Jokes Quotations Novels & Stories

She responded. Vivian and her friends laughed heartily at the funniest joke they just heard. “How do you manage to construct the sentence? Having yourself and confidence in the same sentence. Doesn't it sound lame to you?” She asked as she laughed again. “To a fool like you, it will sound lame. I can picture how it feels to be born by a whore and having an IQ close to nothing. I feel for you, but it's a pity I can't relate. After all, I never experienced what it means to have multiple men claim ownership of me.” She said with a smirk and her words successfully shut Vivian up.

I teased. "Of course I did, I'd fall for you any day," he replied seriously. The quack?! "Stop messing around, come on, hit me with another joke." He said and chuckled as he pulled me closer to him, "Hm.. Okay, this one. Knock knock!" I can already laugh at my own joke. Pfft! "Who's there?" He replied, "Hatch." Haha! I'm so hilarious, I'm a prodigy comedian! Haha!

I picked up the bottle of soda. "You seem like you want to burn a hole through her ass," he quipped. I had taken a sip when I spat the liquid as a high pitched laughter escaped my lips. I quickly picked up the napkins and dabbed my lips. I looked up and saw Quinn shake his head with an amused smile. "You're really something," he said. "You're one to talk," I retorted.

I said to him. “Is that all you have to say?” He shot me a nasty glare. “Yeah… Unless you want some quotes added to it. Leave me alone thou son of Jezebel for I do not have thy time” My lame attempt at a joke seemed to calm him down a bit. “Dude this isn’t funny” He growled. “Hahahaha…what is the color of my teeth?” “Excuse me?” “Exactly my point. Since you didn’t see me shining my teeth, that is to tell you that I wasn’t laughing” I stared at him.

A message bubble lit up under his name, cheerful and oblivious. Just another one of his dry, stupid jokes—something about his dinner being so terrible he was convinced the restaurant was trying to assassinate him with undercooked chicken. He'd probably attached one of those ridiculous GIFs he was always finding, something animated and silly that was meant to make me laugh.

Jajajaja I_pooped ... 'Sksksksks' and 'jajajaja' is laughing? Will_the_devil Fr fr I_pooped Willy, stop! Quinn_beach I have tea I_pooped ... Not you too. Quinn_beach No, but fr, I have boiling hot spicy tea. Will_the_devil Spill it, sis I_pooped Oh my God, stop with those references or a girl is going to die here. Quinn_beach So, you guys remember Charlie, the man beach?

"Oh please, like you even know what it takes to be a boss. You probably couldn't even handle a basic Excel spreadsheet." "Coming from someone who probably thinks a PowerPoint presentation is their biggest accomplishment." Adrienne's eyes narrowed, her smirk turning into a devious smile. "You know what they say about assumptions, right? They make an ass out of 'u' and 'mptions.' Trust me, you're an expert at that." Linc raised an eyebrow, his expression unyielding. "Says the queen of cliché quotes. You should consider a career in motivational posters." Adrienne feigned surprise, her voice laced with sarcasm.

Sure enough, it didn't take long before the Internet exploded. Uncle Leonard scrolled through the comments, his face growing darker by the minute. "The comments are flooding in, and almost all of them are criticizing you." He read out the most-liked comments, "This is what today's youth are like—they don't know how to cherish opportunities! "He's wasting educational resources! He should be stripped of the top-scorer title! "I bet he's trying to be an Internet celebrity. How disgusting! "A person like him doesn't deserve the title of top scorer. Apologize to all the other examinees!

“Why would I change when you’ll never stop trying to earn a joke from every situation?” “Isn’t life more fun with jokes? Something to laugh about once in a while. You know, it makes the world beautiful and fun when it’s dark. Studies even say laughter heals faster than herbs do. Lowers pain, strengthens the heart, clears the head. Makes the blood flow freer. In short — that’s why I’m looking younger and living longer. Which of those old people in the pack is as old as me, uh? None. I’m the oldest.”

“Jesse, my man, which is why I’m encouraging you to talk some more! It doesn’t have to be about anything life changing. If you were me I’d say crack a joke but I don’t know if you even know any jokes.” “I know jokes.” His face lit up. “Oh yes? Tell me one then.” “Can you guess what the therapist said when I told my therapist I’m scared of dying alone? “Uh, no what?” “He said, “Most people don’t die with the company,” I said, chuckling. “Get it?” Rain looked at Matt. “Matt, am I supposed to laugh at that?” “Ideally someone is supposed to laugh when they tell a joke,” Matt said with a sigh. “Jesse, what have I told you about your morbid jokes?”