your homework done?"

" Bailey, are you okay?" "I, I. Yes." I muttered incoherently, willing my mind the power to make correct sentences again. " Yes , I'm fine. I just zoned out a little bit." "Are you sure?" This was weird. Noah being nice to me was weird but not to him apparently. Over time, he'd become more accommodating towards me and it felt nice but no matter how nice and sweet it all felt, I still couldn't shake out the impending doom that lay in front of me. " You can tell me anything."

I wanted to say something smart, something funny, something that didn’t scream oh my God yes please ruin me. But all that came out was a shaky, “Okay.”

"Then why are you acting like you are going to be okay?" "Because I am going to be okay." "You do not know that." "Yes I do."

“Look at the brighter side of things.” It’s hard for now, but maybe once I process it all and accept it, I’ll finally be able to smile and appreciate it. We talk a little more after that, the conversation drifting between serious and light without really settling on either. It helps, in a way. Keeps me from drowning too deep in my own head. After a while, she glances at me again. “You’ll be okay?” I nod slowly. “Yeah. I’ll catch a cab when I’m done.”