Sans Jokes Novels & Stories

I haven’t been the nicest to him over the last few months. “I think I can handle that, if your cousins don’t get too touchy and flirty.” I like Jimmy and Saoirse. It was fun to watch them chase after Sue and Rina all summer. They are clever and snarky, but almost all of their humor revolved around sexual innuendo. I honestly can’t tell when they’re joking about threesomes and orgys, or if they’re serious. “I make no promises,” Nate held both his hands up and grinned.

I don't like this at all. "I can tell you are being very very very sarcastic. But if this is some sick joke, it really isn't funny," I say, mostly trying to convince myself that whatever Axel just said was all just part of some terrible joke. Xena has told me a bunch of times that Axel always says these bizarre things and most of the time you can't even tell if he is joking or not. This is just of those jokes, right? "Do I look like I am joking?" Axel interrupts my thoughts.

DECLAN “YOU’RE SHITTING ME.” It wasn’t a question. It was a statement. A statement because I knew Brennan was joking. He had to be, didn’t he? Of course, there was massive concern over the fact that he was the one imparting this news to me. After all, Brennan rarely joked. It wasn’t that he was somber, it was that he saw the world a little differently. There was nothing wrong with that considering the world we lived in was a shower of shit, but still, he wasn’t easily amused.

Jeff jokes around and laughs his ass out. “Shut up,” “Shut up!” Both Seid and I yell at his not-so-funny joke.

“Thea…” I didn’t look at him. Noah sighed again, louder this time, the dramatic kind he used when he wanted sympathy. “Maybe I… took the joke too far.” I almost snorted. Maybe? But all that left my mouth was a thin, “Okay.” He groaned and sat up. “Look… I’m sorry, okay? I took it too far this afternoon. The whole ‘don’t be a buzzkill’ thing. I was showing off for the guys. It was stupid.”

Lucas said and Brandon smiled. “As long as you heard it,” he said “What? Heard what? Oh sorry, I think I'm having an ear problem which makes it difficult for me to hear what you say, although I can hear what other people say, but I just can't hear yours” he said and Brandon hummed. “You have no sense of humor, Brandon. You don't know when someone is having fun because you are always too serious” Lucas said and Brandon scoffed. “I just don't have time for jokes, Lucas and I'm not kidding when I asked you to stay away from Hannah,” he said and Lucas shrugged.

On matriculation day, I carried my acceptance letter to the campus grounds to register alone. But before I could cross the threshold, the guards drove me back into the street with their anti-riot forks. Humiliated and bewildered, I reached for my phone to call my childhood friend, Daisy Reid. A sharp laughter rippled through the receiver. “Violet, are you truly that blind behind those glasses? The letter you swept off the desk was a forgery I mocked up. Your actual one is still sitting at home.” Panicked, I hastily booked a return ticket and hurried back to search for my letter. I scoured the house for hours, turning up nothing. Just then, Daisy’s personalized ringtone sang out from my palm.

No sane group, bar a cult, would dress an unconscious woman in a wedding dress. I shook my head; it could be a joke: such horrendous pranks were popular these days. Though it is giving me creeps to not see a single familiar moron, it doesn't really bother me as I believe nothing horribly wrong can happen that hasn't already happened tonight. This is just a sick joke. It should be...

He couldn't keep eye contact with me as he said that. And that was what made me just think that just maybe, he was joking. " It's not funny " I glared at him trying to pull off a prank on me with total fail. " Miss Shawn please calm down " " Calm down!?, calm down!??... You practically just pulled the worst joke in the history of comedy and you're telling me to calm down!?.. I ask you again, WHERE- IS- MY- BABY!!?" I snapped. This is in no way funny, and why is everyone keeping sober faces? Are they all in on this plan too? Is this what they occupied themselves with today? A way to hurt me?

she rambles on. "Anika, it's fine." I cut in before she worked herself into a frenzy. "At least, I'm not dead." Too late, I realized it was too soon for that type of joke as Anika's eyes widened, her eyes big as saucers and horror crept into them. "That was a joke. I didn't mean it, I'm fine and that's all that matters. As Miss Lorna said, I'll be as good as new before you know it."