Forbidden Collection
“Wanted: Average-looking guy, recently dumped, decent dick, no acting experience required. Must be willing to fuck Destiny Mira’s ‘Heartbroken Elf’ in Christmas parody. Serious inquiries only.”
I laughed so hard I almost puked. Then, because I was drunk and miserable and had literally nothing to lose, I replied with the most unhinged DM I’ve ever written:
“Girlfriend just left me for a CrossFit coach named Chad. I cry during sex and still live with my mom. But I have an 8-inch cock and I’ve jerked off to Destiny Mira so many times I can recite her moans by heart. Pick me.”
I attached two dick pics (one hard, one soft for comparison) and a selfie of me crying in my childhood bedroom with a pi