Most Random Thing To Say Novels & Stories

“Thank you.” Reaching out, I hug my best friend slash roommate slash older sister from different mister tightly. “Oooh, my baby is growing up,” Mo croons in my ear. “She have a boyfriend now.” “Mo!” I shriek. “Don’t jinx it.” She lets out another set of laughter. “Chill out, girl. Que sera sera, okay? Whatever will be, will be,” she cites a saying that is her daily mantra. Her laugh fades when Mo reads the serious note in my face. She huffs. “Sorry, sorry. You and your superstition.”

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Still, you can see there's a certain logic to my thinking. After all, if you were asked to list the most likely occurrences in my life, regular masturbation sessions with two of my step sisters would have been pretty low, right? Probably buried somewhere between 'get my own unicorn' and 'find a million bucks abandoned on the sidewalk.' And yet, that's exactly what happened, with the kind of casual inevitability that usually accompanies events like 'tuna sandwich for lunch.'

“My hands aren’t shaking if that’s what you’re asking.” I think for a while, then an idea clicks. “You need a distraction, just to clear your head." “Like what?” “Talking,” I say. “We can talk about anything. Long, pointless conversations always knock you out eventually.” Dre laughs, sceptical. “You really think that’ll work?” “Trust me. You’ll be out in minutes.” “Okay,” she agrees, yawning. “What do we talk about?” “Anything you want.” She looks like she’s thinking too hard, so I jump in before she spirals.

I really can’t with myself. What am I doing again? OH RIGHT. I’M DYING. SHIT. Those can’t be my last thoughts! WAIT, I NEED A FEW MORE MINUTES! I’ll just think of something meaningful. Uuuhhhh…. My best friends! My family! My dogs! My idols! What else… Ok… I’m thinking of them… I can’t help but smile when I remembered the times when my best friends and I were being idiots, but at the same time, I thought philosophically. My mom, who I just became closer to in the last few years. I’m just happy that I can be more open to her. My dogs… Idols…

or as in “something that won’t make me throw my phone across the room” Me: Something harmless, maybe. Emily: Harmless and you in the same sentence? That’s new. I laughed, shaking my head. Me: I can behave. Emily: I’ll believe it when I see it. Her sarcasm made me grin. Me: Tell me something random. Emily: Random? Me: Yeah. Anything. A minute passed. Then— Emily: I can’t fall asleep unless I read a book first. Even if it’s just a page. I raised a brow.