So Dumb Jokes Novels & Stories

Warning! Explicit content! I smelt something different the moment I stepped foot in my room. It was dark and I couldn't see a thing, but something smelt different. I moved my hand to the wall, turning on the light switch. The entire place became bright immediately, and that was the moment my nightmare began, the moment my life changed forever. Electrifying shock tingled through me as I found a strange figure, seated in the middle of the room. My blood ran cold instantly. My legs tottered and my lungs stopped pumping air. His presence froze me at once, or was it his eyes that were as cold and dark as shadows carved in stones? They stared so coldly at me, cloaked in an eerie stillness that sent shivers down my spine. I had never seen a picture of the devil before. But this guy in front me looked like someone who must be very close to him. **** He had been stalking her for three days. He knew where she worked, where she lived and the dumb people she visited. She didn't have much friends, just a bunch of nuns who appeared in fúcking white garments. She smiled so brightly like she was the purest soul on earth. She acted so naive like she's never been fucked before. It didn't matter how much she pretended, how much she tried to hide her identity. She was his next target and he'd be treating her like one. He didn't become the King of the night for no reason; the renowned torturer. He'd torture her like he did to others, get the information he needed and put a sweet bullet in her head. She was not getting off his list.

Travis "Punch" Mitchell is not just any wolf shifter. He should absolutely be illegal, everything about him is sculpted by the goddess herself. He is the lead enforcer of the Flying Death, one of the most deadly and notorious packs there is. Alpha Axel "Dozer" Dennison adopted him and knew immediately that Punch was no ordinary pup. It takes a killer to know a killer. As fate would have it, Alpha Dozer has a beautiful daughter nobody dares to go near. Punch however, is already closer than anyone else to the female. They are in a constant tit for tat with each other, neither ever winning and always walking away frustrated with the other. He's a lot of bark, but no bite when it comes to her. Hazel Dennison is a girl who knows what she wants but is extremely immature with how she gets it. Punch is not only her ultimate nemesis, he is her crush. Her dream mate who wants nothing to do with her. Little does she know he's the female he loves to hate. When she takes matters into her own hands and dates another Alpha's son, Punch can't just sit back. Unfortunately for him, pack business interferes in his love life and everything goes upside down. Excerpt: I find myself leaning against the wall by his room, grateful my parents’ room is downstairs. "Go to bed,” I hear, barely above a whisper. "No,” I say, defiantly, turning to face his door. Either he sensed my heartbeat out here or he smelled me. Maybe both. I can’t wait to have my wolf. This sucks. He needs to know I’m not backing down. I’m not a dumb pup, I more than know what I want. Him. However I can get him.

"Are you insane? What the hell are you doing here? Why are you so dumb? Don't you know to be safe? How the hell did you get in? God!" I pushed her aside and she fell on the couch. Her innocent child-like face has a bright smile. Is she deaf? I'm yelling at her and she is smiling like an idiot. "So, it's you! You are Mr. Stranger! I'm so happy." She hugged me. She didn't know what trouble she had gotten herself into. I totally lost my cool and pulled her away and slapped her hard across her face. Yadav Rishid is a hot young business-man who is the heart-throb for young girls in south India now. He is responsible for all the wet dreams of girls right now. He attracts so much attention in his field that every young heroine and young models end up in his bed. He is named a very talented, strict, arrogant and punctual man. He is labelled as a play boy! I went behind him and hugged him, pressing my bosoms on him. He stopped talking, I stopped thinking. "I love you, Yash." He took my hands off and turned to me. He took my face in his palms and crashed his lips on mine and sucked the life out of me! Akshitha is a simple girl of 21yrs living in Coonoor. She has just finished college and was selected in campus interview to work in Chennai. She is a happy playful girl who enjoys every little thing in her life. What happens when our simple girl's admiration for the star turns into deep love? Will they meet? Will she convey her love to him? Are they destined to be together? What happens when they are thrown together in dangers risking their life?

[ NOW ONGOING. ] ‘I can’t wait to make you mine, Lorelei.’ I read the text with a naughty smile. That’s Leo. The man I fell in love with via chat. I thought it was dumb to love someone you’ve never met, but look at me now. ‘I can’t wait for you to rip off my underwear.’ I texted and sent. Shivers ran down my spine while waiting for his response. Sexting through casual texts has become a thing I enjoy with him now. I bit my lips as I stared at our chat, anticipating. Just then, someone barged into my room. I put my phone down like I was doing something wrong. It was my mother. She has a worried look on her face. My father and stepmother walked in holding an envelope. I stared at them confused. “Pack your things and leave. You will get married on Thursday.” My father said cruelly. My brows creased and I tried to object but he held out the papers. “You don’t have a say in this Lorelei. I already sold you out.” What is he talking about? How can he arrange my own wedding? I knew I wasn’t my father’s favourite child, but this is next level hate. “Go and live with your husband. He bought you. And darling, there’s no turning back.” My stepmom added with a smile and threw the document on my bed. I picked it up and read the first page. ‘This contract seals the marriage between Ace Salvatore and Lorelei Stanley.’ Ace Salvatore? The man rumoured to be the devil himself.... My phone made a gentle ding and I looked at it. It was Leo. Tears cascaded my eyelids. How can I marry someone when I’m in love withsomeoneelse?

