Intellectual Jokes Novels & Stories

HOW COME YOU ARE SO DUMB? Will_the_devil REASON NUMBER 1: I WAS BROUGHT UP IN A PALACE. REASON NUMBER 2: I NEVER CAME IN CONACT WITH ANY OTHER KID FROM OUTSIDE OF THE PALACE. REASON NUMBER 3: I NEVER HAD FRIENDS AND NEVER FELT THE NEED TO LEARN THIS GEN Z VOCABULARY. I_pooped :000 THAT'S KINDA SAD, YOU KNOW. Will_the_devil ... I_pooped

If retail therapy wasn’t on the table, I’d take verbal annihilation any day. You see, I’ve mastered the art of throwing bullies off their game. Random jokes, historical references, lines from Shakespeare or sitcoms – whatever makes them pause long enough to question if they’re being insulted. And when the fog of confusion lifts, reality hits. They start to question themselves whether they are stupid. And as we all know they are, it's a lovely moment for self-reflection. I slowly pointed to Tom. “Ah. So you must be Dumb...” Then I pointed to his acne-splotched sidekick. “...and Dumber then.”

“Jokes have owners, Grace! Do not try to crack one if you know you will do something contrary to what a joker can, and that is to pull a smile or erupt outbursts of laughter from people. That back there was not a joke at all, Grace!” I say that because if she was joining, that was a terrible one. She should know that she stinks at it.

her friend adds, all of them cracking up like it's a clever new joke. Like they haven't made the same jokes; every single day. The same taunts, the same laughs. You'd think they could come up with something more original after all these years. I guess sharing the dozen brain cells between the group doesn't leave much room for creativity. I scoff, ignoring them.

"What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine." "Please stop," Ashlyn laughed, covering her face with her hands. "Your jokes are getting worse." "My jokes are berry good, thank you very much." He grinned, clearly proud of himself. "Get it? Berry?" "I'm filing for divorce." "No, you're not. You love my dad jokes." "I tolerate them at best." Richard leaned forward, still holding the strawberry. "What do you call a fake noodle?" "Don't—" "An impasta!" Despite herself, Ashlyn burst out laughing. "That's it. I'm leaving."

I raised a finger to my lips, “Shh, listen carefully. Now that we’ve established that, let’s move on.” “Hey,” Amy interjected, her eyes dancing with amusement. “I did not agree.” “Do you disagree?” I challenged her, earning a shake of her head. “Well then, moving on. Next up, intelligence. With an IQ of 153, I’m not claiming to be a genius, but I did just G****e the meaning of it... and it told me to ask your girlfriend!” Amy burst into laughter, her mirth contagious. “And your girlfriend agrees.”

“How funny, you seek academics when you lack a clever retort.” I bit my lips gulping my laugh down and took a long, long, deep breath to calm myself. “IQ 132 knows nothing.” I taunted and she parted her lips to battle. “Fifty-six.” She yelled in excitement. “Too late.” “Don’t cheat.” “Oh, I am?” “Yes, you are.”

“Hey there, I’m Marcel. Do you always look this uncomfortable at parties, or is it just tonight?” I couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m Sarah. And yeah, I guess clubs aren’t really my thing.” “Well, Sarah, you look like you could use a good time. How about a joke to lighten the mood?” I raised an eyebrow. “Alright, hit me.” Marcel leaned in a bit. “Why don’t scientists trust atoms?” I shrugged, smiling. “Why?” “Because they make up everything.” I laughed, genuinely amused. “That’s actually pretty good.”

the man nodded. “Alright,” said the facilitator. “Let’s rotate. Jokes, riddles, weird facts. Come on, unleash your inner campfire gremlin.” Katherine nudged Kingsley. “You better say something.” He looked at her with mock offense. “Is that a challenge?” “I’m saying you’ve been making bad jokes since 2009. Now’s your time to shine.” He raised a hand. “Alright. What did the zero say to the eight?” The group leaned in.

It came out short and disbelieving, the kind of laugh a man gives when someone’s insulted his intelligence instead of amused him. “That’s good.” He shook his head, still laughing under his breath. “That’s genuinely good. Did my grandmother’s people teach you that one, or did you come up with it yourself?” “I’m not lying to you.” “Of course you’re not.” He leaned back, arms crossed, something cold settling behind his eyes now that the laugh had faded. “You’re the third woman this year to try that particular story on me. One of them even had a name badge to match, if you can believe that. Very convincing prop.”