Jake Webber Funny Novels & Stories

She just raised an eyebrow, a silent acknowledgment of the truth. Levi’s attention returned to the roach. He licked his chapped lips. “You got any more of that?” Jake let out a short, sharp, incredulous bark of laughter. It was a sound devoid of any real humor. “Are you kidding me? You just almost became a Happy Meal for a dozen walkers, and your first thought is to ask for weed?”

"How many times have you told this shit-for-brains that you're taken...and gay?" "Fifteen times, at least." "You're still flirting with her? You're more pathetic than Jake, and that's saying something, he's the biggest bitch there is and you make him look like a WWE wrestler," Jack said, we make fun of each other every once in a while so I knew it was a joke.

I poured my heart out to Jake, recounting the story of my tumultuous marriage in agonizing detail, hoping that he could offer some words of wisdom to guide me through the darkness. But instead of sympathy, all I received was laughter – harsh, mocking laughter that cut through me like a knife. Jake laughed at my pain, finding amusement in my misery as if it were some kind of sick joke. "Why are you laughing?" I demanded, my voice slurred with intoxication. "This isn't funny, Jake. I'm struggling here." But Jake just laughed harder, doubling over with mirth as tears streamed down my face. "You don't see it, do you?" he chuckled, wiping away tears of laughter from his eyes. "You're a joke, Sean

he smirked, the edge returning to his voice. "Right," Jake deadpanned behind his screens. "So now when your fiancée phones, we all play dumb like we just heard you flip to 'soft-mode Damian'?" The room burst out in laughter once again. "'Hey babe,'" Jackson parodied in a sickly falsetto. "'How was your day, babe?'" "Y'all want KP duty for a month?" Damian threatened, squinting but not making the effort to hide the grinning smirk spreading across his face.

"Somewhere out there is a tree, tirelessly producing oxygen so you can breathe. I think you owe it an apology." "Why don't you slip into something comfortable, like a coma." "Shock me, say something intelligent." "You are so fat when you wear a yellow coat, people scream 'taxi'" "Why don't you shut up and give that hole in your face a chance to heal." "You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back!" "Fine! I quit, you win. Anyhow, we are going for some ice cream." Jake, at last, commits to his failure.

Rae replied. "Whatever you want to do." Jake agreed. "What would you like to watch?" Raeanne asked. "I don't care, you pick." Jake replied. "Twilight?" Rae laughed. Jake groaned. "Hey I just realized. I'm real life team Jacob. haha" Rae laughed. "That's not funny." Jake muttered. "Yeah it was. Madea?" She asked. "Yeah love me some Madea. Which one?" Jake asked. "You pick. They are all hilarious. Oh I know, Christmas one. Larry the cable guy is hilarious too!" She grinned.

The table was easy the way beach vacation tables are, salt air and sunburn making everyone slightly more relaxed, slightly less armored, the day's tiredness filing the sharp edges off. Jake was in a good mood. Jake, in a good mood, was loud and physical and quick, jumping between topics, mimicking accents, landing punchlines with the confidence of someone who'd been the funniest person in most rooms he'd walked into. Emma generally found him harmless. Tonight, he was in good form.

"Damn." I stare at him, blushing madly because what he just said is the weirdest fantasy ever. I don't want to be Winnie the Amazonian! Jake must notice my growing discomfort because he laughs a loud rumbling laugh. "I'm just messing with you," his lips won't stop twitching. "And it was way easier than I thought it would be." I'm stunned by Jake's laughter. He looks youthful and about a hundred times more attractive when he isn't wearing his usual emotionless, resting asshole face. This is so much better.

Jason was laughing dryly as he said that. “It's age coming, my friend,” Jake said on the other end of the line. “You can no longer demand that your body remain as it was in your 20s.” He was giggling derisively. “Ugh. Sorry, Nancy, but Jake, go to hell!” My husband gasped, reacting to his longtime friend's jokes. “What's wrong with you, Davies?” Jake Gardner swept. “Can you respect ladies, you stupid billionaire?”

I said and he smiled at me like I was a unlearned maiden. “Because I brushed your hair from your face? You must be crazy” he said and I smiled. He certainly knew how to ruin a good moment. “Must you ruin the moment?” I asked and he shrugged and grinned. “Yes” he answered smugly and I grinned. For some reason, I find Jake more funny than John, John was usually always cheerful and liked to cheer me up but Jake was funny without even trying. His cynicism and his dark attitude seemed to draw me in to get to understand his layers and the walls he built around himself.