Uncontrollable Bad Thoughts About God Novels & Stories

I'm not able to function at work or do my job properly without him interrupting my thoughts and making silly errors. I had to get over these feelings for him ASAP. If not, they're going to cause me to make more stupid mistakes, and eventually get fired! And I can NOT have that.

The thoughts sneak into my head like poison, and instead of spitting it out, I let it fester. Maybe they couldn’t drive him insane like I do. Maybe they couldn’t satisfy him, couldn’t twist him up so completely he chose them over his family the way he chose me. Maybe they weren’t fire, just smoke. And what good is smoke when you want to burn? They were liabilities. I hate myself for it, but the thought makes a twisted kind of sense. “Fuck,” I whisper inside my head, horrified. What am I doing? I’m making excuses for him. Excuses for his maniacal, monstrous behavior.

“Go on, call me all you want. I'm happy I finally get to meet you. I always wondered why I was born. Did you choose this fate for me and watch me suffer all these years? It must have been fun seeing how pathetic I was.” “Your decisions shape your fate, I have no hand in that.” “It was my decision to be an orphan too?.” “I owe you no explanation.” Ariel tried to suppress her choked sobs. Even a god could not take the blame for her messy life. “Stop being silly kid, these guys will hunt you down and have you killed the moment they get the slightest idea you're alive. You carry their secrets, it's only convenient they bury them with you. Your emotions will only get you killed. This is a power s

But my mind and my heart had been somewhere they shouldn’t have been. All those unholy thoughts… they weren’t from God. The realization hit me like cold rain. I looked down at my hands, still folded in prayer, and felt shame rise inside me. I was supposed to be a priest and a guide for others yet I had let the devil crawl into my thoughts in the holiest place I knew. Paul’s voice broke the silence. “Father… I can’t.” His whisper trembled. His shoulders hunched forward, as if the weight of his sins or perhaps just his life was pressing him into the floor.

CONTENT WARNINGS: This chapter contains graphic depictions of sexual violence, non-consensual acts, trauma, panic attacks, drug use, coercion, and self-harm ideation. It may be distressing or triggering for some readers. CONRAD After I slipped the bottle back into my pocket and walked away from her door. My hands wouldn't stop shaking. I had told myself it was necessary. It was not my fault. I was possessed. These demons… These monsters had taken root in my mind and were preying on everything. I was not even sure who was in control anymore.

And God help me, it had nearly made me do exactly what I had been thinking about doing. Things that had no business existing in my mind. Dirty things. Nasty things. The kind of thoughts a man shouldn’t have about a girl who lived under his roof. I exhaled slowly, the breath rougher than I intended. Kate was temptation wrapped in soft skin and quiet defiance. And the worst part? The harder I tried to bury whatever this was inside me—the sharper it grew. Like trying to hold water in your hands. The tighter you squeezed, the faster it slipped through your fingers.

Missed mass, took the Lord’s name in vain, never visited my grandmother enough. That last one is real and I let the honesty soften the air between us before I change direction. I drop my voice to the register I use in bed with the lights off. The partition between us is carved wood with a small opening at face height. Through it I can see the outline of his jaw. The collar white against his throat. “I’ve been having impure thoughts about a man who belongs to God, Father. The kind that keep me up at night with my hand between my legs and his name on my tongue.”

But I still don’t know why this is all happening or who is doing it. Then a thought hit me. If I can do all of this, then why couldn’t someone else do it to. What if the other person like me didn’t have the faith, or the upbringing I did. What if this other person just wants to see the world burn. My upbringing, my faith, and everything I’ve went through in my life is the reason I’m me. The reason I’ve never used my gifts for dark purposes. I know this was already a possibility of who, but it just now took hold into my brain. All of the dark thoughts I’ve had over the years, but I pushed away because of who I am. Doesn’t mean everyone like me would.

but this degree of ridiculousness made them think of one such being that acts like this on a whim. It’s the god, as the gods are famous for acting on a whim, sometimes they might bless the poor hobo for an overnight rich or even punish a just king who ridicules their power or authorities with just an unfiltered word they spoke when they were drunk or even rain down the fire of calamity to the holy land where mortal worship the god who punished them. All of the infected that are intelligent look at Malus like he just made the biggest mistake that results in other people suffering for it, some of them even looking at him with hatred. If it were not because this man's unfiltered words, they wou

Besides, just sitting here like some moron, trapped in a world that isn’t quite my own with nothing but a sleeping baby at my side and my son wandering demonic gardens, all I have is just myself and my thoughts. There’s nothing worse to experience than being trapped in your own mind. All the horror I’ve witnessed in my life aside, no matter how terrifying the future might seem at times, I still wholeheartedly believe that there’s nothing more dangerous than your own thoughts and the times you sink into them. A mind is a powerful place, indeed. It’s just that sometimes you have no control over it and that’s what scares me the most. After a while, I sigh and run a hand through my hair, frustra