Very Punny Novels & Stories

The first time I met him, he was lying in the recovery room after surgery, looking weak and lifeless. But strangely, my heart skipped in a way I hadn't felt in three years. I tried to act professional, but every time I stood beside him to check his vital signs or give his medications, my heart reacted in ways I couldn't explain. I couldn't even look him in the face without feeling shy. One small moment led to another until I finally gathered the courage to ask him for his number. But as his recovery improved and his discharge day approached, I couldn't stop asking myself one question: Would our story end at the hospital, or was this just the beginning?

Celeste Leblanc, the daughter of the richest man in the city, has ordered a custom-fitted ring worth a billion dollars according to my finger size. She claims that she will marry the person who can wear it perfectly. In the first time loop, George Braun, the fake heir, secretly enlarges the ring so that he can marry Celeste. She responds by slapping him to the point he's all bruised and battered. "You're not the one!" In the second time loop, my adopted brother, Roger Braun, loses 30 pounds in one go so that he can marry Celeste. She responds by pushing him down the stairs. "You're not the one either!" In the third time loop, my stepfather, Edgar Braun, grits his teeth and makes up his mind. He slices the flesh off his finger so that he can wear the ring properly. Celeste chuckles coldly at the sight. She orders her bodyguards to drown Edgar in a bathtub immediately. In the fourth time loop, everyone is left without a choice. They're so frightened that they deliver me into Celeste's hands. I put on the ring. It fits my finger perfectly well. The entire family heaves sighs of relief. But the moment Celeste sees me, she draws out a blade and stabs me to death. "You're not the one too! Where the hell is my fated husband?" In the final time loop, when Celeste tells her secretary, Donny Griffin, to bring the ring over, all of us claim that we can't wear the ring at all. But Donny shoots us a weird look. "Ms. Leblanc has already made it clear that one of you is the ring's owner."

Four days after my death, my four-year-old daughter finally sensed that something was terribly wrong. The fridge door slammed into her forehead when she tried to get a snack. Normally, I would've been there in a heartbeat—arms open, kisses ready, whispering, "You're okay, sweetheart, Mommy's here." But this time, I just lay on the bed, cold and still.​ She didn't understand. She thought the sweet treat would make me respond. So she held the final piece of chocolate up to my mouth. "Here, Mommy. Have some chocolate..." But I didn't even blink. She climbed into my arms, clutching my clothes tightly. "Mommy... Mommy, wake up..." She waited for me to stroke her hair, to tell her that everything was going to be fine. There was only silence.​ Completely lost and scared, she found my phone. "Daddy, why is Mommy still sleeping?" she asked, her voice filled with desperation.​ In response, Oliver sent a photo of himself having Christmas Eve dinner with his childhood sweetheart. His voice was icy cold when he replied, "She's just sleeping, not dead. It's Christmas Eve, and I'm busy. Tell her to stop playing games and come apologize when she's done sulking." Then he hung up.​ But when the truth finally hit Oliver—when the coroner's report came, when the police knocked on his door right in the middle of his laughter, when he realized I'd been lying dead for four days while he toasted—he broke.

At the recording studio of a divorce reality show, when Logan Barnes, the superstar, catches a fallen headset for me, he subconsciously takes my hand and kisses it. The thing is, the livestreaming camera is still rolling. The kiss leaves the entire Internet in chaos. After all, I'm not Logan's ex-wife in this reality show. Everyone can't wait to see me break down and get jealous to the point that I'll keep pestering my actual ex-husband, Eddie Hancock. But right after the reality show is over, Logan and I become the most envied Internet couple.

The class heartthrob, Kevin Mosley, who scores only 1000 in the SATs, claims that he has successfully enrolled at Starvard University and is just waiting for the semester to begin. He even guarantees that he can get the entire class admitted as well. The whole class starts cheering and praising him for being their hero. All of them intend to let him submit their college applications for them. But something about his story doesn't sound right to me, so I ask a few more questions. That's when I discover that his so-called exclusive admission internal channel is CloudAI, which is just an AI chatbot! It confidently tells him that it has already reserved a special admission slot for him and guarantees that he can report to Starvard University when the semester starts. Trying to help, I point out that the AI is just generating conversational responses and telling him what he wants to hear. My childhood friend, Janice Hudson, is the first to jump to his defense. "Daryl Greer, how can you doubt Kevin? He's trying to help the whole class. What's it to you?" My friend, Aaron Yates, chimes in as well. "Daryl, AI is cutting-edge technology. It's the future. You can't dismiss it just because you don't understand it." Their words rile everyone up. As the argument escalates, I am shoved down a flight of stairs. I hit my head and die on the spot. When I open my eyes again, I find myself back at the moment when Kevin proudly announces that he's been admitted to Starvard. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. This time, I'll simply respect their choices and wish them the best.

