Left Them, Loved Myself Novels & Stories

And you, you still believe that you are the problem. I murmur: — But I love him. — You can love someone without destroying yourself. You can love someone… and leave. You can love someone… and choose to love yourself more. I collapse onto the couch. I sob, finally. For real. For everything I’ve held back. For every empty night. For every averted gaze. For every hope that has withered silently. — You know, she continues, your father and I went through difficult times. But I never had to convince myself that he was still there. I never had to beg for a presence, for a listening ear, for a glance.

When he saw me through the glass, his whole body jolted forward, pressing against the window with a feverish desperation. "Alyssa! You came to see me! I knew it! I knew you couldn't forget me! Please, please, get me out of here. Everything I did—I did it because I love you!" I smiled. "Is that so? The only person you've ever loved is yourself." His expression faltered, a little boy lost in a storm he started but couldn't navigate. "What do you mean?" I rubbed my forehead, tired of playing the audience to his endless theater.

I couldn't change their tragic fates no matter how hard I tried because I was too weak and helpless. I let go after trying and failing to take my own life several times. I didn't let go of Zack. Instead, I let go of myself. Perhaps fate had written our endings a long time ago, so there was nothing I could do even if I stubbornly held on. As a result, I no longer troubled myself with thoughts of what was right or wrong. I just wanted to see the Sacred Crystal Lake with my own eyes before my life ended, and the sea of irises that were considered sacred.

"I will always love you. And I'm sorry. For everything. For not being what you needed. For failing you. For losing you because I couldn't see you properly. Couldn't treat you right. Couldn't be your equal when you deserved nothing less." "I love you too." The admission hurts. "That's why this is so hard. Why leaving is destroying me. Why I'd rather stay even though it would kill me. Because loving you is the easiest thing I've ever done. It's respecting myself that's hard. Choosing myself that's impossible. Leaving that's agony." "Then don't leave. Stay. Let me try again. Let me do better. Let me—"

Inside, her handwriting curved delicately across the page. I came back because I was lonely, not because I was ready. And you let me stay because you were guilty, not because you were in love. We built a home out of memory and called it redemption. But I see now we were just keeping each other company in the ruins of who we used to be. I’m leaving for good this time. Not because I hate you, but because I finally love myself enough to stop coming back. Tell her if she ever asks that I understand now.

None of it changed the fact that I was here. That I was loved. That I was finally starting to love myself, even on the days it felt impossible. Let them worry about surface. I was busy living.

The truth burned in my chest like acid—everyone I loved had chosen her. Maybe it was time I chose myself. Maybe it was time to leave.

Because the person I left her for… needed me more. That’s what I told myself to sleep at night. Only, I don’t sleep anymore. ____ A. Gupta

Trust me I love my family, I really do but I kinda like my alone time. my phone pinged. Mindlessly reaching for my phone I mistakenly knocked it on the ground.. "Arrgh my baby," I fake cried and gently picked it up from where it lay and examined it for any cracks, when I was sure there was none, I cuddled it and whispered some nonsense to it. "My love am really sorry, I won't hurt you deliberately you know right?" Ha! don't look at me like that, if someone else was here I would care but hey am alone, so I could dance naked for all I care.

The cold version I could outlast This version had nothing left for me to work with. I reached for him He stepped back. The movement was small.... just a single step, but it took something with it that didn't come back. "You said you loved me," I said He was quiet for a moment And then, very quietly: "I did." Two words They broke something I hadn't known was still intact. He had loved me. And I had destroyed it. He went outside Picked up the nearest suitcase. Carried it to the pavement