Novel & Cerita Talk To Myself

Nice one Dan… Last night’s argument was now a constant reminder until these little purple marks and the tenderness that came along with them disappeared. My morning routine consisted of a hot shower to awaken my senses and a conversation with… myself. Not because I am insane… Well, not that I think I am, but more so I could give myself a pep talk, you know, to try and boost my confidence, or to answer an old argument with some witty comments that I wish I had said, or, even to practice my speech for my Prime Minister election… Yes, we have all been there… Today’s self-talk was different though. It was a conversation with an imaginary person and one where I explained my entrapment and why it

he says. The words aren’t confrontational, but there’s something underneath them. Concern, maybe. Or curiosity. “It was nothing,” I say lightly. “Just… talking to myself.” Jake’s brows lift, but Leo’s expression doesn’t change at all. “He doesn’t believe you,” the voice whispers. I ignore it. “People do that, you know,” I add quickly. “It’s perfectly normal behaviour.” Jake scratches the back of his neck. “I talk to myself sometimes,” he admits.

I muttered repeatedly. "It's not real." I whispered. "I won't be deceived." I reassured myself. Anyone listening to me talking to myself, would have thought I was crazy. I was feeling restless, like I needed to be alone. I desired solitude. I made up my mind to go home. ****

“Deal.” We walked back toward the drier sand and sat down, the ocean breeze cooling my skin. I hugged my knees, watching the waves crash endlessly. “So,” he said, nudging me lightly with his shoulder, “tell me something no one knows about you.” I hesitated. “Something small,” he added quickly. “Doesn’t have to be deep.” “I...uhm...i talk to myself when I’m nervous,” I said finally. He grinned. “That’s it?”

The hallway felt too bright, too normal, for what her mind was doing. What if he really is Pressure? The thought kept looping, tugging at every nerve. The tattoo. The build. The voice different just a bit , but not different enough. By the time she reached the elevator, she already had her phone out. She opened the app—the one she and Pressure always used to call. Unavailable. She tried again. Still unavailable. A shaky breath left her. Okay. Not today. Let it go, Chelle. Just… let it go. She shoved her phone into her bag and walked toward the mall, focusing on anything but the buzzing in her head.

Weren't you the one who said to move on! I said move on to someone that can still be compared to Ted and have enough points. That guy is zero in everything. What do you see in him? What do you see in a serial killer like Ted!… I snapped. Idiot, I'm your subconscious. That useless question is meant for you, not me or rather for that softie in your chest. Why am I even talking to you! Get lost! Oops, your coffee overflowed… She sniggered. I snapped out of it and whimpered at the mess I created. So, I talk to myself, a lot. As in, lot, lot. Is that normal? No. Do I care? As if.

I had my misgivings about them initially but now I know they belong together I know they will be good together They just need to figure that out I wish they could figure it out by themselves But here we are I’m just asking you to trust me on this one Jameson “I need to talk to Oliver. He’s the only one that can promise me that he won’t fuck this up.” I say sitting in the back of my Uber. The driver looks back at me in question. “I’m talking to myself.” I say to him and he looks at me even more confused. “Are you okay?” He asks looking at me in the review mirror. “Yeah I’m good. I do this sometimes.” I say and he laughs nervously. “I talk out loud when I have something important I need to sol

“They aren’t but that doesn’t mean that you should live in silence, you have to talk to me Azy, you can’t…” I straightened up, wiping the tears off my face, “I am fine… I am fine,” It sounded more like I was trying to convince myself more than I was trying to convince her. “Are you telling me that, or are you telling yourself?” she asked. Both? Can’t I do both? Maybe if I convince you hard enough, I can finally find a way to convince myself too.

Which, apparently, wasn’t enough. I stir my coffee absentmindedly, though the sugar dissolved minutes ago. “I didn’t do anything wrong,” I mutter under my breath. A woman at the next table glances at me briefly. I give her a tight smile. Right. Talking to myself in public. Very normal behavior. But I mean it. I do. Mostly. The problem is that there’s always that other voice. The one that doesn’t let things settle neatly. It creeps in when I’m not paying attention. When I’m distracted, when I’m mid sip, mid thought, mid anything.

But until now the letter has not reached me. I am happy and hope that the letter does not happen because I want to be selfish. I still enjoy it. He's the most meaningful human in my life. The human I love half to death. Young man, the first introduction that didn't wear when remembered. But it was an awe-inspiring start for me. The human who stirred up my emotions, and until now. He's the one who can mix up my feelings the most. I could be happy about it, sad about it, cry about it, be moved by it, and hurt. And now I'm hurt and miss him. I just realized, now is the time to go to school. Later I looked in the mirror and talked to myself in front of the mirror. A habit that is hard to break.