Outside the police tape surrounding a fancy hotel, a police officer can be seen blocking my way. "There seems to be a bomb hidden in the hotel! Unauthorized personnel are not allowed to get any closer!" I'm just about to dig out my work badge when the intern next to me, Christine Wyatt, covers her mouth in a pretentiously shocked manner. "Officer, there's a detonator and a timer in his bag! Those things look so scary!" The entire scene goes eerily silent. Almost immediately, I see a few guns getting aimed at my forehead. Anxiety begins overwhelming me. "I'm a bomb disposal expert from the Headquarters Explosive Ordnance Disposal Unit! My bag contains all the tools necessary to dispose of a bomb!" "Throw your bag over to me and keep your hands where I can see them!" Captain Scott Hunter roars at me. My bag is opened afterward. Things like an insulated cutter, a bomb suppression blanket, and a liquid nitrogen cooling tank are scattered across the ground. Before I can explain myself, Christine suddenly points at me while screaming, "Why are you still playing dumb? You just told me that you wanted to set off an explosion in that hotel! "What, now that the police are here, you dare not admit what you just said, huh? You're a terrorist through and through!" Scott reacts quickly by pinning me on the hood of the police cruiser with my hands folded behind my back. "We're taking you back for a thorough interrogation!" My heart almost stops at those words. The bomb that's packed with enough firepower to take out half a street has already gone on a countdown in the hotel lobby. But I, the only bomb disposal expert who can get rid of the bomb, have handcuffs put on me because of Christine's nonsensical accusations. Right now, there are only 29 minutes left before the bomb goes off.

To scrape together enough money for tickets home on New Year’s Eve, I took on a part-time job and accidentally entered a livestream where money was being thrown around. The boy on screen had fair skin and wore a high-end knit sweater, with a luxuriously decorated villa behind him. “It’s too boring being kept here. My sugar mommy gives me more money than I can spend. Let’s do some giveaways.” Excited, I grabbed several large cash drops in a row. The money for my girlfriend’s and my tickets was almost enough. Then the boy suddenly leaned close to the camera. “She keeps saying the tear mole under my eye looks like her boyfriend’s. What bad luck, sharing the same feature as some poor loser.” My fingers trembled. I had a tear mole in the exact same spot. A comment floated by: [How could a sugar mommy’s boyfriend be poor?] The boy sneered, running a hand through his hair. “She’s just playing around. Told him she’s a million in debt, and he’s dumb enough to work and help her pay it off.” My heart went cold. My girlfriend was also supposedly a million in debt. “The funniest part is, she just spent three days with me. When she left, I asked if she still had the energy to go be with him. “She said as long as she tells him she’s going to wash dishes at a barbecue place, that idiot will feel bad and go deliver food to make some extra money overnight.” Another big cash drop came in. I had enough now. My phone rang. Wren’s voice sounded tired as she said, “Aran, the ticket money isn’t enough… I made a little over two hundred dollars washing dishes. I’ll head home now.”

I put my things away, and when I pretended to leave Fight Club, I was approached by the least expected person of all. William Walker himself. "Sage?" he asked in a soft voice. "Yes," I said in a modulated tone of voice so he wouldn't recognize my real voice, though I could bet he would never realize who I was. "I liked your fight; the way you knocked that guy out was fun," he said, and I realized that the really dumb guy was looking at me like I was candy. "It's a good thing you liked it; I guess you bet on me," I said sarcastically and turned to walk away and leave him talking to himself, but the very wayward one grabbed my arm. "Sorry about that," William said, and I glared at him. "I'd like to buy you a drink and maybe lunch. I know from my own experience that after a good fight, it makes you very hungry." I shook my head at his pathetic attempt at conquest and laughed. "Sorry, but I'm not dating anyone, so I hope you have an excellent evening," I said humorously and headed for the exit. I hoped the spoiled child of the pack had gotten the message. ___________ Snow was the outcast of the Ever Green Pack, every pack member kept a distance from her. When William Walker, the Alpha heir found the weak ‘Omega’ was his mate, he unhesitatingly decided to reject Snow when she turned 18. But William didn’t know that his secret admiration of a girl named Sage in the Fighter Club was another identity of Snow. William had a big interest in Sage and wanted her so much. Sage is strong and Snow is weak, the two different profiles of the same girl make things interesting. Which side of her could win William’s heart? What’s the truth of Snow’s early shift and her great power? Read the book to find the answer.

