Uncontrollable Bad Thoughts About God Novels & Stories

Too big to make your heart skip a beat, but it also makes you want to feel it. Oh goddess, I can't believe I'm even having these lewd thoughts about the one guy who has vowed to never stop making my life a living hell. It wasn't right. I shouldn't be harboring such thoughts of him. He wasn't my mate and neither was he my boyfriend. I had no right to nurture such sleazy thoughts about him.

I mean I feel like I’ve just found out I have cancer, or a deadly virus that’s incurable, or that Armageddon is on its way and we have nowhere to run. I need to calm down. If I don’t, I might turn, and in a blind haze go do something stupid. We’re not supposed to turn if we feel like we can’t control it. That’s when bad things happen, wolves do terrible, awful things, to the humans nearby. Frenzied, blood lusted murderous things and then have no memory after.

I thought that life is so unfair. I even hated God for letting all of this happened. I only loved one woman in my life, but why did God allow me to be the reason for her sufferings? I hated God so much that I tried to kill myself. I feel like, my mere existence is the cause of the suffering of many people. The suffering of the people I love. They said when you don’t understand, you just need to trust God. I failed to do this. I failed to trust Him. One thing God has proved to me was, he is still in control.

"That's what everyone says when they go to a mental hospital." Memorable thought that first impressions can be deceptive. What an irony of life! This atheist hates the sick, even though he is one. Even this atheist is sick, despite his " sound thoughts." We are all hostages of our "sane thoughts", but for some reason these sane thoughts lead us to get to the hospital. What can we expect? What is the fate of this atheist? What is my fate? Are we supposed to live in a hospital? Are we destined to die in it? If God is all-seeing, he knows everything. We are naked before God. We're in the palm of his hand. He knows my fate and that of this atheist. Thirty-third Day. Transmission

“Indeed, change is a frightening monster that looms at every turn in life. Just because I am well equipped to handle the change doesn’t mean it doesn’t find a way to tear at my defenses and leave me completely helpless. Do you want to know the secret, your highness?” “What is it?” “Imagine the person you hate the most or the person you consider your opponent groveling at your feet. Imagine the world all bowing to you. Imagine everything you wished for being yours. Now, what are the steps you will take for that to happen? Who are your pawns? Who will you tear down to make it possible? Those impure thoughts fill my head every waking moment. My thoughts are noisier than a market and they urge m

I needed to stop thinking, but my mind wouldn't let me stop imagining the worst. I wish I wasn't able to imagine the worst. I wish there was some way to block those thoughts out of my mind and never let it breathe again. I hated that I knew what was worst, I hated I couldn't get rid of his hands on my body even after scrubbing too hard. No matter how much I pretend I was okay, I felt volatile from inside again. A feeling I hated having. I had to call my therapist soon. I couldn't leave with this feeling anymore, the constant bugging what I was going to do wasn't in my nature. I was good, but hell with the good for few moments. I didn't want to be good if he gets to be free.

I could see the glowing Eiffel tower from afar. My mind immediately thought of Raphael, I could still feel him kissing me. I want to kiss him so bad. I could imagine what else those lips can do especially when he is eating my pus- I shake my head to get rid of the dirty thoughts I have of Raphael. Firstly I shouldn't be having these thoughts about a twenty-seven year old man. I do have guilt. He is my father's enemy for crying out loud and here I am having sinful thoughts about him. I should stop this before it gets out of hand. My thoughts were cut off by a ping sound.

"Yes, apparently rumor has it. He wants to permanently buy you off from his father." There goes my life. "What's the matter?" "Nothing.. I just don't like being deceitful, I can't keep this up for the rest of my life like you have. I just always thought.. I had a better purpose.. this is all just a cycle." I paused for a bit. "Do you think God will ever forgive us for this infidelity?" "If God exists.. my question is why would he give us a life like this?" "Mother, please here you go again with your negative thoughts!"

And the worst part about this weird thought that just popped up in my head is that I can’t even clear the stupid thought from my mind because I know it is what Jimmy is capable of doing when the spirit of stupidity enters into me. But God help him if he actually decides to be stupid and think from his ass rather than from the brain he was blessed with because he will not live to witness the end of my rage and this is not even a joke. I would be absolutely pissed with him for more than a month if he decides to embarrass me like that.

I don't need to be told what happened, I've already figured it out. "To help you, just as you asked," the innocent expression he's donned further sours my own. I don't see how what's done constitutes helping in any way. "How is this helping?" She spits the question, which mirrors my own. “You’ll fear those ‘negative’ thoughts for the rest of your life. You’ll force yourself away from them, terrified that they’ll spill into your waking life,” he tilts his head, his eyes dulled with boredom, “Am I wrong?”