The Words I Wished I Said の小説・ストーリー

Then, without hesitation, I walked away from the home I had lived in for six years. On the plane heading abroad, I looked out at the endless sea of clouds beyond the window. I was finally on my way to living a life of my own. Goodbye, Wayne Miller.

"I wait for the guilt to override the memory, to make me wish I could erase that night entirely." "But you don't." "No." The admission hung between us, heavy and unyielding, but saying it aloud felt like shedding a physical weight. "I wish people hadn't been hurt. I wish things were different. I wish the Moon Goddess had chosen literally anyone else to carry this burden."

“Years ago—” “I’m not that guy anymore.” A tear falls. I wipe it away and then recross my arms. “Sometimes.” I shake my head. What I’m about to say isn’t smart, but the sentiment has been playing in my mind on repeat. “Sometimes, I wish we could go back. Have a redo.” “What would you redo?”

I wish I changed myself for the better and made amends to the people I have hurt. Too late for regrets. Wish I felt this sooner. Too late for guilt to consume me. I should’ve said sorry, sincerely. Too late for everything. I hoped for a second chance. I closed my eyes and waited for the impact. A loud crash can be heard from this place. It happened so soon.

Oh, how I wish it just did. I was in a mood to tear something to shreds. “I wish you well, Alpha.” I started… “In hell.”

Finally, I whispered, “You know what I said to him the last time I saw him? I told him I wished he died.” Asher remained quiet. Apart from him going a little tense beside me, he gave little to no reaction. I stared straight ahead at nothing. “I told him…” my throat tightened painfully, “…that I wished he’d died with Mum and Daniel.” The words sounded uglier out loud. It was only now that I realized how cruel they were. I pressed the heels of my palms against my eyes. “What kind of person says something like that?” “Someone who was hurt,” Asher said quietly.

I don't know why but after a while when I did not feel anything and it went quiet around me I decided that I would open one eye and just take a little peak. Oh, how I wish I didn't do that. How I wish that I had just stayed there with my eyes closed until someone had come for me. How I wished I did not wish for anything bad to have happened to the man that was trying to hurt me. I don't know how many other things I also sat there thinking that I was wishing I didn't do, or had done, or just plainly done differently.

LEXI “I just wish you hadn’t left. All of this could have been avoided.” He said and I couldn’t stop my jaw from dropping at his words. “So it’s my fault? Can I also say I wish you didn't walk out on me? That I wish you answered my messages and my calls?” I retorted right away. At this point, my eyes should be watering, but I was tired of crying about the past already. “And don’t tell me you never received them because I called you for hours after you stormed out of my apartment. Your phone was open, but you decided to just let it ring.”

The words came slowly this time. Carefully. “I wish my parents were still alive…” My voice broke completely now. “I wish everything was different…” If they were here… If life had been kinder… If there wasn’t always something breaking apart… Would I still be here? Would I still be like this? Alone. Surrounded by people… But completely alone. “I wish they just lived happily…” I added softly. “And I wasn’t part of all this…” The tears didn’t stop. They couldn’t. Because for the first time in a long time…