Left Them, Loved Myself Novels & Stories

I didn't know then that I should have just stayed on my own. Because the same Jay who said "I love you"… Was the same Jay who would leave a scar on my life. And almost cost me everything.

“Y-yeah.” “Okay. What about him?” I tried to speak, but my emotions welled up hard and hot in my throat again. “I’m in love with him.” Silence. Not judgment, just stunned stillness. I decided to keep going, I couldn't stop now. “I’m in love with him and he—he left. He left because I couldn’t even admit it. Not even to you.” My voice shook violently. “I was ashamed. I hated myself for it, and I still... I don't want you to look at me and think—think something is wrong with me.”

The darkness closed in, and I was gone, leaving behind the only family I'd ever known, leaving behind the man I loved, leaving behind a part of myself. I whispered into the wind and hoped that he would hear me “I love you, Darius”

It wouldn't be easy. But for once, I am ready to do the work to change. And maybe, just maybe, someday I would look back on this moment and realize it was the best decision I ever made. Not for Emily. But for myself. Because that's what real love was. Loving yourself enough to walk away from the things that were destroying you. Even if those things looked like love at the time. The plane soared higher, carrying me away from my past and toward an uncertain but hopeful future.

I couldn’t bring myself to walk away from my family. But now that they’ve chosen to walk away from me—What did my loyalty ever mean? So now, I choose myself, and I’m leaving behind everything that was never really mine to begin with.

The comments I posted were instantly drowned out by the furious online discussions of strangers. My eyes gradually blurred as I stared at the phone screen. The words became unreadable to me. Inside my mind, however, a clear and resolute voice sounded. "Go die. No one here stands with you. Your fiance has abandoned you, too. After you die, you can reunite with your mom and dad." I slowly stood up and touched the photo of our once-happy family of three. After a long pause, I made a painful decision. I tore off the protective cover of the frame. Then, without a moment's hesitation, I used the sharp corner of the frame to slash my own wrist.

Everyone talked freely, and the mood was lively. As I looked around at the smiling faces, I felt a sense of relief and freedom I'd never known before. For the first time since I was ten, I laughed without any defenses. Even in those years I was in love with Morgan, I'd never been this joyful. Back then, I was always anxious. I was convinced his love was too surreal to be true. Now, I'd finally found myself. I'd finally understood that love had to be self-sustaining. I couldn't keep begging for it from others.

The berries had begun to wilt. Something inside me shifted then, not quite breaking, but cracking open. I had spent five years loving a man who saw me as an obligation. Five years building a life around someone who never truly let me in. I wasn’t ready to walk away yet. Not tonight. But for the first time, I allowed myself to imagine it. A life where I wasn’t invisible. Where my worth wasn’t tied to a man who couldn’t or wouldn’t love me back. I left the plate where it was and went upstairs alone.

“It isn’t.” We sat there for a moment. The woman behind the counter was restacking cups. Someone came in and ordered coffee and left. “I didn’t leave because I stopped loving you,” I said. It was the first time I had said it out loud to anyone. “I left because I didn’t know how to be both things at once. Yours and my father’s daughter. I couldn’t hold both and I made a choice and I have been paying for it every day since.” He was quiet for a long time.

I knew they both needed me, but the problem was, did either of them want me for who I was, or was it because I had expired and wanted me for that purpose alone? The answer to my question doesn't matter now. I'll be leaving in a week. I needed to put myself first this time and think about my safety before anything else. I wasn't going to throw away another chance at life, especially a better one with no restrictions. I made up my mind to leave the two of them behind. It would be best for the three of us. Maybe one day, we will all find someone new to love and cherish once more, or maybe we will all give up on love. I knew it existed. Klaus and Tiffany had it going for them. I knew my parents