Twilight Funny Quotes Novels & Stories

They say memories stored in our brain could be sometimes forgotten, but then the heart does not forget. Because our heart always remember, the heart recognizes our beloved when our brain couldn't. Years after they lost contact with each other, Zhanaia encountered Dion again on the same place where they met. And funny how destiny works, they met again just like how they first met, accidentally bumping with each other. Zhanaia's heart was filled with joy, she couldn't contain her happiness and jumped to hug Dion, not wanting to let him go again. But all the hope in her shattered when Dion pulled away from her embrace and asked her, "I'm sorry, miss, but... who are you?"

Mom is always very strict with both my elder sisters, Esther and Emily Kingston. She always wakes them up at 5:00 am to make them study. And if they refuse to wake up, Mom will grab an embroidery needle and stab it into my arm. When fresh blood spills out, Esther and Emily will both get a fright and scramble to their desks at once to begin studying. Sometime during the year-end exam, Esther gets one easy question wrong, and I receive ten lashes with Mom's belt. Emily gets only the second-highest score in class, and I am forced to kneel on glass until my knees turn bloodied and torn. Esther and Emily feel sorry for me and fall to their knees, begging Mom to have mercy on me and promising that they will study hard and make her proud of them. Mom smiles happily and says that this teaching method works very well. However, after the SATs, Esther applies for a college out of state, and Emily tells Mom that she is eloping with a young man whom she has fallen in love with. Mom is so angry that she yanks me over and stuffs me into a huge fish tank before beginning to fill it up with water. She then takes a video of me, threatening to drown me alive if they don't listen to her and do exactly as she says. The water keeps rising in the tank. I feel scared, but I don't struggle because Mom always tells me that the only reason for my existence is to be made an example out of for Esther and Emily. She often quotes Shakespeare's "Othello", telling me about how I am the "sacrificial" dog one beats to scare a lion and teach it obedience. I think that I am considered quite a qualified dog after all, right?

A security guard caught a snake in our apartment complex and delivered it straight to my door. I was just about to scream when floating comments cut in. [The male lead got dumped and turned back into his real form just to spy on his girlfriend, and he actually got caught? This is funny as hell!] [He got dumped, and his girlfriend hates him. He's probably gonna cry himself to sleep!] [Aww, poor little snake can't curl up on his girlfriend tonight.] The big black snake looked pitiful in the guard's hands. It secretly sized me up with its slit pupils. I tried holding out my hand, and the black snake stared in disbelief. Two seconds later, it obediently rubbed its head against my fingers.

Until recently, Carolina Lane has lived a normal life, but when she moves to this town, things change. Having Kayler Brown, the sexiest and most respected boy in school, as a neighbor is not funny at all. While Caroline is trying hard to make this bossy yet meddling boy stay out of her business, she receives death warnings: Attention, Carolina. The forest will be your new enemy. Do not approach Kayler, or otherwise, your death will be even more painful than I had planned. Who sent this letter? What is Kayler hiding behind? What's the secret of this town? Caroline desperately wants to figure out the truth. However, Kayler won’t answer the questions. He just takes her hand and gazes at her. “You are mine.” He said.

After a 12-year absence, Austin returns to the horse farm in Wyoming she has always considered her true home. But things have changed, and the farm she inherited comes with some enemies - one of them being the Carter family. Cortland Carter now handles his family's affairs and is determined to get the water rights back from his neighbor, who won them from his grandfather in a poker game. Fate has a funny way of bringing people together, and when Austin saves Cortland's niece, the two finally meet. Despite the feud between their families, they both feel a mutual attraction that cannot be denied. But with their families at odds, is there any hope for a future together? "Coming Home" is a heartwarming tale of love and betrayal.

Gwen is a rogue who hates pack wolves. After her parents were brutally murdered by their pack for a crime they did not commit, Gwen has had nothing but hatred in her heart. On a night hunt, Gwen encounters the legendary rogue killer, Alpha Liam. A man who hates rogues with every fibre of his being. However, the moon goddess likes to play funny games. Liam and Gwen are mates. But this bond does not stop their hatred for each other. Liam takes her back to his pack, unable to leave her but hateful of her existence. He offers Gwen a deal. They would be mated for as long as it took for her to produce an heir. The rogue and alpha are dancing on the thin line between lust, love and hate. Can they pretend for long?

Kate fled from the pack after her friend helped her escape from the alpha prince, her mate who sought to kill her. She was pregnant with his child, but as an omega, the alpha prince deemed her an insult to his status and tried to eliminate her. Kate ran for her life, but her pursuers refused to give up. Just when all hope seemed lost, a Lycan wolf named Kael, the cursed alpha of the Dark Twilight Pack, intervened and helped her escape. Kael was under a curse that could only be lifted by finding a white wolf willing to suck his manhood and drink his fluid. Kate, it turned out, was that white wolf. In exchange for her services, Kael made her the CEO of a successful company and raised their triplet children. However, their arrangement was disrupted when Alpha Charles returned to claim Kate, while lycan Kael became obsessed with her. **** "Someone else has touched you, you slut!" Kael growled. "It's none of your business," Kate replied. "Our agreement doesn't stipulate that no one else can touch me." "Shut up!" Kael snarled. "You are mine, my pleasure alone, and no one else's!"

"What's happening?"The color of the once dead petals opened up to me, the brown and shriveled leaves, matching the petals in unbelievable harmony. A sight to behold.Who said moving could change anything? Wrong. For Kamara Kidjo, moving changed everything. New friends, new crush, new attitude. New powers?Ageline Kidjo knew the powers Kamara possessed but how long can one keep a secret? The truth as they say, will always prevail.

The blonde loner of Ridgewood high, falls for the sassy, rude, eccentric cigarette addict, a supposed bad boy of the same senior year as he: Adrian McCleron, and eventually forces out his friendly side. Meanwhile, Adrian doesn't see blondie in too much light, and finds himself admiring the coolest play boy, and most popular basketball captain around. A party determined so much, and so was a game of free shots through the rim. Hearts were broken, hopes were shattered, but upon realization of what true love is, Adrian had already lost more than he thought: His Gray Half.

((A/N)) If you haven't read "Lycan King" you should definitely read it for a better understanding of "Lycan Blood." or you can just read this book and go back and read "Lycan King" your choice.****************I follow closely behind Lucious through the dark forest, looking at his tensed back. "I was only helping. I know you're angry Lucious, but you can't go around doing whatever you want anymore. My father has laws in place for these types of things." If Lucious would've wiped that pack out, he would've had to answer to father for his crimes.Lucious turn around glaring at me. "Don't tell me what I can and cannot do! I don't give a fuck about your father nor his laws! He's not my fucking king!" He spits the words at me, before turning walking away.I let out a sigh, looking at his back as he disappears through the thick trees of the forest. He may not accept father as his king, but that doesn't mean father won't punish him for the laws he breaks.************************************** After all the killing and fighting, Lisa just wants for things to go back to the way they once were, but the peacefulness of her old life back in the human world is long gone. Lisa is now shoved into the world that she was always meant to be a part of. She's no longer in the human world, living by the human ways and laws. Here its killed or be killed. While Lisa fight for her respect amongst the wolves, Lucious is planning to get revenge for the death of his father and friends.