Novel & Cerita Kalau Ku Seorang Diri

You are not alone. Your Author, Ally Ocampo

By the time I knew it, I was already inside the tree, standing— with my mind blank like a white sheet of paper. No matter how beautiful the scene is— I can’t feel a single thing. It seems… I forgot. I forgot what does it feels like to be alone. I forgot how scary being alone could be. Though I want Kuroyuki to help me— I know I said that. But now I don’t have anyone to depend on. There’s no one I could rely on.

And that had made all the sisters closer. I missed them. “I'm feeling so alone here,” I confessed softly. - try to be independent so it's difficult because I've always been one half of a couple. “I'm sure it is. But you can do it. When you decided to go on a cruise, I thought I would do it alone. Your intuition told you that it was better for you than staying at home. Trust that instinct. You're going to learn a lot this week, and yes, it will be lonely at times, but

It looks like I'm solo on this now. Fuck this is gonna be a suicide mission.

They then took my cash and ran; just the way I came. I was left all alone crying, crying out loud, and begging for help as if someone will hear me. They left me lying on the ground in the wasteland, weak like a paper that could be blown by wind at any time. I had lost hope and was ready to sleep there when I heard a voice say, “You called this to yourself, and now you are on your own. Next time, be careful on what you wish for because the universe might prepare it for you, like it just did.”

I heard Austin’s deep voice as I rushed out of the place. Time? Oh hell yes. I need time to be all alone. At least for now.

“I feel like I’m breaking apart, Ingrid.” She gently squeezed my hand. “It’ll be okay. I’m here. Adrian’s here. You’re not alone.” I laughed bitterly. “That’s the problem. I am STILL alone. There’s no one I can talk to that can help me with this. I don’t even know who I am anymore. And the one person I want to be with—I might not be allowed to.” Ingrid flinched, and for a moment I saw something flicker in her eyes. Guilt. Pain.

Her absence today highlighted how much I miss her company, reinforcing my resistance to building connections with others. The lingering sense of loneliness has been a constant companion in my life for an extended period, and I am hesitant to endure such feelings once more. The endeavour to retain self-control and lead a tranquil existence, free from perpetual fear and the need for constant support, has proven to be challenging. I am acutely aware that those who encounter me are incapable of comprehending the extent of my experiences.

My chest tightened as the anger threatened to overwhelm me yet again. I leaned forward, clasping onto the edge of the table, and looked once more out at the moon. "No. No, I don't need him. I don't need anyone," I whispered low and with all the intensity. "I can do this myself. I don't need to feel like that. I've made up my mind." And yet, I had felt the emptiness more grimly with those words leaving my lips. The coldness of that silence pressed in upon me; for the first time, I really knew how utterly alone I was.

No one has ever truly loved me, and no one ever will. I walk slowly and quietly in the woods; it is so quiet that only the breaking of sticks under our feet can be heard. “You can go back now. I won’t come back. Why will I?” I mutter, then increase my pace. “I’m better off on my own, I don’t need… I don’t…” I slump on the ground, tears flowing freely from my eyes. “Keep walking,” one of them says. I stand up, clear my eyes, and keep walking. After all, that is the only thing I can do.