Relatable Funny Quotes Novels & Stories

"Can I kiss you?" Asked Mr. Harold, the Mathematics teacher who has been the subject of lusty daydreaming of my best friend, Zetta, and other female students. “Eh? Nooooo!” I answered nervously. We are in the gym. "Why?" He asked he dared to ask?! Duh! "You are a teacher and I am your student...duh." I take it as my way out of the gym. He asked me to talk inside the building?! Huh... I should know better, than not trusting any human with a penis! Why? Because they are the real pervert. That teacher dared to ask for a kiss? He is granted for a great punch, kicks or maybe slap? That was the very first time of my nightmare in high school, he stole my first kiss and stole my great-teen-life.

As a rogue Lizzie is constantly looking over her shoulder, never able to stay in one place for too long. That is until Evan walks into the diner she is working. The Moon Goddess had other plans for her!

What happens when a wedding planner has to work alongside a temperamental and annoying bride's brother to plan the wedding of the year? Chaos, pure chaos. The last thing Violet needed was a man to touch her slightly not so flat stomach (or perhaps it was a little more than slightly not to flat) and press her against a wall. She wasn't a model, and she knew it. So naturally, she just sucks her stomach in. Violet prided herself on creating the best weddings society has ever seen, the last thing she needed was to go head to head with the bride's brother, when planning Melbourne's biggest wedding of the year. Alex was everything Violet could dream about, but not touch. Handsome, built straight out of a magazine with the six pack. Was his interest in Violet genuine, or just another charm for the bedrest?

Anaheim, the Home of Disneyland in California City famous for Hockey stadium, art museum, convention centres. Among them, it is also famous for nightclubs. On a busy night in California Girls Anaheim(Adult Entertainment Club), Nicolas Winston searches for a girl to spend the night with. While looking around, he come across Elena who just undergone a break up, came to the club to get drunk. Nick sees Elena and ask her to sleep with him. In the beginning she rejects him but later she'll accept the offer. Both of them decides to hook up and end up in a hotel. When Nick comes to know that Elena is still virgin, he drops the idea of sleeping with her. Elena gets excited about Nick and ask about his love life since he talked lot about 'first time' and 'virginity'. Nick and Elena share their love story to each other's. They become friends from One nightstand. Nick and Elena meet again and again on different occasions and share their love stories. Nick helps Elena to overcome her truma from her past life and in return Elena helps Nick overcoming his lost love. Soon, they fall for each other without knowing. Nicolas's side story - High School Love. Elena's side story - Office Romance.

There were five things I was absolutely certain I wouldn't miss even if I became blind: -The first one was the fact that I was a slave and my life would never go back to the way it was. -The Second one was the Duke who bought me was a dragon hiding his identity for a reason I didn't know. Weren't dragons supposed to be powerful and all? Using his race might give him a huge advantage in politics. -The third one I was certain the Duke was hungry for me and I started to love him. Furthermore, he was cursed and the cursed ones didn't live for more than a year. Conquering him was a lost cause; a battle with less than 50% of success. However… Was it really necessary to label numbers on everything that was happening? -The Fourth one: Was it really necessary for Dotoria, the human land, to curse the other races existing within its borders? I wasn't confident about the statement. Nonetheless, everyone was looking for a wish granter gem. The nine kingdoms collided eying the gemstone like a prize for dominion. -The Fifth one had the magic of belief in it; Do you work on your dream or stay back hiding behind a smoke of mist fearing failure? I wanted to escape but I gradually lost interest in it. The world was a mystery in my eyes and I was taught to never engage in a battle with less than 50% of success. Do I even have a dream because the only thing I wished for was the reason I was a slave. People were driven by dreams and goals and I didn't have one yet.

