So Dumb Jokes

Travis "Punch" Mitchell is not just any wolf shifter. He should absolutely be illegal, everything about him is sculpted by the goddess herself. He is the lead enforcer of the Flying Death, one of the most deadly and notorious packs there is. Alpha Axel "Dozer" Dennison adopted him and knew immediately that Punch was no ordinary pup. It takes a killer to know a killer. As fate would have it, Alpha Dozer has a beautiful daughter nobody dares to go near. Punch however, is already closer than anyone else to the female. They are in a constant tit for tat with each other, neither ever winning and always walking away frustrated with the other. He's a lot of bark, but no bite when it comes to her. Hazel Dennison is a girl who knows what she wants but is extremely immature with how she gets it. Punch is not only her ultimate nemesis, he is her crush. Her dream mate who wants nothing to do with her. Little does she know he's the female he loves to hate. When she takes matters into her own hands and dates another Alpha's son, Punch can't just sit back. Unfortunately for him, pack business interferes in his love life and everything goes upside down. Excerpt: I find myself leaning against the wall by his room, grateful my parents’ room is downstairs. "Go to bed,” I hear, barely above a whisper. "No,” I say, defiantly, turning to face his door. Either he sensed my heartbeat out here or he smelled me. Maybe both. I can’t wait to have my wolf. This sucks. He needs to know I’m not backing down. I’m not a dumb pup, I more than know what I want. Him. However I can get him.

[ NOW ONGOING. ] ‘I can’t wait to make you mine, Lorelei.’ I read the text with a naughty smile. That’s Leo. The man I fell in love with via chat. I thought it was dumb to love someone you’ve never met, but look at me now. ‘I can’t wait for you to rip off my underwear.’ I texted and sent. Shivers ran down my spine while waiting for his response. Sexting through casual texts has become a thing I enjoy with him now. I bit my lips as I stared at our chat, anticipating. Just then, someone barged into my room. I put my phone down like I was doing something wrong. It was my mother. She has a worried look on her face. My father and stepmother walked in holding an envelope. I stared at them confused. “Pack your things and leave. You will get married on Thursday.” My father said cruelly. My brows creased and I tried to object but he held out the papers. “You don’t have a say in this Lorelei. I already sold you out.” What is he talking about? How can he arrange my own wedding? I knew I wasn’t my father’s favourite child, but this is next level hate. “Go and live with your husband. He bought you. And darling, there’s no turning back.” My stepmom added with a smile and threw the document on my bed. I picked it up and read the first page. ‘This contract seals the marriage between Ace Salvatore and Lorelei Stanley.’ Ace Salvatore? The man rumoured to be the devil himself.... My phone made a gentle ding and I looked at it. It was Leo. Tears cascaded my eyelids. How can I marry someone when I’m in love withsomeoneelse?

Warning! Explicit content! I smelt something different the moment I stepped foot in my room. It was dark and I couldn't see a thing, but something smelt different. I moved my hand to the wall, turning on the light switch. The entire place became bright immediately, and that was the moment my nightmare began, the moment my life changed forever. Electrifying shock tingled through me as I found a strange figure, seated in the middle of the room. My blood ran cold instantly. My legs tottered and my lungs stopped pumping air. His presence froze me at once, or was it his eyes that were as cold and dark as shadows carved in stones? They stared so coldly at me, cloaked in an eerie stillness that sent shivers down my spine. I had never seen a picture of the devil before. But this guy in front me looked like someone who must be very close to him. **** He had been stalking her for three days. He knew where she worked, where she lived and the dumb people she visited. She didn't have much friends, just a bunch of nuns who appeared in fúcking white garments. She smiled so brightly like she was the purest soul on earth. She acted so naive like she's never been fucked before. It didn't matter how much she pretended, how much she tried to hide her identity. She was his next target and he'd be treating her like one. He didn't become the King of the night for no reason; the renowned torturer. He'd torture her like he did to others, get the information he needed and put a sweet bullet in her head. She was not getting off his list.

I put my things away, and when I pretended to leave Fight Club, I was approached by the least expected person of all. William Walker himself. "Sage?" he asked in a soft voice. "Yes," I said in a modulated tone of voice so he wouldn't recognize my real voice, though I could bet he would never realize who I was. "I liked your fight; the way you knocked that guy out was fun," he said, and I realized that the really dumb guy was looking at me like I was candy. "It's a good thing you liked it; I guess you bet on me," I said sarcastically and turned to walk away and leave him talking to himself, but the very wayward one grabbed my arm. "Sorry about that," William said, and I glared at him. "I'd like to buy you a drink and maybe lunch. I know from my own experience that after a good fight, it makes you very hungry." I shook my head at his pathetic attempt at conquest and laughed. "Sorry, but I'm not dating anyone, so I hope you have an excellent evening," I said humorously and headed for the exit. I hoped the spoiled child of the pack had gotten the message. ___________ Snow was the outcast of the Ever Green Pack, every pack member kept a distance from her. When William Walker, the Alpha heir found the weak ‘Omega’ was his mate, he unhesitatingly decided to reject Snow when she turned 18. But William didn’t know that his secret admiration of a girl named Sage in the Fighter Club was another identity of Snow. William had a big interest in Sage and wanted her so much. Sage is strong and Snow is weak, the two different profiles of the same girl make things interesting. Which side of her could win William’s heart? What’s the truth of Snow’s early shift and her great power? Read the book to find the answer.

