Stand Up Comedy Teks Singkat

"You left these in my rover," he stated, shoving my panties into my hand. "Thought I should return them to you." "Do you want a thank you?" I snapped, quickly tucking the fabric into my pocket before any of my crew could see.*****Theodora Walker never claimed to be perfect. Especially when it came to her love life. The ex-military gunslinger made a name for herself as a galactic freelancer. Handling jobs from hunting down monsters to finding missing girls on her spaceship, Peacemaker, with her closest friends and the best damn crew she could ever want.As the Captain, she never expected to catch feelings for her mechanic, Mads, and tried to overcorrect it by having a one-night stand with a stranger.Now faced with more complications than she can handle she has to find a way to navigate her heart while also navigating the galaxy.The Captain, the Mechanic and the One Night Stand is created by Claire Wilkins, an eGlobal Creative Publishing signed author.

Everyone in Vallermoore knew I was Cole Mitchell and Finn Archer's most treasured princess. At 12, Cole saved me from my abusive dad's grip and gave me a second shot at life. He vowed to protect me always. At 13, Finn rented out an entire amusement park for my birthday and whispered that guarding my smile was his mission for life. Now I was 23, and they locked me in a pitch-black, freezing attic for three winter days. As I slowly lost consciousness, they were busy fawning over Zoey Hart, their long-lost childhood friend. "Everything you have is mine, so it's time to give it back." After hearing what Zoey said, I left without making a scene or shedding a single tear. However, for years after, they tore the city apart and tried to find me like mad.

Sa loob ng walong taon, inakala ni Lizzy na ang fiancé niyang si Jarren ang katuparan ng kanyang mga pangarap—isang perpektong kasal at masayang pamilya. Ngunit ang masakit na katotohanan ay tumambad sa kanya: si Jarren, ang lalaking minahal niya, ay may relasyon sa iba... at ang kabit nito ay hindi lamang basta kung sino, kundi ang sekretarya niya. Hindi na tumingin pa si Lizzy sa nakaraan. Sa halip, pinili niyang balikan ang dignidad niya at lumakad palayo sa kanyang engagement. Sa gitna ng gulo at kahihiyan, pumasok sa kanyang buhay ang isang bagong mukha—si Lysander Sanchez, ang misteryosong uncle ni Jarren na puno ng karisma at lihim na intensyon. Habang bumabawi si Lizzy mula sa sakit ng pagtataksil, matutuklasan niya na ang kanyang landas ay puno ng panibagong hamon, tukso, at pagkakataon para sa tunay na pagmamahal. Magagawa kaya niyang ipaglaban ang kanyang kalayaan at puso, o muli siyang masasaktan sa gitna ng isang mas komplikadong mundo?

"Kung pananagutan molang ako dahil nabuntis moku wag munang ituloy, Dahil pareho lang tayong masasaktan, Ikukulong mo yung sarili mo sakin dahil nabuntis mulang ako! Kahit hindi moku mahal? At ayukong mangyari yun!" -MJ. Dahil sa isang pagkakamali ni MJ na hindi naman nya sinasadya napa aga syang nabuntis sa kanyang professor. Ang pagkakamaling iyon ba ay kanyang pinagsisisihan o isang blessing dahil mahal sya ng taong nakabuntis sa kanya? Kung ikaw ang nasa posisyon nya gugustuhin moba? Paano kung ang pagkaka maling iyon ay maging sanhi ng paghinto nya sa pag-aaral? Matatanggap ba iyon ng pamilya nya? Susuportahan ba sya o mas gugustuhin nilang ipalaglag ang batang dinadala nito upang ang kahihiyan na idinulot nya sa pamilyang meron sya ay hindi madungisan.

The night I find out I'm pregnant, my family's villa suddenly goes up in flames. I endure the suffocating smoke and run the risk of being disfigured as I run to my son's bedroom. However, it's empty. Just then, I hear his excited exclamations outside the window. "Monica, you look so cool when putting out fires! I bet you'll get first place in this upcoming Firefighter Challenge!" I'm about to head downstairs to lecture him when a wall collapses and crushes me. As I drift in and out of consciousness, I hear my stern, stoic husband praise Monica Sloan for her courage. If I'm guessing correctly, my husband and son have started this fire to please her. I stare at the door, which is so close and yet so far. I send out one final text before dying of asphyxiation.

