Teks Stand Up Comedy Lucu Bikin Ngakak

Waking up hungover next to my arch-nemesis – the city's most notorious fuckboy? Worst. Morning. Ever. I handled the walk of shame with icy dignity, but fate had a bigger curveball: one month later, two pink lines. My baby. My rules. His involvement? Zero. My flawless plan hit a snag when morning sickness ambushed me in the office restroom. He walked in. His eyes locked onto my still-flat stomach, darkening with something dangerous. Before I could blink, he had me pinned against the cold tile wall. "Who's the father?" he growled. I met his glare with a frosty smirk. "Wouldn't you like to know? Definitely not you." Then it happened: a hot tear hit my neck. His voice cracked, raw and desperate. "Don't... don't leave me. Please." Me: ...Dude. Seriously? THIS IS YOURS!

My name is Ivy Lawson. At 3:00 am, I get a call from Christina McSpire, a parent of one of my students. "Hello, Ms. Lawson, I noticed Zoe only spent five dollars on her meal yesterday. Did she not eat any meat?" she asks. Pushing through my exhaustion, I reply, "Don't worry, Mrs. Street. I'll check on it tomorrow." Another half hour goes by, and she calls again. "It's supposed to rain tomorrow. Can you remind Zoe to bring an umbrella?" I can hardly keep my eyes open. "Got it," I reply absentmindedly. A few minutes later, my phone rings once more. "Please make sure Zoe brushes her teeth for three minutes. It's also important that she scrubs each side of her face at least three times." Suppressing my frustration, I calmly respond, "Zoe is in her senior year of high school. I'm sure she's capable of taking care of herself." I expect that to be the end of it, but when I wake up, my silenced phone shows over a hundred missed calls.

The day my husband left the country on a business trip with his assistant, I learned—by sheer accident—that his archenemy was plotting revenge overseas. Without a second thought, I raced to the airport and stopped him from boarding the plane. But his assistant went ahead, alone. And over there, she was killed brutally. Not a trace of her remains was ever found. When my husband received the news, he fell apart. Wracked with guilt, eaten alive by remorse, he spiraled into a relentless, violent mania. In the past three years, I'd been in and out of hospitals more times than I could count because of him. And this time, he pushed me so far—I lost our child. Then I overheard a conversation between him and his secretary. "Sir, Casey is still alive. Why keep pretending you're sick? Aren't you afraid your wife will find out and leave you?" "Leave me? What right does she have to be angry?" He laughed coldly. "If she hadn't stopped me from going abroad, Casey would've never been lured away by that bastard. Everything Linda's suffering now—she brought it on herself."

‘’Damn, they sent a perfect b***h,’’ he spoke while he loosen his tie. The Aphrodisiac was already taking a very strong effect on Daniel, the wholesome billionaire, and he couldn’t hold himself back anymore. ‘’You invited me with your open legs. I will make sure to satisfy you,’’ he spoke in his raspy seductive voice and climbed over her. Grabbing her exposed milky white leg, he started moving his hand upwards from her thigh, creasing her soft skin, giving goosebumps to her. She felt a tingling sensation she never felt before. His eyes locked on her blossom, which was rising and falling with her heavy breaths. He placed his lips on her neck, giving her a nice love bite, making her bite her lips to stop that shameful moan escaping her mouth.

Aniah Carlotta Quapenco went home with the hope that she will have a peaceful and relaxing vacation but it turns out that she will have a task. After finding out that her sister is pregnant after a one-night stand with someone from Heighberg University, she did not hesitate to start The OPERATION MAHANAP ANG NAKABUNTIS KAY INAH with the goal of finding the man who impregnated her sister. But what will happen if during her operation she will be distracted by someone and will also end with Just a One Night Stand?

Captured by Alpha Raven, Knight the rogue seemed to be enjoying the time spent in the cell more than anyone, and on that same night, Alpha Raven was poisoned with a strong drug? Beaten up, Knight was the one on the mission of taming the Alpha. (Dark romance warning)

Bilang isang bastardang anak, nagsumikap si Mia para kilalanin at tanggapin siya ng matagumpay na negosyanteng nagmamay-ari ng Blacksmith Hotels na si Vincent Ferrer, ang amang kaniyang tinitingala. Hindi siya nabigo at dumating rin ang araw na sa wakas ay kinilala siya ni Vincent bilang anak nito. Kinilala rin nito ang kaniyang talino sa larangan ng negosyo at hinirang siya bilang bagong CEO ng Blacksmith Hotels. Sa parehong araw, ay inalok siya ng kasal ng kaniyang nobyong si Oliver. All at once, she had it all. But all at once, she lost them... Nagkaroon ng malaking problema ang Blacksmith Hotels, at siya ang sinisi ng kaniyang ama. He threatened to remove her from her position, ngunit kusa siyang nagbitiw. On the same day, she discovered that Oliver and her half-sister, Natalia, were cheating on her. Pumunta siya sa isang bar para uminom ng alak at pansamantalang makalimot. Just a few shots, and she got dizzy. Isang estranghero ang umupo sa tabi niya at um-order ng whisky. She could tell that he was hot even with her eyes half-shut. As he was about to drink his whiskey, she snatched the glass from him and drank it right away. The next thing she knew, she found herself in the stranger's bed. In his arms, she went straight from a tough, independent woman to a damsel in distress. She let down her walls, and she has given him what's left of her— her virginity! Was it just a one-night stand? Or has she found her knight in shining armor?

WARNING: MATURE CONTENT For Jade Hart, there are no black or white when it comes to saving the life of her high school sweetheart. She goes as far as selling her body for his sake but what happens when it all blows up in her face? A night with the infamous Max Anderson is all it takes for Jade's life to spiral out of control. Betrayal, Passion, Lust, Love; how will Jade and Max deal with these emotions and desires, especially when they have three little angels between them?

I'm hospitalized after a car accident that nearly costs me my leg. Meanwhile, my fiancé is too busy in the room next door taking care of his first love. She's only faking a sprained ankle. From that same room, I hear Johan Rivera's mocking voice. "Raelyn? She's just a pawn the old man picked for a political marriage. She's not even good enough to be your stand-in." In that moment, something in me finally breaks. I watch the news coverage of a rising business star who's surrounded by reporters and flashing cameras. He's also my childhood friend who has pursued me for ten years. I calmly send him a message. "Christian, does your offer for a contract marriage still stand?"

Twisting her hands backward, he took her till the walls. "You did'nt leave till now?" That man questions her as he leaned to her face. "Mmm...... Mmmmm....... Please leave my hand...... Leave it..." "I won't listen to you once today. I gave you once chance." He said coming close to her in a low and bossy tone. Anna smelled the strong smell of wine. It was obvious that he was more drunk than Anna. She could strongly feel his warm breaths across her face. Her start started to beat more faster than before. "But see.... You came back to me.... Now even if you want to leave me, I won't let you leave me." Anna tried hard to leave from his grip but he pulled her towards him. He kept his lips on her lips. By this sudden kiss Anna's eyes widened. She did'nt expect something like this. That man started to kiss her wildly. She started to suffocate by his wild kiss. She tried to free herself from him but was unsuccessful. He stopped for a moment and then took her face in between his hands. Both were standing too close to each other, so close that they could hear each others heartbeat but due to the darkness in the room both were unable to see each other. "You wanted this, right? You wanted me to love you endlessly" "Yes..... Yes.... I.....wanted.... to..... but....." She was trembling as she spoke.