tell me a filipino joke

WARNING: [R18] STORY WITH EXPLICIT CONTENT Sa pagtakas ni Mia mula sa malungkot na buhay na ibinigay sa kaniya ng demonyo niyang kinakasama na si Bernie, isa lang ang hangarin niya. Ang magbagong buhay. Ang maging lubusang masaya. Hanggang sa hindi inaasahang pagkakataon ay muli silang nagkita ni Erik. Si Erik ang unang lalaking minahal ni Mia. Isang uri ng pagmamahal na siya at ang hangin lamang ang nakakaalam. Dahil hindi niya iyon naipagtapat sa binata noong mga bata pa sila. Hindi nawala sa puso niya ang pagmamahal na iyon. Dahil sa loob ng mahabang panahon, aminado siya na ito lamang ang lalaking minahal niya. At iyon ang dahilan kaya nagagawa niyang ibigay kay Erik ang sarili niya. Nang paulit-ulit, kahit pa wala silang relasyon, kahit wala itong sinasabi. Masaya siya at totoong nakakalimutan niya si Bernie sa mga pagkakataon na kasama niya ang binata. Alam niyang hindi titigil si Bernie makuha lamang siya nito. Pero wala narin namang silbi sa kaniya ang buhay niya dahil para sa kaniya patapon na iyon. Kaya bago pa man madamay si Erik sa problema niya, mas nanaisin niyang mamatay nalang.

Anjelouv Kristen Guerera a sole heiress of Hacienda Guerera has arranged marriage with Clinton Villamor a beast in the business world and a retired military officer. Their relationship runs smoothly but what will happen if one day Clinton's ex-lover will show up claiming that she and Clinton will be having a baby? Will they pursue their arranged marriage or they will let go of each other?

It's not what you think. Two social worlds collide with words, feelings, behaviours and ideas most unexpected to bring an even more unpredictable end. Lacey Atkins leaves school for a tear and comes back wanting nothing more than to be left alone. Alone in a classroom, Tom Wade sees Lacey and soon comes to want nothing more than to be with her. Her weird and unusual ways all make him the more curious and drawn in.

One night in a dark alley, Hobin was attacked by his classmates with a baseball bat on various parts of his body, they even burned his left eye with a cigarette which caused him to be hospitalized for several weeks. This was followed by the successive deaths of those who beat him.

WARNING: (R18) STORY WITH MATURE/EXPLICIT CONTENT (WILD FANTASY SEQUEL) Mula pagkabata ay si Lana lang ang babaeng pinangarap ni Marius. Iyon ang dahilan kaya hindi niya ito iniwan at nagawa niyang mahalin ang anak nito na si Andrea. Pero gumuho ang lahat sa kaniya nang piliin ni Lana si Andrew, ang ama ni Andrea. Nilamon ng galit ang dibdib ni Marius para kay Andrew at pinagplanuhan niya ang paghihiganti rito sa pamamagitan ni Samantha, ang napakagandang bunsong kapatid ng lalaki. Ang paibigin, iwan at saktan si Samantha, iyon ang totoong plano niya at hindi kasama roon ang ma-in love sa dalaga.

Anastasia Tomes (Ana) is an abandoned orphan she-wolf who endures a lifetime of physical, mental, psychological and medical abuse at the hands of Janice, the housemother of the orphanage she is raised in, and Kaira, a witch who is working with the Janice. On her 18th birthday, she is not only kicked out of the Moon Valley Orphanage, but she also meets, and is subsequently rejected by, her destined mate. Ana never shifted and began to believe that she was wolf-less, until after she has left the orphanage. She was kept drugged with wolfsbane, Bella donna and other herbal concoctions, as well as liquid silver which all keep her from developing normally. Ana has been given injections throughout her life and was told it was a medical procedure to keep her alive. These cocktails of toxins caused her to have poor eyesight and extremely low metabolism, causing weight problems, both anomalies of werewolves. Ana meets her wolf, Scarlett, on her birthday after she leaves the orphanage. Scarlett helps her through as she experiences a pattern of rejections: from her parents to her destined mate. Although Ana feels that her life is worthless and that she is unlovable, she feels that she needs to go on a fact-finding journey to find out who she is, what her truths are and what her contribution to the world is. In her travels, she finds that there are unsavory people who will do whatever they can to keep her from her destiny, a destiny she has yet to realize. Will Ana be able to unravel the web of deceit whe has believed all her live, realize her potential and become the she-wolf she was destined to or will she tuck tail and run to keep her sanity and life intact?

Simple life was to be the most beautiful place around the corner of every individual's life. Both men and women dream of the most exciting journey. They dreamt to be in a place of perfection that was full of contentment and happiness. Sindy, the unconventional woman who used to see different things and creatures. Then one day, while she was working in her daily life, someone killed her sister and she used to see who it was. Next, upon the argument between her mother she was forced to find clues for her revenge. Dammier, Sylier, Adminicous and Xhander were there. The kings of every powerful house. They played the darkest hour of life symbolized by Violet, Blue, Red and Green. They used to follow rules and regulations to maintain their obligation. All of them have a different reason. They suffered alone and tied to the shackles of the chisel. And upon intertwining them something happened that changed everything. It becomes chaotic and all of them turn into decision making. While playing chaotic scenarios something that opened up a secret in the past that changed everyone. The questions that need to be answered: Who, What, When, Why and How? COPYRIGHTS © MXGCHEF PLAGIARISM IS A CRIME. Some words and scenes may not be suitable for young readers and yet read at our own risk.

Sa hindi inaasahang pagkakataon ay may nabanggang guwapong binata si Marinel sa beach na dinaluhan niya. Pero wala roon ang focus niya kahit guwapo pa ito. Pangarap niyang makapagtapos ng college at makapagtrabaho sa isang pribadong hospital bilang isang nurse. Pero sadyang mapaglaro ang tadhana dahil muli silang pinagtagpo ng binatang kanyang nabangga sa beach. Bigla nitong binago ang kanyang buhay but things went rough. She never imagine na hahantong siya sa sitwasyong kailangan niyang sumugal para lamang sa binata. Hanggang saan niya kayayaning ipaglaban ito? Kung ang tadhana na mismo ang humahadlang sa pagmamahalan nilang dalawa.

Ocean Series: 1Stella, a orphan probinsyana wishes to become a cardiologist. She sets on an adventure to the city of Manila with her bestfriend's kuya, Alen. She soon learns how to love, how one person chose to clutch the knife, the ugly side of the world and how to heal oneself.

Matapos ang masakit na nangayari kay Marinel ay nagpatuloy siya sa kanyang buhay kahit wala na si Calvin sa buhay niya. Inisa-isa niya lahat ng pinangako niya rito ayon na rin sa kahilingan nito noong nabubuhay pa ang binata. Maayos ang naging buhay ni Marinel hanggang sa biglang dumating ang isang surpresa sa kanyang buhay. Biglang nagpakita sa kanya ang kakambal ni Calvin at bigla siya nitong inakusahang manggagamit. Sinabi pa nitong mag-asawa silang dalawa. Hindi mawari ni Marinel kung bakit at kung paano nangyari ito. Ngunit sa biglaang pagdating ng binata sa kanyang buhay ay malalaman niyang may mas malalim pa pala itong kaugnayan sa kanya. Matatanggap kaya niya ang bagay na iyon? O magdadala lamang sa kanya ng malaking problema.