I've read a ton of urban fantasy where this comes up, and honestly, most of it gets the emotional chaos wrong. It's not just about learning to fly or stop feeding. The control starts in the gut, with this all-consuming hunger that rewires your morals.
Think about it like this: every human instinct you had—trust, empathy, restraint—now has to be manually overridden by a predator's logic. That first month is just survival, learning to sip from a blood bag without tearing it open, practicing human speech when your fangs want to drop. The real control comes from finding an anchor, something from your old life you cling to so you don't become a monster. In 'Sunshine' by Robin McKinley, the vampire Constantine uses art and memory. It's less about mastering powers and more about mastering yourself.
The physical stuff? That comes later, through brutal trial and error. You don't just 'decide' to be faster; you accidentally shatter a door handle and spend a week learning the exact pressure a human wrist can bear. The most realistic portrayals show it as a constant, exhausting calibration.