During summer break, I took my son, Luke Thorne, diving at our private beach. Ralph Foster, a hotshot TV actor, suddenly showed up with a whole entourage and barged in. "This is a private beach that Gloria personally secured for me to entertain VIPs. You two nobodies had better get lost right now!" He threw his weight around and even dragged my wife, Gloria Stokes, out as a threat. When he learned who I was, he went a step further and mocked me as a kept man living off my wife. I actually laughed. I was the head of the Thornes, the most powerful family in Frenkinston. Since when did I become some freeloading, useless husband? On top of that, Gloria's film studio and every bit of her backing came from me. But when Gloria arrived, she sided with Ralph and actually tried to force Luke to put on a show for some sleazy investors. Sneering, I made a call that only the head of the Thornes had the authority to make. "Shark Vanguard, clear Crescent Bay. Now."

"How can you say that about me, Nathan? I never had a kid!" Aaron Fuller protests. My wife, Jenny Green, stands protectively in front of him. "That's enough! You can't slander Aaron just because you're jealous of him. Just you wait, Nathan. I haven't settled the score with you for calling Aaron this afternoon and insulting him!"

Two women fighting different fates. Freya should be content as Luna of Rising Star but everything about her twisted mate repulses her. Even when she has a chance at happiness she's forced back to where it all began to try and save the people she loves. Including Zeke, her damaged, gruff bodyguard. Zena doesn't give a f--k. Until she suddenly has to, when her coven demands her talents. But her casual attitude has left with her with one unrequited love, one obsessive stalker and a quiet, heartstruck man who will battle everything to prove she's more than a tool for everyone else's Fate. Book 2 of the Shadowlands Series (Can all be read standalone) Book 1: A Damaged Alpha Book 2: The Luna Who Wants Everything Book 3: Resisting the Beta (2024) First Generation: White Forest Pack Series (can all be read standalone) Book 1: A Banished Alpha Book 2: The Luna's Rejected Assassin Book 3: The Beta's Prize

My husband was working over the holidays, again. He’d been sent out of town to oversee one of the Family’s dock operations and a string of gambling houses.. I decided to buy a ticket and surprise him. Only business class was left. Staring at the five-figure price, I gritted my teeth and spent a year’s worth of savings. Then I couldn’t even figure out how to pull down the damn tray table. The socialite seated next to me let out a cold laugh. “Never flown business class before?” I forced an awkward smile. “My apologies. You must be… important. You have that aura.” “Oh, me? No. The man who keeps me is important. He’d charter a private jet if I asked. Business class is practically slumming it.” I blinked. “A… keeper? That’s rare.” “Not really. I’m his secretary. I mess up a lot. Cost him a fortune. He yells at me until I cry. And then, well… crying leads to other things.” She winked. “You know how it is.” “Funny,” I said, my voice tight. “My husband has an assistant who helps him manage accounts for the docks. She’s always messing things up too.” “You’re married?” She looked me over, head to toe. “My man has a wife about your age. Says he’s sick of her. That touching her is boring. Says I’m more exciting just brushing my hair out of my face.” She leaned closer. “I told him I wanted to see him for New Year’s. So he told the wife he had to work.” The diamond on her finger caught the light. It was identical to the wedding band I’d lost. My body went cold. No. Matteo was just a low-level enforcer. A foot soldier the Family occasionally trusted with small operations—dock shipments, backroom gambling, nothing more. When did he become a Don?

"I despise everything about him," Ayisha Duffel always says whenever her path crosses with Kian, the Academy's heir and campus crush. They don't get along, just like cats and dogs. Their relationship is perfect when they are on campus, but when they are outside the campus, they despise each other to the moon and back. How did it all start? Why has it gotten to the point where the relationship has already been contracted? Will they be real in real life? Will they truly love one another? But what if you know that the person you're learning to love's life is in danger? Can you give up your life for him/her? Come on in and let's figure everything out together.