The Words I Wished I Said นิยาย & เรื่องราว

I don't know why but after a while when I did not feel anything and it went quiet around me I decided that I would open one eye and just take a little peak. Oh, how I wish I didn't do that. How I wish that I had just stayed there with my eyes closed until someone had come for me. How I wished I did not wish for anything bad to have happened to the man that was trying to hurt me. I don't know how many other things I also sat there thinking that I was wishing I didn't do, or had done, or just plainly done differently.

The words came slowly this time. Carefully. “I wish my parents were still alive…” My voice broke completely now. “I wish everything was different…” If they were here… If life had been kinder… If there wasn’t always something breaking apart… Would I still be here? Would I still be like this? Alone. Surrounded by people… But completely alone. “I wish they just lived happily…” I added softly. “And I wasn’t part of all this…” The tears didn’t stop. They couldn’t. Because for the first time in a long time…

He looked so different, so disarmingly human in that moment, that it hurt to breathe. And then I remembered. The words I’d thrown at him days ago when I’d been at my most furious. I wish you were dead. Guilt slammed into me with brutal force. “When I said those things before…” I couldn’t finish as my throat closed on the memory. “When I wished you would die, I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I never meant it.” His hand cupped my chin, tilting my face toward his. “I don’t really wish you were dead,” I blurted. “I was angry and hurt, and I said the first cruel thing I could think of. But I didn’t mean it.”

Her eyes go wide. “What did you say?” My heart thuds. This is how our last fight ended. The fight that lost me Lilly. Am I idiot enough to repeat those words? “I said. You. Wish.” Yep. I am. Her lips part on a breath, and my body pulls taut. Her tongue darts out to taste her bottom lip. Like she might be imagining it’s mine. She does wish. Holy shit. She does wish. The realization is a heady rush.

ADRIAN “I hated you. I hated you so much that I didn't wish to ever see you. I wished you dead. I hope that you will die, mum. You left us when we needed you the most. When we wanted you to be around.. what should we have done without you?” She had stood up and walked closer to me. “I’m sorry. I'm so sorry for everything that happened and I wish I could take it back but I can't. You don't know how much I wish things could go back to normal with your father and I here with you but I guess all we have to hold on to.”

The more Chris tried to say no, the more eager Mary was—she even shoved me and said, "Just say you don't mind, old-timer." I scowled as I growled the words, "I do mind." Mary's face darkened right then. "Chris is my best friend! You're getting jealous over that?! I told you not to come, but you insisted—and now you're being a buzzkill! Just look, you're souring everyone's companionship! Everyone's so uncomfortable!"

"Just say it." "I.. I wish.. I wish to.." lalong tumalim ang mata nito ng paputol-putol akong magsalita. Naramdaman kong hinawakan na niya ng mahigpit ang mga braso ko at wala akong nagawa kundi ang mapabuga ng hininga at mapatungo. "I.. I wish.." I wish I can talk to my mother, please.

Yet more precious than anything I had ever held. My hands trembled. My heart trembled even more. I looked carefully at his peaceful face. "I wish..." My voice cracked. "I wish we had met under different circumstances, little one." A tear landed on the sky-blue blanket, already damp from his mama's tears. "I wish I could have watched you grow up." "I wish I could have seen your eyes shine like stars..." "Just like your mama's." The last sentence... I never said out loud. But with all my heart...

Before I left, the nurse asked, "Do you hate me for not letting you live the life of a wealthy child?" I turned back and replied, "No, I’m grateful."

Violet A small part of me wanted to scream the real thing. That I was a witch, a child of blood…just to watch what would happen. See if the ones who didn’t know yet would run, even though we were already sitting in the middle of witches’ territory. “My secret is that I replay things in my head way too much,” I ended up saying. “I keep thinking, if I had just said this differently, or done that differently, maybe I wouldn’t have made such a mess of things…sometimes I wish I could go back and start all over.”