Sendiri Sendiri Ku Diam Novels & Stories

​And in the silence of my mind, a single, possessive word echoed with terrifying absolute certainty: ​Mine.

In the room, I sat on the edge of my bed and listened to my sister's voice fill the space that the silence of this house kept trying to claim and I told myself what I always tell myself. I'm fine. I'm going to be fine. I just really, genuinely, absolutely cannot stand that man.

Quietly. To herself. The word finding its home. In the woman who had always been it. Finally. Named.

“Only my voice.” The others grew louder. As if they knew I was trying to ignore them. As if they wanted to be heard. I squeezed my eyes shut. My breathing uneven. Fast. *Ignore them.* *Ignore them.* *Ignore them.* It wasn’t easy. It wasn’t quick. It felt like fighting against a storm with nothing but bare hands. But slowly— Very slowly— I began to separate the sounds. Push them back. Not silence them— But… dull them. Until— One voice remained.

"We shall one day stand on the stage of highest honor and shine as brightly as the sun." I muttered softly, "I did it, Shawn. If there's a next life, I hope you'll achieve the same." A gentle breeze caressed my ears. I finally let go of my past in pursuit of a brand new future.

I said calmly ***

The room was very quiet. I looked at this man sitting on the edge of my bed at eleven at night who had walked through locked doors and past security like they were suggestions and was now telling me he didn't like that I'd spent the evening with my own family — and I understood, very clearly, that there was not a single version of normal anywhere near this situation. "You need to leave," I said. "No." Just no. Flat. Final. Like the word was a wall. "Damien—"

*Amber* I can’t stop pacing. The rhythm of my footsteps against the cool wooden floor echoes in the dimly lit room, each step a manifestation of my anxious thoughts. Adis sits on the worn couch, cradling Adion in his arms, his voice low and soothing as he reads a story about brave knights and fearsome dragons. Adion’s wide eyes are glued to the pages, completely captivated, blissfully unaware of the chaos swirling outside these walls.

Still, no one talks. “I really don’t have much fight left, so it won’t be too difficult for you to win. Kill me, brand me like they wanted to, anything, really.” There’s still that damn silence. “Should I call it goodnight, then?” Still, no one speaks, and it’s getting on my nerves. “It’s rude to leave someone talking to themselves, you know?” Still nothing.

On this silent night, I can hear my silent cries the loudest. 🔸🔸🔸