potato jokes

"Honey, the washing machine's making that buzzing sound again. Can you fix it please?" I got up from my desk and walked over. Just as I placed my hand on the washing machine, a wave of numbness surged through my body. My heart pounded wildly before I convulsed and collapsed on the floor. Just before everything went dark, I heard my wife on the phone. "He has collapsed. He should be dead by now." The power outlet continued to hiss and buzz, like the mocking laughter of a devil. When I opened my eyes again, I was back to the day my wife asked me to fix the washing machine. I then decided to secretly follow her, only to discover she was posing as a topless model for her art teacher.

Taken in as a son-in-law, he led a miserable life. The moment he gained power, both his mother-in-law and sister-in-law kneeled down in front of him.His mother-in-law begged him, “Please don’t leave my daughter.”His sister-in-law said, “Brother-in-law, I was wrong…”

My sister leaves some last words before committing suicide, and everyone who sees those words die. My grandmother is the first to go, and then my father. In the end, even my mother jumps off a 30-story building. The reporters fall over themselves trying to score an interview with me, and the police interrogate me. Countless people want to know what my sister's last words are. However, I keep my silence until my sister's tenth death anniversary. I see a figure before her grave, and I'm agitated beyond imagination. I know it's time for death to take me.

Sarah ditugaskan ke sebuah desa untuk menjadi dokter di sana. Berharap menemukan ketenangan dan menjauhi stigma negatif, nyatanya dia bertemu dengan Adam. Cowok slengean yang bikin hidup Sarah tak tenang. Akan tetapi pertemuan itu menyingkap jati diri Adam, juga kasus yang menyeret nama pria itu. Akankah mereka mampu menyelesaikan masalah, yang ternyata saling berkaitan dengan masa lalu Sarah? Bisakah mereka bertahan untuk mereguk kebahagiaan? Atau menyerah, untuk kembali terpuruk? Cover by : El

Naging masalimuot ang kanyang buhay matapos siyang i-kasal. Matapos siyang makakuha ng kapangyarihan, parehong lumuhod sa harap niya ang kanyang biyenan at hipag. “Huwag mong iwanan ang anak ko,” pagmamakaawa ng kanyang biyenan. Sabi naman ng kanyang hipag, “Bayaw, ako’y nagkamali…”

Shane is my best kept secret. The more time that passes the tighter my hold on him gets. If my father thinks he can take my right to find my mate from me and sell me off to the highest bitter than he's got another thing coming. I'll take what I want and give the only thing he thinks I have of value to whoever I choose. And who do I choose? I choose Shane. Adea is the air I breathe. I won't let anyone come between us and I won't let the Moon Goddess try and decide who she gets to be with. Whether it be her father or destiny, no one will get in my way. Fate? Mate? These words mean nothing to me. No one wants us together, but the jokes on them, I'll decide my own destiny. Adea Biscoff is that destiny. In a new life where the curse has been broken, can everything unfold how it was supposed to? Will the star-crossed lovers finally have their chance? What happens when Shane remembers everything, but refuses to make the same mistake again? The tables have been turned and Shane realizes who the real villain has been all along. What if in this life, Shane demands she be the one to pay? ! Sexual and physical abuse may be triggering for survivors !

"How dare you keep my son away from me?!" "You rejected me and didn't want to do anything with me!" "I will reject you all over again to punish you for this!" "Jokes on you if you think I care about your rejection anymore." ___ Delilah was the contracted bride of Alpha Stephen Knight even after being his fated mate. Losing her parents at a young age was hard enough for her and getting brutally rejected by her mate was the last straw for her. She left with dignity and vowed to never turn back. But what happens when her past comes back to prove destiny once again? Stephen Knight never wanted anything to do with her but was that going to change when he sees her after years? She has changed but he hasn't. He is still the same heartless man. In the game of lies, revenge and pain, they will discover truths that's going to shatter their lives. Will Delilah find Stephen beside her or will he break her heart once again?

Once in a while, in the middle of life, love gives us a fairytale.And some fairytale love stories are completely unexpected and thus more memorable.No one expected the class president and the leader of Trouble Triggers to even talk about anything but notes and pencils. But then fate's a bitch and loves to meddle!Their life changes drastically when the good girl- Joanna Williams has to tutor the bad boy- Bryan Cooper.Along with the tutoring comes constant fun, too much bickering, lame jokes, scary sarcasm, idiotic friends, too many unknown emotions, jungles in tummy, bucket lists, unheard secrets and haunting pasts.Maybe some fairytales don't have a happy ending... or do they?

When nerdy but cute, Miranda Whitmore's parents decide to move to a place called Howling Cliffs, she is not happy. But there's nothing she despises more in this small town than Nigel Vanderwolf, the hot jock who happens to be the son of the man Miranda's family is staying with. The two bump heads continuously, with Nigel's crude sexual jokes and relentless mockery of her virgin status and Miranda's snappy rebuttals and ability to annoy him constantly. But one night after a dangerous game of Truth or Dare, Miranda becomes lost in the woods where she gets trapped in a cave because of a thunderstorm. Feeling guilty of his part in Miranda's disappearance, Nigel sets out to find her. He stumbles on the girl he finds the most annoying, sheltering in the Forbidden Cavern. The two ensue in a heated argument, disturbing the God that resides there. After Nigel takes Miranda home, the two decide to never speak to each other again, thus going their separate ways, only to wake the next morning to find themselves in each other's bodies. Now Miranda has the upper hand because she has finally learned Nigel's secret. Her neighbour and bully is a werewolf. What will Miranda do with this newfound information? Will she expose to the world that the supernatural is real? How will Nigel cope with this magical phenomenon? Will he be able to switch back in time for the great Alpha Trials? Follow Miranda and Nigel in this epic tale of enemies to lovers in the Werewolf Switch.

He smirked, knowing he was on the winning side. "So it's a done deal for three months?" He raised his eyebrows, putting his hand forth for a handshake. I looked at the long fingers and perfectly aligned nails and then at his patient face. Sighing to myself I my own hand into his and ignored the tingles that flowed through every nerve as his fingers curled around my hand and shook it lightly. "Yeah three months." "Goodnight then." He winked, removing his hand from mine and turned to walk away. "Hey wait!" I called out, suddenly remembering something. "You don't have my number." "What makes you think that? I have my ways Smith." And with one last wink I saw him take a turn and disappear from my sight. I let out a long breath, leaning on the nearby wall. Looks like I just made a deal with the Devil. * A sarcastic girl, a cocky guy. Throw in some mystery, murder, filthy jokes, wonderful friends, tons of kisses, secrets, surprises, eye-rolls and a killer on run. And you have got yourself a story never read before. ***So grab a cup of hot chocolate, some chips and a warm blanket and get ready to laugh, cry and bite your lip in anticipation. Enjoy!!