Random Funny Novels & Stories

I am totally bored. Dill: What? That sucks. Good thing you have me to occupy your time. Me: Ha Ha. I know right!? Still...I wonder whats taking him so long! I sighed and put down my phone. I wonder how long he's going to take. I still didn't eat breakfast. After a couple of seconds Dillion texted me back. Dill: Maybe he's jerking off somewhere... with a clown. After reading that text, I started bursting out into laughter. He always said the most stupid and random things that always made me laugh.

Dad muttered, and I turned to him in alarm. Everybody except for Armani broke down laughing, though I could have sworn he was trying not to smile next to me. I closed my open mouth and looked down shyly. I was going to have to get better at this. Through his chuckles, Dad explained, "I wasn't referring to you, Rosie! Your sisters!"

Without knowing. Damn. I don't even find it funny.

She deadass did save my life but something in the back of my mind kept telling me that was not the reason I was agitated to meet her. "Then tell me what the fuck the reason is, you stupid brain." I yelled into my pillow, muffling the sound to the point where it almost sounded non-existent. I'm not one to play mind games, I just wanted to know the reason. Did you get the pun there? I'm so fucking funny. I know you're shaking your head thinking of what a stupid pun that was. But you know it was fucking lit. Maybe I should go into Comedy instead, I'm too funny for Urban/Realistic/Drama. Imagine my next stop being called Life of Eve: Comedy and Puns. What do you think?

VINCE "Joy has a habit of talking to herself?" Mum asked, her voice cracking because of her laughter. I nodded, "She does. A lot." Joy couldn't stop laughing either and neither could Richard. For the past half an hour, every one of us brought up stories that had our stomachs hurting. "Well, it's not weird at all. Richard here has a habit of farting when he's nervous." Ri immediately retorted, “Now, that’s very embarrassing.”

Arian tried again, narrowly missing Jeffrey's perfect score who was scowling at him. "Says the mama's boy." He snorted and earned a glare, plus a wicked chuckle from Ricky. "Enough of this shit. Let's hang elsewhere, I'm bored." Ricky plopped down on a couch and balanced his drink on his forehead. "There's this crazy club 'De funz' which launched about a month ago. Everyone's been talking about it at school. Wanna crash?" Jeffrey brought out his phone and scrolled through it. "Definitely." Ricky, who was in simple clothes groaned and stood up to get dressed. They turned to look at the young master who had a clearly not interested look on.

I sat across from a guy named Devin, who smelled like woody, fresh spicy tobacco. His wolf energy wasn’t so overwhelming but his smile made me look away every second to make sure we weren’t the only people left in the cafe. “So, what do you do for fun?” he asked, leaning forward with lingering interest. I sipped my drink. “I punch things and make them turn red. Usually people.” He blinked with confusion. “Kidding,” I added with a tight smile. Kind of. He chuckled awkwardly. “You’re funny. You seem more like a girl with a sharp mouth than one who can wreck a jaw.”

Тургенев, Рудин. КНИ́ГА, -и, ж. 1. Произведение печати (в старину — также рукопись) в виде сброшюрованных, переплетенных вместе листов с каким-л. текстом. Книга большого формата. Толстая книга. Раскрыть книгу. □ [Аночке] предложили посмотреть книгу с картинками. Федин, Первые радости. || Сочинение, произведение более или менее значительного объема, напечатанное отдельным изданием или предназначенное для него. Интересная книга. Написать книгу. □ Наталья должна была каждое утро читать исторические книги, путеш ествия и другие назидательные сочинения. Тургенев, Рудин.

He was funny most of the time but somehow managed to take some of his jokes a little too far. “I like your creativity, but no. Come on, let’s make this a little more interesting people!” I said, now already done with my cider. Dante offered me another one which I wasted no time in raising to my lips. And as I did, everyone took their turn in guessing what activities had been occupying my time. They ranged from assassin training to nude painting and admittedly, we all laughed and drank ourselves silly until Randy yelled out, “Dante hasn’t said what he guessed. Tell her Dante, tell her your lame guess.” Dante rolled his eyes before saying, “It’s not lame!”