My Disappointment Is Immeasurable Novels & Stories

I still didn't understand much of what had happened between us, maybe I Never would and only the thought of that brought me so much pain. "I was foolish" I muttered under my breath. Saying it was physically painful, like the tremble in my voice had twisted the knife sticking out of my chest. I wasn't sure if I had hit my rock bottom but I knew the reality had set in. Only the thought of that made me want to rip my feeble heart out. I disappointed my mother. Made my husband lose faith in me. Inflicted pain on my best friend. So what type of human does that make me? The worst kind right? Yeah I know.

Disappointed? His question resonates, crueler now, in the silence of my skull. My hand slaps the mirror, next to that unfamiliar face. The surface is icy. I hate the confusion he sowed. I hate even more the small, shameful, vibrating part of me that answers yes. Yes, there was disappointment. A dizzying drop when he said "Nothing."

I couldn't help but feel a little nervous under his intense gaze as I didn't want him to know I wasn't looking for leaving so early. I felt a wave of disappointment wash over me as soon as I heard the news. My face immediately dropped, and shoulders slumped in defeat. The thought of leaving London tomorrow was simply unbearable. I had to say goodbye to it all. My heart felt heavy as I imagined leaving this vibrant city behind, and returning to my mundane routine. The disappointment was written all over my face, with my eyes downcast and lips turned downwards in a frown. I knew that it was time to pack my bags and leave, but I wished I could stay just a little while longer.

It’s not like I had much to look forward to--- “Beyond disappointed!” Cedrick’s words ran through my head over and over, until they were screaming in my mind. I was a disappointment! I was a failure. I was nothing but trash. Waste. Clutter in their lives. Worthless… I wonder if they’d be happy – or even relieved – if I just disappeared? If I never existed? If I took my own life?

he said, gently cradling my head before pressing a soft kiss on my forehead. I closed my eyes, savoring the warmth he gave me, before finally looking up at his face, filled with concern. I tried to smile, though it felt so heavy. "I don't know, James. Everything just changed so quickly. All that’s happened... it’s too much. My disappointment is too deep toward him for leaving me for so long. I really don’t know what to do."

Somehow that made it worse. I leaned against the counter opposite her and rubbed the back of my neck. “You're really mad at me.” That earned me a soft laugh that carried absolutely no humor. “Mad would've been easier.” The quiet honesty in her voice made something twist painfully inside me. Silence stretched between us for a few seconds before I finally said, “I didn't know from the beginning.” She didn't look up. “But you knew.” Not accusatory. Not even angry. Just disappointed. And somehow disappointment from Joan felt a lot worse than anger ever could.

Kaden shook his head, disappointed. I bit my bottom lip as i grasped the utensils tightly. The disappointment that kept on rushing through me is beyond indescribable. It's just too unfair to my part. How can he stand there with all confidence, handsome as ever, dashingly unbothered? He's painful to watch. So painful, because his promising words for me before this moment happened were consistent to replay in my head, confusing me so damn much. But anyways, this is not so new to me anymore. The realization has been poking me since then, and i was just too undeniable, persistent and ignorant to accept that he'll always be that man who can never be mine.

Didn’t move. Didn’t speak. And in that silence, I had my answer. My chest constricted—tight with disappointment, with a sadness I hated myself for still being able to feel for him. I stared at him, disgust and disappointment clashing in my throat. “You see what I mean?” I shook my head, stepping back. “I’ve never been able to depend on you. I still can’t. You don’t get to call me out here like this. You don’t get to pretend.”

Like all the air immediately vanishes from my lungs in a great gasp, stealing all of my oxygen. It feels as though the ground has been pulled, no, ripped, from beneath me. Like suddenly there’s a great hollowness that exists inside of my chest. And to think, I had told myself that I was over him. I realize with the freshness of an open wound that I am disappointed. Completely and utterly disappointed. I realize something has left my heart. The expectations, fantasies, and past that I once had… they have departed from me. That's his final answer.

Her gaze seared into me, filled with disgust and disdain. I recoiled from her venomous words, feeling the sting of her disdain. "You are a disappointment, you have always been a disappointment, and you will forever remain a disappointment," she spat, her voice dripping with malice. My mother shook off my father's restraining hands and retreated into the room, leaving me feeling shattered and hollow. Her words pierced my soul like a dagger, leaving me wondering if I was nothing more than a perpetual disappointment in her eyes. The air seemed to suck out of the room, leaving me gasping for breath as I struggled to process the depth of her scorn.