Morning Funny Quotes

A post asked: "What did it feel like to marry someone you didn’t love?" My husband answered, "No fun in bed at all. Every day, I think about divorce." Owen Clinton’s first love, Luna Dawson, had returned to town, and sparks had reignited between them in secret. Luna, with smug confidence, had urged me to step aside. But I only laughed as I tossed the divorce papers at her. "If you were so capable, you’d get him to sign them. Otherwise, I won't even take you seriously.”

When I submit my resignation letter, my boyfriend, Daniel Carter, happens to have an arm around the new intern, Kimberley Lester, while teaching her how to secure a deal that's worth ten million dollars. After he's done with his lesson, he finally spares my resignation letter a glance. "What are you on about this time, my dearest sales champion?" I reply calmly, "I've already transferred all details of the company's clientele to others. I don't want any bonuses and commissions of this quarter. In fact, I've already had the finance department recall the funds and list it as the company's funds." Daniel is stunned for a moment. But he still thinks that I'm trying to gain his attention by sacrificing my own benefits. "You don't want money, huh? Then what do you want? You want me to fire Kimmy? Or you want me to give you some of the company's shares?" He passes a cup of coffee to me, thinking that I'll act the same way I did in the past—that I'll endure everything and keep working my ass off for the sake of my sales team. But I just shake my head. Now, I just want Daniel to watch his company fall into bankruptcy.

The night before the marking ceremony, Joanna Grant kills my father by running him down with her car. At the same time, my fiance, Samuel West, breaks the pack's betrothal agreement and asks to end our engagement. The next day, Samuel and Joanna show up at the marking ceremony that was meant for me. With the entire pack as their witnesses, they pray to the Moon Goddess for her blessing. Just then, I arrive at the ceremony with the surveillance footage from the crash, demanding that Joanna pay with her life for what she's done to my father. Joanna is arrested by the Alliance guards, yet I am exiled from the pack and cast out as a Rogue. Out on my own, hunted and mauled by wild beasts, I am rescued by the Alpha of the Redmoon pack, Alexander Rowe. He saves me when I'm on the brink of death and then proposes to me, pulling me out of hell itself. But after two years of marriage, I overhear a conversation between Alexander and his Beta, Marcus Hale. "Alpha, you forgave Joanna in the Luna's family's name and helped secure her release. If this ever comes to light, the Alliance will arrest you, too." "She'll never know," Alexander says. "Joanna has served a year in prison. That's enough. She deserves the chance to move on and find happiness." So, the marriage I think saves me turns out to be Alexander's carefully planned trap all along. I decide it's time for them to pay the price.

Arielle Sarmiento was supposed to marry her long-time boyfriend, Lucas De Leon, but he didn’t show up on their wedding day. And the most painful part? She caught him in bed with her best friend, Bianca Yllana. Walang ibang nagawa si Arielle kundi magpakalasing sa bar. Doon niya nakilala ang isang lalaking estranghero. Silas Ferrell. Siya mismo ang nagyaya ng one-night stand dahil gusto niyang makaganti at gusto niyang makalimot. Silas didn’t hold back. They shared a night of heat, desire, and reckless abandon. That night, she gave him everything... pati ang pagkabirhen niya. Kinabukasan ay umalis siya sa condo ni Silas nang walang paalam. Pero pagpasok niya sa bago niyang trabaho, isang gulat ang bumungad sa kanya. Ang lalaking naka-one-night stand niya ay ang boss niya—si Silas Ferrell. Sa parehong araw, dumaing ang mundo niya. Ang ama niya ay na-diagnose ng congestive heart failure, at kailangan ng emergency surgery. Malaking halaga ang kailangang ilaan. Agad. Doon siya inalok ni Silas ng sampung milyong piso, kapalit ng kasal. Tinanggap niya ang alok dahil kailangan niya ng pera. Pumirma siya sa kontrata nang hindi binabasa. Ikinasal sila sa huwes. Pero nang mabasa niya ang kontrata sa bandang huli, natigilan siya. Walong buwang pagsasama bilang mag-asawa. May walong buwan din siyang obligasyon sa kama. Pero paano kung may mabuo sa pagitan nila? Paano kung mabuntis siya? Tatanggapin ba ni Silas ang bata, kung simula’t simula pa lang ay katawan lang niya ang habol nito, at malinaw sa kontrata na hindi siya puwedeng mabuntis?