Nagkaroon ng aksidenteng one-night stand sina Andrew Sandoval at Hanna Williams limang taon na ang nakalilipas, at hindi makalimutan ni Andrew ang katawan ni Hanna. Hindi niya maabot si Hanna dahil sa kaguluhan ng pamilya na dulot ng biglaang pagkamatay ng kanyang ama. Pagkalipas ng limang taon, kinuha ni Andrew ang negosyo ng pamilya at natagpuan si Hanna, na baon sa utang sa pagsusugal ng kanyang ina. Iniligtas siya ni Andrew at tinulungan siyang magbayad ng pera, na naging may utang kay Hanna. Pinakiusapan niya itong maging manliligaw ngunit tumanggi ito dahil may nobyo ito. Nakipagpustahan si Andrew kay Hanna na iiwan siya ng kanyang kasintahan para sa pera, at sa kanyang pagtataka, iniwan siya ng kanyang kasintahan para sa pera. Single siya pero hindi pumayag na maging manliligaw ni Andrew. Lalo siyang kinaiinisan dahil ginulo nito ang kanyang mapayapang buhay.

Roseline's stomach turned and her fist clenched tightly around the handle of the big travel box beside her. She heard the clanging sound of the metallic head of Thompson's belt meeting the ground. Next, quite footsteps. Then, Thompson appeared in her view, like a ghost she didn't believe existed. He was completely bare, with his hairy chest rising and falling slowly, his cock shooting out in front like a gun ready to be fired, his balls bloated from desire, swinging from side to side as he walked closer to bed. Roseline's feet stuck to the ground and her eyes refused to blink as they looked on. "That's it, my boy. Hmm! I like what I see", the red hair gasped, rolling her eyes longingly at Thompson. As Thompson climbed unto the bed, his eyes totally locked in hers, she drew her breasts closer him, then, proceeded to rock the big pumpkins against the flushed skin of his face. "You like them?", she asked, moaning lightly. Thompson paused. Then, in a defiant move of uncontrollable desire, dug his chin into her breasts, burying his entire face in them. "Ouch", she gasped, then broke into a weak laugh, pushing his head more into her chest. "The damn bra", she spoke again, twisting uncomfortably as she threw her hands behind her to unhook the material. But Thompson caught her hands. Without words, his head still hidden in her cleavage, he slowly returned her hands to his head. Obliging to his silent command, she cackled loudly, pressing her chest even more into his face and then, with her tongue, glided across his neck and ears hungrily. Roseline froze. She wanted to scream but in that moment, she forgot how to.

Pinagkaisahan si Audrey Santillan ng kanyang kapatid. Sa araw ng kanyang kaarawan ay inakala niyang ang kanyang kasintahan ang napagbigyan ng ng sarili ngunit estranghero pala ito. Makalipas ang limang taon, gamit ang bagong pangalan, bumalik siya upang ipaghiganti ang nangyari sa kanila ng kanyang kawawang sanggol. Iyon ay ang pakasalan si Marco Montezides, ang lalaking imbalido ngunit isa sa pinakamayamang lalaki sa bansa. Ito rin ang half-brother ng kanyang dating kasintahang si Julian Montezides. Paano kung sa kagustuhan niyang makaganti, mayroon siyang mga matutuklasang hindi karaniwan? Lalong-lalo na sa isang misteryosong bilyonaro.

My bride went missing on the night of our big day but woke up in my brother's room the next day. My parents persuaded me to ignore it for the sake of fame but scolded my wife as an easy girl. Angrily, I moved out of the villa with my wife. Soon after, my wife had a miscarriage and suffered from depression due to gossip. She jumped off from the top floor in front of me. Desperately, I followed her. Opening my eyes again, I found myself back to the time when the wedding ended.

"Father, I accept the marriage alliance with the Blackwood Pack." Silence stretched on his end of the link before he finally replied, "Caterina, are you certain?" "I am." I didn't tell him the real reason. Last night, a heart-shattering agony ripped through our Mate Bond, through that damned bond, I saw everything— My mate, Alpha Rocco, was in the cabin on his private hunting grounds, pinning his childhood sweetheart, Scarlett, against the wall and kissing her with a desperate frenzy. I confronted Scarlett directly at the pack meeting, a flicker of triumph flashed in her eyes before she feigned innocence. "Caterina, I have no idea what you're talking about." Just then, Rocco's voice boomed through the open mind-link, echoing in the minds of everyone present. "Caterina, as the Luna of the pack, you shouldn’t cause a scene like this. Scarlett is just a friend. " In that moment, my heart died completely. He was my Alpha, my husband—the man I had spent years helping rise to power. I severed my mind-link with Rocco. The pain of the forced disconnection was so intense I could barely stand, but I straightened my spine and sent my reply. "I'll be home in two weeks." Go home and marry the most powerful Alpha in North America. They say he is cold and ruthless, unmoved by any she-wolf. Perfect. I don't need love. I just need an Alpha strong enough to help me secure the Silver Moon Pack. And as for Rocco? The Moon Goddess gave us a destiny, and he shattered it with his own hands. Now, I will seize my own.