🔞🔞🔞 My name doesn't matter. My filthy urges do. I came home from work. The bedroom door was half open. My husband was there, pounding into some woman on our bed, his cock slamming in and out, deep and rough. I should have screamed. Instead my pussy clenched hard. I stood frozen, watching every thrust. My hand slipped under my skirt on its own. Fingers circled my clit as he fucked her right in front of me. He glanced over. “You like watching my cock stretch her?” I rubbed faster. “Don’t stop,” I whispered. Then I came shaking, eyes locked on him pounding her. *** 69 Dripping Fantasies is sixty-nine raw taboo stories. Wives catching husbands cheating and getting soaked instead of angry. Step-family secrets whispered in quiet. Glory holes that fill fast. Honeymoon wife swaps sparked by one dumb dare. Older rich men taking total control. Professors crossing every forbidden line. Husband’s best friends sneaking in. Strangers who follow, then fuck hard. Group nights in dark clubs. Cucks cleaning up every last drop. *** I’m on my knees. One thick cock buried deep in my throat, making me gag. The woman behind me squeezes my tits until it hurts so good. Her tongue between my ass, teasing, no cock has filled my pussy or ass yet. But I’m trembling, dripping, seconds from squirting everywhere. Two massive black cocks wait their turn, and her presence makes it filthier… hotter. I never knew I craved this so badly. *** No soft romance. Just dirty yeses where no should be. Sixty-nine stories. Sixty-nine surrenders. Read if you’re brave. These pages might leave you wet, jealous, horny… or secretly think of your own filthy fantasies when nobody’s watching. Reader discretion is strongly advised.

*** I was complete but useless, when I met him. He was my saviour that time. He enlightened me and gave meaning to my useless life. He became my happiness but at the same time my sadness, that turns out to be my nightmare. I thought that he will be my first and last, but I'm wrong 'coz it's just lust. I gave everything to him, my life, my body and also my heart but he broke it. I was so dumb and became useless again but the worst part is he made me feel so loved but left me afterwards. Nung unang kita niya sa akin para akong isang bimpo na madumi na kanyang ni linisan at inalagaan... But after that, things turns upside down... Nagising na lamang ako ng mag isa at doon ko lang din na realized na panandalian lamang ang lahat. Sana pala hindi na niya ako pinulot pa kung mas malala pala ang huling babagsakan ko. Ang O.A ba ng explanation ko? O.A na kung O.A. But, you can't blame me. Nasaktan ako, nag dusa at nag tiis sa sakit ng iniwan niya ko. Wala siyang tinira pati ata ang kaluluwa ko dala niya. He left me hanging while falling apart. Lahat ng saya noong na kasama ko siya ay na palitan ng isang milyon na sakit nung iwan niya ako. Para akong lobo na bigla na lang binitawan pag katapos pag sawaan. Yes. That's me, the EX- Wife of that monster Zeke Ethan Harmes. I want to know the reasons why he throw me? Why he left me dumbfounded? I need an explanation. I need his acceptable reason. I need him and I love him. Pero mas gusto alamin kung minahal niya ba ako o ginamit niya lang ako para sa yaman?

Nicholas Hunt loves testing me a lot. When I just graduated from university, he tried to make me take on a five-million-dollar house mortgage. After I turned him down, Nicholas was quick to buy Yvonne Myers, the campus belle, a villa that was worth eight million dollars. It was even paid in full. As he held the property deed, he told me, "The truth is, I'm super rich. I've been pretending to be poor just so I can test your integrity. "It's a shame that you never passed my test. I'm very disappointed in you, Elizabeth. Let's break up." I just smiled at him casually. Then, I walked away without hesitation. What a coincidence. I'm the daughter of the richest man in the country. I, too, had been pretending to be poor. Four years later, we bump into each other at the Fortune List Summit. At that time, Nicholas has just squeezed into the top 50 rank. He walks into the venue with Yvonne clinging to his arm. It's then he notices me. I'm wearing plain-looking clothes without any jewelry adorning me, and I happen to be holding a child. Thinking that I'm a nanny, Nicholas begins mocking me. "Wow, you really went all out just to steal one more glance at me, huh? I can't believe you're able to follow me all the way here. "You should learn to accept reality, though. I'm on the Fortune List, while you're working as someone else's nanny. The gap between us is far too wide, so you should stop dreaming already!" I just ignore Nicholas in favor of resenting my dad for making me attend this stupid event. After all, I've just managed to block out one full day just to spend time with my son, and yet I have to waste my precious time on this dumb event.

I, Gianna Johnston, am born into a family of prodigies. My dad, Henry Johnston, is a computer science professor from Hafford University. My mom, Naomi Liddell, is a medical professor at Starvard University. And my brother, George Johnston, is an international math olympiad champion. Meanwhile, I'm barely passing my math classes at school. George gets so mad at me that he immediately writes down three full sets of math exam questions and exclaims, "You're so dumb that you're nothing but an embarrassment to Mom and Dad and me! "Don't you even think about leaving the house and embarrassing us again without completing all these math questions!" Mom then forces a few pills straight down my throat. Those pills are one of her inventions, called "smart pills". However, she doesn't care that I'm choking so hard on them that my eyes roll to the back of my head. "Stop using excuses, saying that you're tired or sleepy. These pills will keep you up for 24 hours without sleep. That should be enough time for you to complete all those math problems!" Dad then turns on "Strict Mode" on the smart house system, Domi. He says to me, "And don't even think about escaping the house to look for help. I will lock the door and cut off every signal going in or coming out. If you don't finish your work in time, nobody will even care if you die here!" After that, the three of them leave me behind and head off for their vacation in Hervaii. While shutting the door behind them, however, the vase of flowers full of water suddenly crashed into Domi's control panel. I'm choking so hard on the pills that I feel asphyxiated. I keep banging my fists against the front door for help. However, Domi, who has now short-circuited, keeps repeating, "Please complete your math questions, Gianna. Study hard and be a good student. "Study hard and be a good student. "Study hard and be a good student." I grip the sheets of math problems in my hands in agony. Will Mom, Dad, and George finally be happy when they see that I'm giving up my life for this?