Squidward Drinking Novels & Stories

I took my parents-in-law, Edmund and Macy Hale, out to a restaurant. When it was time to pay, we ran into my husband’s female assistant, Vera Rhodes. Seeing Mrs. Hale packing up the leftover bouillabaisse she had been drinking, Vera marched over and slapped the takeaway bag out of her hands. The soup splashed all over Mrs. Hale in an instant. "If you can’t afford to eat here, then don’t come," she sneered. "Look at you, reeking of poverty. How do people like you deserve to be Mr. Orion Hale’s in-laws? Don’t embarrass him." I asked the restaurant to prepare a fresh portion of fish soup to go. Before anyone could respond, Vera slapped me to the ground. "This is a members-only restaurant. You’re using Mr. Hale’s card, aren’t you?" she mocked. "Can’t you earn your own money? You need his money to support your hillbilly parents?" Mr. Hale was so enraged that he was rushed to the hospital. I called Orion and asked him to come sign the surgery consent form. He laughed coldly. "Vera already told me everything. Your dad even needs to trick me into paying medical bills now? Has your whole family gone insane from poverty? "If you’re going to die, then hurry up and die. Just don’t die in front of me. It’s bad luck."

Everyone in the underworld knew Rosalie Thorne, the "Thorn Principessa" of the North. Wild, rebellious, notorious. Street racing, high-stakes gambling, guns, and drinking, she had mastered them all. The rose-and-thorn tattoo on the nape of her neck drove countless men wild. But what they didn't know was that for Rocco, the new mob boss of the South, a single sentence, "I prefer a more obedient woman," was all it took. At his word, I had the tattoo lasered off and swapped my leathers for long, conservative dresses. I am Rosalie. For five years, I hid my identity and played the porcelain doll Rocco wanted. Until the night he eliminated all his rivals and was crowned the new Don of the South. That was when he let his men bow to another woman, hailing her as their "Donna." I watched Rocco. The same hands that had just executed a traitor were now gently placing a pair of red high heels on the feet of his adoptive sister, Vivian. "Rosalie, she has a temper. She'll make a scene if she doesn't get the title." "You're the good one, the obedient one. Just let her have this." That day, I walked straight out into the rain and never looked back. I was never truly obedient. I just made myself smaller for him. My family had already chosen a husband for me. They had been waiting five years, just for me to say yes.

When I stand in the sales office and watch my best friend beat me to purchasing the foreclosed property I have my eye on, I finally know for sure that she has been reborn too. In my previous life, both my best friend and I had some savings. She invested all her money in the stock market, while I decided to buy a house to live in. Since I didn't have much savings, I ended up buying a foreclosed property where a murder had taken place. But inside the ceiling cavity, I discovered a safe containing ten million dollars in cash and over a dozen gold bars. Meanwhile, my best friend's money was trapped in the stock market. She lost everything and even ended up in debt. When she watched me move into a villa, drive luxury cars, and spend money extravagantly every day, my best friend flew into a rage. She lured me to a highway where an oncoming freight truck killed me. After my death, my soul floated in the air as I watched her and my boyfriend deceive the police together. They claimed I had been drinking and ignored traffic rules, rushing onto the highway to my own death. When I open my eyes again, I find myself back on the day I'm supposed to buy the foreclosed property.

While she’s at home preparing dinner for him, he’s out on dates. While she’s drinking with men to secure a business deal for him, he’s announcing his single status to boost his stock. When she drags herself to the hospital with a high fever, he’s there at the same hospital, caring for René—his mistress. She loved him for ten years, gave everything she had, and did everything she could for him. She never believed their love could die. Yet, it did. She doesn’t hate him; she’s simply exhausted, so she decides to leave. Only then does she find a firm chest and a warm embrace that had been waiting for her all along. With her first taste of true love, she realizes how much time she wasted with her ex, a man who never truly loved her. When he comes home one day, he’s shocked to find the woman who had always been there for him is gone. Regret floods him, and he chases after her, only to see another man by her side, taking sacred vows with her, their hands intertwined. In that moment, he realizes he’s lost the innocent girl who once loved him—the most precious treasure he ever had. And now, she’s gone forever.

At an industry party, my award-winning actress wife lost a game. Instead of taking the drinking penalty, she chose to French kiss her childhood sweetheart for three minutes. By the end of it, both of them were flushed, and Mira Lane's blouse had been stripped down to nothing but a camisole. If there had not been other people in the room, I believe they would have taken that kiss even further. Julian Reed sent me the livestream himself. The next day, Mira came to my office to collect her monthly allowance. Instead, she found my office full of young, beautiful women, with one long-legged beauty sitting directly on my lap. She stomped her foot in anger. "Get these sluts out of here!" I sneered and showed her the livestream I had saved. "I don't think they're any cheaper than you." Her face flushed as she tried to explain. "That was just part of the game. When I'm acting, I kiss other men too, and you never say anything. Why is he different?" I reached out and pinched the thigh of the woman sitting on my lap. "I'll give you one choice. Cut Julian off right now, or I'll take all these lovely girls home and show them a good time." "Think carefully before you choose."