The things that have to happen in the universe to lead us to a very particular moment in time are often a mystery but for Pearl and Corey, just getting them in the same room isn’t enough. They both fight their attraction to each other for different reasons, but their fire is an eruption in the making. Pearl has a nine to five during the day, but plays the guitar and dreams of making it big at night. Her long time fiance and her best friend have a nasty secret that forever alters her life. Corey is a bass player in the hard rock band Feisty, determined to be a bachelor for life even though two of his best friends have tied the knot. Can these two come together and accept that the universe is determined to win? **This is book three of five, of my Feisty series. This can be read as a stand alone book but you will be better able to follow if you read them in order.**

THE REVENGE OF THE HEARTLESS CEO Olivia Abertton is sweet, funny, and caring, the “apple of her father’s eye,” Ernest Abertton, despite being the daughter of an extramarital affair. Gabe Clifford is the CEO of the world’s largest pharmaceutical company. Intelligent, cunning, a heartless man capable of anything to get what he wants. He spent years plotting his revenge against the Aberttons. She remained kind and joyful, even as everything around her seemed to crumble. He wanted to destroy her to savor every tear of Ernest Abertton, the man he devoted his life to making suffer. She was in love with his brother. He spun the web, and she was the prey. What Gabe didn’t know was that revenge could be far sweeter than he imagined. Olivia, in turn, never imagined someone could be as unscrupulous and heartless as that man. A desire for revenge greater than anything. A woman determined to change her fate. A marriage treated as a business deal. He used her as a tool for revenge against the man he hated most. He just didn’t expect that meeting her would be his worst punishment.

“Here, you will be prepared for what would be THE most important night of your life. Several other girls have gone before you and have obviously failed but you can be the chosen one. Do as you’re told, no funny business, and most importantly, turn on your charm because you will be having dinner with the Alpha King tonight! Good luck girls.” *** Those words had seemed simple at first but that was until the time came to face the reality. Elysia, an orphaned omega girl with untapped powers, finds herself thrust into a perilous destiny. When a cursed Lycan, tormented by the darkness within, seeks her out as his last hope, Elysia must make a harrowing choice. To break the curse that plagues him, she must become a Surrogate for the man who wasn’t only known to be ruthless and vicious but had also been the source of her deepest pain. Will Elysia be able to move past her hatred for the Alpha and save him with a child or will she choose the path of revenge and make him pay for what he had done? Dive into a world of magic, love, revenge and temptation in this captivating tale of Fate.

"Make sure you wipe the counter," I remind him while wearing my panties. "With my tongue?" "Sure, if you wipe again with disinfectant after that." "Awww my little girl all grown up, using the word disinfectant and all. Bet you're getting deflowered any day now!" I smack his head while he laughs, thinking it's funny to keep on teasing me since last week. "I hope his willy isn't as big as mine," okay what now, "so he won't hurt your flower." I wanted to be mad at him, I do, but I laugh instead, stupid Toffer and his little boy talk. *** 30 year old Nina is confused with her hopeless love life. While her best friend pleasures women in the next room, she remains in her space keeping her virginity in-tact, wondering if she’s meant to be with her first love or she needs to move on to find her true soulmate. It takes my first love to end my dating strike. But will it take my first love to end my virginity?

I could hear his heart race as he spoke, my head pressed against his chest. “And were you pleased with what you found?” I asked, giving in to the urge to find out exactly what he thought of me. “I found you to be exactly what I had hoped for, after all these years. You’re smart, funny and generally adorable. You drive me insane with your stubbornness. You have a gorgeously alluring figure and a pure, sweet face. Most importantly, you’re someone who I could live with for the rest of eternity.” He squeezed me gently, running his fingers through my tangled hair. *** Seventeen year old Callista is just your average teenage girl, however when she starts to have strange dreams after coming into contact with a mysterious guy in a coma things become complicated: especially when she begins to suspect that he is trying to speak to her through her dreams. Launched into an alternate realm with Greek gods, succubi and all things mythological, Callista struggles to balance her new-found destiny and her life in the human realm.