Just as the Silverwolf Pack was about to fall into ruin, Blaise Larkin approached me and asked me to be his mate. I'd had a crush on Blaise for as long as I could remember. Now that my wildest dreams were about to come true, I was happy to form a mate bond with him. As I was the sole daughter of the Eastern Pack's Alpha, I was able to provide him with a mountain of resources by becoming Blaise's mate. One month after our bonding ceremony, I was expecting a pup. I was ecstatic, but before I could share the news with Blaise, I overheard something soul-shattering. "I wonder who fathered the pup of our pregnant Luna." "She probably got involved with some filthy Rogue. There's no way Alpha Blaise will let her give birth to that mutt, right?" If it weren't for those werewolves, I wouldn't know that Blaise was pretending we never mated. When I demanded answers in a deranged manner, he threw me into the underground prison and forced me to atone for the death of his first love. "If you didn't insist on becoming my mate, Susie wouldn't have left the pack—she also wouldn't have gotten slaughtered by Rogues!" Eight months later, I lost my pup in the cell I was imprisoned in and died, soaking in my own blood. When I opened my eyes once again, I found myself back on the day Blaise asked me to be his mate.

On my 22nd birthday, my uncle Scott discovered my diary. After he found out about my secret love for him, he sent me overseas. He then spent hundreds of thousands, marrying the love of his life.

A young guy keeps getting into trouble in very funny and unfortunate ways. He wrecked havocs on people too, mistakenly. He hallucinated and had great fantasies about people to brighten up his hearers. Afterwards, he came back to his mundane reality.

I was dumped because of my weight. My stepmother tried to comfort me, saying, "It's okay, it's okay. A little extra weight is good." I watched as my graceful sister took my place and married my fiancé. Meanwhile, I was sent abroad to be "fattened up like a pig." I barely escaped with my life and endured unimaginable hardships. Now, those who hurt me should, at the very least, face justice for their actions.

Everyone knew I was hopelessly in love with Hendrick Sam, willing to sacrifice my dignity for him. In the two years we were together, he would drop everything and leave me in the hospital whenever his “one true love” called. People mocked me, saying, “Chloe, you must really enjoy being a doormat.” I just smiled and stayed silent. Later, when he was on his deathbed, he asked, “Chloe, did you ever really love me?” I turned my back on him. Because it was never him I loved, it was his heart.

I was a mermaid from the deep sea. Out of curiosity and playfulness, I was caught by a fisherman and endured unbearable torment. Just when I was on the brink of death, Trevon Chapman happened to pass by and saved me. So, I gave up my identity as a mermaid princess, left the ocean behind, and followed him into the human world. For five years after our marriage, Trevon granted my every wish and showered me with affection. I truly believed I had found a safe harbor I could depend on for the rest of my life—until fate struck with its cruelest blow. Trevon's childhood sweetheart had fallen gravely ill, and only a mermaid’s tail could save her. I begged him desperately, but he responded with chilling indifference. "You're only losing your legs. Corinne is losing her life. Are you really that heartless? You're just going to watch her die?" "Besides, you can’t return to the sea anymore. That tail means nothing to you now. From now on, I’ll be your legs." After the surgery, I sat in a wheelchair, running my hand over the empty fabric where my legs should have been, and calmly demanded a divorce. Trevon pulled Corinne into his arms, sneering. "You're neither human nor fish now—a monster. Without me, the only road left for you is death." Yet in the end, when I transformed back into a mermaid and leapt into the sea, his cries and desperate sobs echoed across the waves.