control
"I hate the distance. I hate that I created it by being afraid. I hate that my default response to vulnerability is to run."
"I know," Eli said.
"I want to stop doing that," I said. "But I don't actually know how to exist any other way. I've spent so long maintaining control that the idea of just... surrendering to what I feel is terrifying."
Eli stood up and moved closer to me.
"I'm not asking you to surrender," he said. "I'm asking you to stay. While you figure it out. While you're scared. While you're learning. Just... stay instead of running."