Stanley Porter, my wife Jessica Evans’ close male friend, and I are both competing to be the next fire captain. In my first lifetime, I was chosen by a unanimous vote. On my very first night on duty as captain, Jessica came over to the fire station to celebrate with me. Sticking to my duties as captain, I didn't touch a single drop of alcohol. Yet, after drinking the chicken soup Jessica gave me, I fell into a deep sleep. That night, a massive fire broke out in the old district, resulting in the deaths of 58 people. Because I missed the station's alarm, I was accused of dereliction of duty and labeled as the main person responsible for the tragedy. The enraged families of the victims ended up beating me to death. In my second lifetime, I withdrew my name from the selection for captain. I handed the badge over to Stanley instead, saying, "You're better suited to be captain than I am." I'd assumed that this was enough to ensure that the fire couldn't be pinned on me. Yet, when the authorities looked into the fire, they ended up seeing me appear in the security footage from where the fire began. Everyone assumed I'd deliberately started the fire to get back at Stanley out of jealousy for losing out on the captain position. I now open my eyes again to live my third life. I watch as Stanley excitedly gives his speech on the podium after being made the captain. This time around, I submit a request for annual leave and take a cab straight to the airport.

The moon goddess hosted a feast on a full moon night and an alpha was born on that night. Drunk to stupor from all the drinking at the feast, the moon goddess makes a blunder and mates the alpha with a human. It's irreversible because it has been scripted in their destiny and they'll be mated for eternity no matter how many times they are reborn. Alpha Dominic, the alpha that was mated to a human grows up thirty years later still without a mate so his father consults a priest and he's told of his unknown destiny; being mated to a human. His father is horrified but Dominic's happy to finally know he has a mate after so many years. Samantha Cosgrove, a mate to the alpha but has no idea about it, is a married woman and a baker that owns a bakery in the city. She finds out her husband's cheating on her and files a divorce immediately. With her alimony and her savings, she moves elsewhere to start afresh. Unknown to her, her bakery is just at the outskirts of alpha Dominic's pack.  Fate brings them to meet each other and alpha Dominic knows he's met his mate once he sees her. He makes advances towards her and Sparks fly; she's instantly drawn to him too. Fate seems to test their bond though on several occasions and we're left to wonder if Samantha will accept Dominic for who he is, if she will survive being the mate to a werewolf or if they'll eventually end up together happily despite all odds.

I always knew that I had to rule. It was written in my blood, as well as my father’s. And my great grandfather. For centuries, my family has been responsible for the monarchy of vampires. Our powers allowed us to drink human blood and then eliminate that memory. In fact, at the time of biting them, we could see some memories of that human. The most relevant of their life. Humans would only wake up the next day in their bed, with a mosquito bite on their neck, not remembering and without even suspecting anything. Although of course, exceptions existed. Wolves had their mates, the sorcerers their connections, and even the sirens had their other half. We were not different, not at all. For each existing vampire, there was a special blood. The donor with only a drop of blood that could keep us active and strong for weeks. In most cases, those people became a couple of vampires. However, not in my family. The lineage should remain pure, so even if I managed to find my donor, as we used to call them, I could only keep it as a lover. Did I want to be a monarch vampire? Of course not. Did I have another option? Of course not. I should not worry about getting my donor, because the statistics of finding them were so small, that even some vampires believed that it was a myth. The only way to find that special blood was drinking from it. And it was impossible to try the blood of all the humans of the world. So many didn’t bother looking for it. Me included. However, I did not expect to meet her in a somewhat peculiar situation.

After the tragic death of her parents when she was ten, Lolly Roberts is left at the mercy of her cruel, ambitious stepmother and conniving stepsisters who abuse her relentlessly. From a young age, she begins to cultivate a plan to escape home: she’d marry her long-term boyfriend on her eighteenth birthday so they'd run away together to Europe. But when she discovers her boyfriend cheating on her with her stepsisters on her wedding day, Lolly realizes she’ll always be a slave to her step-family. Brokenhearted and defeated, she goes on a long binge drinking and loses her virginity with the first mysterious stranger she finds. One year later, that stranger has become one of the most powerful men in town. Roman Stone is a devil in Armani suits. Savage and merciless, he has built his empire on the backs of his enemies and he does not intend to stop. He has only one weakness: He suffers a neurological condition – prosopagnosia – that makes it impossible for him to remember faces after twenty-four hours. Until he meets Lolly. The one face he can never forget! For a man who loves to be in control, love is a messy business and a useless venture he has no need for, but he can’t stop thinking about her and the night they spent together. Dangerously obsessive, he will not let go until he owns her completely. Lolly wants revenge against her step-family and Roman is the only one who can give her what she wants. Under one condition: she must remain his property!

My best friend, Sabrina Reeves, hates children. She wants a child of her own, but she doesn't want to give birth to her own child. So, she sought me out and asked me to help give birth to a child for her. She even claimed that her child would be my child, and that they'd take care of me when I grew old. I thought she was crazy. Also, I warned her that it was illegal to find a surrogate mother in our country. Out of fury, Sabrina cut off all ties with me and called me a shameless wretch. "It's just giving birth to a child! I can do that too!" But Sabrina started smoking, drinking, and bar-hopping a lot. She could never get pregnant no matter what. After that, her husband brought his mistress and illegitimate child home before kicking Sabrina out. "Even a hen is capable of laying eggs! I've married you for so long, yet you can't even get pregnant! You really are a loser! "I never said anything about you wanting your best friend to give birth to my child! But you can't even get that done! Isn't this all your fault?" Sabrina pinned the blame on me. She slashed my stomach open repeatedly with a blade. Just like that, I died from the sheer pain. When I open my eyes again, I've returned to the day Sabrina asks me to help give birth to a child for her.