**WARNING: VERY EXPLICIT 21+** + + My name doesn't matter. My filthy urges do. I came home from work. The bedroom door was half open. My husband was there, pounding into some woman on our bed, his cock slamming in and out, deep and rough. I should have screamed. Instead my pussy clenched hard. I stood frozen, watching every thrust. My hand slipped under my skirt on its own. Fingers circled my clit as he fucked her right in front of me. He glanced over. “You like watching my cock stretch her?” I rubbed faster. “Don’t stop,” I whispered. Then I came shaking, eyes locked on him pounding her. *** 69 Dripping Fantasies is sixty-nine raw taboo stories. Wives catching husbands cheating and getting soaked instead of angry. Step-family secrets whispered in quiet. Glory holes that fill fast. Honeymoon wife swaps sparked by one dumb dare. Older rich men taking total control. Professors crossing every forbidden line. Husband’s best friends sneaking in. Strangers who follow, then fuck hard. Group nights in dark clubs. Cucks cleaning up every last drop. *** I’m on my knees. One thick cock buried deep in my throat, making me gag. The woman behind me squeezes my tits until it hurts so good. Her tongue between my ass, teasing, no cock has filled my pussy or ass yet. But I’m trembling, dripping, seconds from squirting everywhere. Two massive black cocks wait their turn, and her presence makes it filthier… hotter. I never knew I craved this so badly. *** No soft romance. Just dirty yeses where no should be. Sixty-nine stories. Sixty-nine surrenders. Read if you’re brave. These pages might leave you wet, jealous, horny… or secretly think of your own filthy fantasies when nobody’s watching. Reader discretion is strongly advised.

Nicholas Hunt loves testing me a lot. When I just graduated from university, he tried to make me take on a five-million-dollar house mortgage. After I turned him down, Nicholas was quick to buy Yvonne Myers, the campus belle, a villa that was worth eight million dollars. It was even paid in full. As he held the property deed, he told me, "The truth is, I'm super rich. I've been pretending to be poor just so I can test your integrity. "It's a shame that you never passed my test. I'm very disappointed in you, Elizabeth. Let's break up." I just smiled at him casually. Then, I walked away without hesitation. What a coincidence. I'm the daughter of the richest man in the country. I, too, had been pretending to be poor. Four years later, we bump into each other at the Fortune List Summit. At that time, Nicholas has just squeezed into the top 50 rank. He walks into the venue with Yvonne clinging to his arm. It's then he notices me. I'm wearing plain-looking clothes without any jewelry adorning me, and I happen to be holding a child. Thinking that I'm a nanny, Nicholas begins mocking me. "Wow, you really went all out just to steal one more glance at me, huh? I can't believe you're able to follow me all the way here. "You should learn to accept reality, though. I'm on the Fortune List, while you're working as someone else's nanny. The gap between us is far too wide, so you should stop dreaming already!" I just ignore Nicholas in favor of resenting my dad for making me attend this stupid event. After all, I've just managed to block out one full day just to spend time with my son, and yet I have to waste my precious time on this dumb event.

I, Gianna Johnston, am born into a family of prodigies. My dad, Henry Johnston, is a computer science professor from Hafford University. My mom, Naomi Liddell, is a medical professor at Starvard University. And my brother, George Johnston, is an international math olympiad champion. Meanwhile, I'm barely passing my math classes at school. George gets so mad at me that he immediately writes down three full sets of math exam questions and exclaims, "You're so dumb that you're nothing but an embarrassment to Mom and Dad and me! "Don't you even think about leaving the house and embarrassing us again without completing all these math questions!" Mom then forces a few pills straight down my throat. Those pills are one of her inventions, called "smart pills". However, she doesn't care that I'm choking so hard on them that my eyes roll to the back of my head. "Stop using excuses, saying that you're tired or sleepy. These pills will keep you up for 24 hours without sleep. That should be enough time for you to complete all those math problems!" Dad then turns on "Strict Mode" on the smart house system, Domi. He says to me, "And don't even think about escaping the house to look for help. I will lock the door and cut off every signal going in or coming out. If you don't finish your work in time, nobody will even care if you die here!" After that, the three of them leave me behind and head off for their vacation in Hervaii. While shutting the door behind them, however, the vase of flowers full of water suddenly crashed into Domi's control panel. I'm choking so hard on the pills that I feel asphyxiated. I keep banging my fists against the front door for help. However, Domi, who has now short-circuited, keeps repeating, "Please complete your math questions, Gianna. Study hard and be a good student. "Study hard and be a good student. "Study hard and be a good student." I grip the sheets of math problems in my hands in agony. Will Mom, Dad, and George finally be happy when they see that I'm giving up my life for this?