Potato Puns Novels & Stories

“Well, it is a fantasy for a pregnant woman at least.” I laughed again as she started eating the plate and moaning with every bite. There were some garlic mashed potatoes and her eyes crossed like it was the most heavenly thing ever. “Okay, I’m making it a mission to make your eyes cross when we have sex, moving forward. If you aren’t doing that, then I’m doing something wrong.” I said, laughing. She laughed and then said, “These potatoes might be better than sex, guapo.” My eyes darkened, “You better not compare my prowess to mashed potatoes, tiger or you may not be walking in the morning.”

"See, I'm never wrong. Not even five minutes in the library and you're already on their blacklist." "I think what you meant was that I attract attention wherever I go," he wiggles his eyebrows, "being this handsome shouldn't be a crime." "Has anyone ever told you how narcissistic you are?" "Haters are going to hate, potatoes are going to potate." "Potate?" I slowly shake my head, "I don't think I've ever heard of that word before. Would you like to explain to me how potatoes potate?" He side-eyes me. "It's a saying. Plus, I couldn't think of a word that rhymes with potato."

Something she had protected, saved, and carried in her storage like a stupid little dream she refused to throw away even after Earth died around her. Then she started laughing. She grabbed a few baskets from her storage space and started collecting, moving from plant to plant while the babies pulsed with excitement inside her. Every bush gave more than it should have. Potatoes kept tumbling out, each one feeling more impossible than the last. The ten pieces she had planted gave her four hundred and eighty potatoes. “Four hundred and eighty,” Vera whispered, then laughed again because the number sounded insane. “Babies, we are rich. We are potato rich.”

I let out a deep breath He continued playing with my cheeks. “Aren’t you a cute potato?” “Blake!” I shoved his hand away. “How do you even think of things like that?” He leaned back laughing so hard his shoulders shook. “But you are cute.” “Yes, but of all things… a potato? Really?” I was trying so hard not to laugh. “What’s wrong with potatoes?” he asked between laughs. “You sure love making jokes about me, huh?” I pointed at him. “Don’t worry. Enjoy today. I’ll get you back another day.”

“You sure? They’re terrible.” “Worse than your attempts at washing dishes?” he teases. I gasp, mock offended. “That was one time. And you said you were gonna drop it.” “One very memorable time.” I smirk. “Ready?” He nods. “Okay. Why don't eggs tell each other secrets?” “Why?” “Because they might crack.” A short laugh escapes him. “That one’s bad.” “Wait, I’ve got more. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?”

If it's that good what the hell am I supposed to do? " what's so funny you dickhead?" I asked in an irritated tone but that only made him laugh even harder. I still don't get the fucking joke so sue me if I don't understand why he's laughing at me. I ignored him and started eating the French fry chicken that was there as well. Along with French fries and mashed potatoes. But there was a twist with this mash potato. They also added sweet potatoes with the Irish potatoes and lots of cheese. I was in heaven. I zoned out completely as I devoured the food greedily. I wasn't lying when I said that I ate before, but damn this was too much to pass up on.

Ok, it was a little big, but if I can take Leo’s dick, I sure can take a tiny potato. I could see he was trying not to smile. "Sure, I’d really like that." Ok, somehow this was harder than giving Leo a blowjob. I was struggling to break it down. I swallowed my potato, feeling it choking my throat, and he swiftly passed me my glass again. I took it and gulped it down. "Thanks." I said as I felt the potato going down. "Don’t you dare laugh." He grinned. "Alright, I won’t." "Good! Now eat up this is a lot of food for two."

He said while gesturing at the pot, offended by the way Aziel’s treating him. “I meant half of the number of potatoes that we have. Not literally half of each potato!” Aziel exclaimed while he pulled out a half-skinned potato. I let out a small chuckle at the scene I woke up to. They both turned their heads to me. I lowered my head immediately to hide my face. Sometimes I look good after waking up, and most of the time not. I’m not sure how I look today, but I ain’t risking it. This face is not really something you’d want to see first thing in the morning.

Even I do not know. I just thanked him and he ignored my laughter. He looks starving so instead of arguing with me, he just ate. I was full so I watched him. “What do you call this potato?” he suddenly asked. “That's called fries.” he nodded even more and my smile widened. “This body seems to like the taste of this dish.” he nodded as if his conclusion was correct. That's when I burst out laughing. Why didn't he just say that he liked the taste of it? It looks like he heard what I was thinking, so he immediately spoke up. “I did not like it, this body liked the taste of this food Sean.”

But the death toll increased even more. On the other hand, the crops finally yielded fruits after the intense shifts that David imposed on his minions. Pomerice is a fruit similar to pomegranates harvested from vines hanging to the ceiling of caves, but instead of having seeds in the center, there were capsules of red rice. After boiling them with purified water extracted from the swamp, they get a dish similar to rice. Acid potatoes, on the other hand, were very similar to the tuber that gave it its name, but thick resin cover its roots, it needs to be boiled to remove it, then boiled again to cook them.