Novel & Cerita If Only I Had Told Her

What I wanted to tell her and what I actually said were not the same thing. I gave her the surface — the building, the people, Noah. I said his name carefully, as it might still be listening. I told her about the room. The restraint. The needle. I didn’t tell her how long I’d known something was wrong before tonight. I didn’t tell her how many chances I’d had to stop it earlier and chose not to because I needed one more piece, one more confirmation, one more layer of certainty. I didn’t tell her that someone else had already paid for that kind of patience.

"If I had known… if I had known it would cost her life…" Her shoulders shook as she cried. "I would have never told her what I found."

She’s just doesn’t know it yet. Tomorrow I was going to tell her. And she was going to say “okay” in the decision voice. And we can pull that thread together.

She was also the only daughter and only child to her parents who were divorced and currently hated each other. I had sent Shedrack a text telling him I was sick and wouldn't make it in time. I felt a bit guilty for lying but I knew I couldn't tell him, it was the most firm warning she had given me when I agreed to this. By the time the evening fell around us, I had a paper of a well-written speech that could possibly change my life for the better or for worse, depending on how it was received. It was a risk I was willing to take because if I was being honest, I wasn't exactly making any moves right now that would make my life just a bit better.

“What are you talking about?” “That’s really all I can tell you. I don’t even know how I knew. You told me we had to win, and it just clicked, like the knowledge of what we could do had been there all along.” She supplied, unhelpfully. “Oh, this is not good! This is so not good!” I shot back. “I don’t understand,” she pouted. “We won. How is that bad?”

She can't say anything and rolls her eyes down as if she's trying to recall. "Nothing more" "Nothing more?" I scoff. "Does he only recall that one thing which you might have told your friends or your sister, even to me" Her eyes widen in shock. "Huh? Just the random thing about the promise. Was that all about the night? Before she can utter anything, I lean closer to her, "you were right that night, Iv. Your mom had sent me to you to tell you how precious you are"

She said softly . " We were friends . And I had a lot of fun with you . " I admit and restrain my voice from cracking as a lump forms in my throat . Was I overthinking this ? I don't want to make any sudden decisions or judge too harshly but .. She could have told me . I would have understood and .. I would have kept her secret . I may have freaked out in the beginning and demanded to see my mother but who wouldn't have ? Eventually I would have calmed down and understood the situation but she didn't give me a chance to .

I regretted telling her this, she began to rant and abuse me. "Do you know that you are the worst person I've ever met on earth? I wished I didn't come across such a scammer like you!" Her sudden explosion upon passing the information to her surprised me, I stood there shocked and flabbergasted. I didn't know what to do at the moment, then when I found the strength to talk, I sought to let her know I had no role in this.

Jack was so easy to talk to, so easy to get lost into, to forget everything else but him. Later that night, when she was getting ready for bed, she heard her phone ping for a message. "You shouldn't have told him. Now you both will pay!"

If only she knew the type of a person he was. If only she could turn back the hands of time, she would. If only wishes were horses but it was never going to happen. She was stuck with him forever and she had absolutely no one to blame, but herself. No one else. Momentarily, she shut her eyes and when she reopened them, she spoke with a clear and unaffected voice. "I was on phone with my friend, Khadijah." She responded, tersely. She fathomed there was no point in being verbose with him - He was not worth it and moreover, it was useless.