Stupid Funny Quotes Novels & Stories

When I stumbled into a Mafia run club seeking a job, I was looking for protection. Little did I know I’d need protection from him. Damian was exactly the kind of danger I was trying to avoid. He was gorgeous as sin with an accent hotter than Ronan, but that’s where the charm ended. He was also cynical, cold, and downright cranky. So, you could imagine my surprise when he gave me a proposition to marry him or lose my life. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I’ve learned to do what’s necessary to survive in this world, and that includes marrying a mobster. Regardless of what he might say, it’s only temporary. It’s not like I’m going to fall for him, because that would be stupid, right?

Harmonica Saint is terrified of being unable to make friends. Coupled with her crippling social anxiety, and her fear of moving away from her family to a new place for college, she is afraid she'd have no friends. But surprisingly on the first day, someone wants to be her friend…. It is just that this person is Rhett Lockhart, littered with tattoos and mysterious beyond compare, Harmony has a bad feeling about this friendship. After all, friends don't give other friends hickeys on their necks. Or do they? "So you thought our friendship was over because of that? Funny baby girl, what makes you think I'll let you go….. Just like that?" He said the words so gently as he always spoke, but it was his eyes that gave him away, those pitch-black eyes were raging with all kinds of intense emotion, each promising to swallow her whole.

To the outside world, Marvelon is just another college student. He even plays the role well enough to convince himself of this. Little did he know, the world depends on him to become the one thing he's scared of the most: himself. He can hardly keep his special abilities under control. And, to make matters worse, he now has to fend for a naive princess. He can sniff the disaster from a mile away. When Aqualia is plucked from her home and into a new world, she's forced to use the skill of adaptation. Funny enough, the new world and its inhabitants are intriguing. Not to mention its hidden treasure. Who would have thought she'd be craving things of this world? No one! When love comes knocking, they have no other choice but to answer. ️ Warning: This novel contains mature language and sexual contents

“Darlene Roberts, you're under arrest for the death of George Martins.”I look up with misty eyes only to see a bunch of cops, guns blazing and aimed at me. Funny enough, I don't even freeze neither do I panic. My attention goes back to my ex lover whose limp body is still warm with blood oozing from his forehead and chest. His shirt is torn and his big eyes are staring blankly at me. I've managed to help shut his mouth which was agape and his twisted lips. It seems he had put up one hell of a struggle before he gave up the ghost.“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you in the court of law.Does the cop mean what he has just said? I mean, I'm not the murderer here. I rushed here to help as soon as I could!

Valentine lived with her abuser—her own father. Hence, she started to become responsible and independent at such a young age. With too many goals set in mind, she ended up seeing love as something stupid and a complete waste of time. Who would have known what her own life has in store for her? Her father got sent to the hospital, suffering a condition which she concluded was the consequence he needed to face after abusing her for so many years. A handsome man—her high school bully—appeared in the scene; Valentine was forced to wed him, bound by a contract in exchange for his financial support to pay the hospital bills for her father's treatments. He loved her; she hated him. Will they be able to stay together until their marriage contract ends? How will they face their own problems now that they're married but with no mutual feelings attached?

"You died four days ago. You were buried yesterday. That's fast healing, even for us," Clara explained. "Us?" Clara smiled. "You have risen from the dead and have healed all your wounds. You have no pulse. You do not breathe, and we've been giving you blood so that you can survive. And the last thing you can remember is a tingling in your neck before you died." She clasped her hands together. "I've read your personnel file, Shamira. I know you're not stupid, even if your former bosses thought you were. You can figure this --" "Vampire? You're kidding, right? You have to --" "Wanna go ahead and say 'But there's no such thing as vampires' so we can get that out of the way?" "There's no such thing as vampires!"

"I want to marry you Tanvi!" Rudra declared in his authoritative tone making Tanvi frown in disbelief. "But I don't want to marry you, Mr.Rudra!" She said, equally bold, not knowing the consequences of her stupid outburst. Listening to that, the last ounce of patience he had collapsed, his gaze turned dark, and he enunciated each word in the cruelest way by breaking her tiny heart, "I'm not requesting you. You will be mine, either with your will or not." Ishaan Rudra Chauhan, the CEO of The Chauhan group of Companies is the epitome of domination and undeniable power. Just a glimpse of him is enough for people to shudder in fear. When he faces Tanvi Siara Agarwal, whose aura is full of confidence, while her bright eyes hide a glimmer of boldness and inevitable charm, he's intrigued, and the desire to possess her imprinted in his mind.

She had been in love with him for practically all her life, but he only saw her as his little sister. She could only hope that he would one day look at her the way she wanted him to. She thought those dreams had come true after a passionate night together, only for him to accuse her of the most horrible and tell her he wants nothing to do with her. Heartbroken, she gathered the rest of her pride and left to reclaim her self-worth. Unknowingly, she had left with the CEO's heart as he frantically searched for her, wanting to make things right. **** “Come back to me, princess. And I'll love you the way you deserve.” I let out a laugh. “I'm sorry, big brother. I am no longer that stupid girl who had a crush on you.”

Just because of a fight for a man, Nelly wants to kill Celine just to get Ron, Celine's boyfriend. After killing Celine, Nelly happily returned to meet Ron. She accidentally created a meeting for Celine and Saint, the most dangerous man in the world. Saint accidentally saves Celine's life and brings her home. Saint thinks Celine is a poor and stupid woman, so he wants to take Celine's heart as a replacement for his heart-diseased sister. After Celine woke up, she knew the Saint's true purpose and escaped. After she escaped, she discovered Nelly was married to Ron. Celine's anger invaded her brain, she looked at Saint and said. “Saint, I will give my heart to your sister. However, you must agree to one of my requests, you must protect me absolutely, because I want revenge."

“I, Riccardo Saviano, future Alpha of the Grey Shadow Moon Pack, reject you, Artemisia Guerrieri, Daughter of Alpha Franco of the Blood Moon Pack, as my mate and future Luna.” One single sentence. One stupid single sentence was all it took to disintegrate my life. And the day of my birthday, on which this sentence was audaciously uttered to me, I lost the love of my life, my future mate, and my wolf, all at once. As I’m still assembling the pieces of my shattered heart years later, there they come. Like lightning out of a crystal blue sky. My Mates. But wait… If I am mated to triplets, how come I’m about to be mated to 5 gorgeous men? *** TW: explicit and foul language; spicy content; explicit sex scenes *** Book 1 : When They Touch Me - Completed Book 2 : Their Burning Touch on my Skin (Sequel) - Ongoing