Weird Random Things Novels & Stories

“The universe sent me wisdom. And comedy.” “You—!” she stomped her foot. “That was private parent conversation! You’re not allowed to store embarrassing data on your tenants!” “I’m not storing anything,” he replied calmly. “Just wondering if the earrings on the stick figure helped the examiner remember the answer.” She turned a shade of red no artist could paint. And in her flustered fury, as she stomped again — one of her delicate silver anklets snapped off and fell onto the stairs with a soft metallic ting.

Then they weren’t. His jaw set. “OF COURSE,” he said, voice thin with disbelief, but he still managed the cadence of a joke. “Of course it’s me. Statistically inevitable. One in… what, two hundred?” Selene, still on her half of the field, went very still. Her gaze flicked from his name to mine to the slowly scrolling error code at the bottom of one admin screen high above. AUTHORITY SIGNAL INTERFERENCE: HIGH RANDOMIZATION ALGORITHM: DEGRADED

I needed to tell someone about what happened and Terrence is the only friend I have. “That night, when I got home, I opened my liquor cabinet and just went to hell with the drinks. I passed out from being too drunk and I couldn’t remember what had happened. WHen I woke up, everything in my house was spotless. I had clean clothes on, there was orange juice on my bedside table and everything else was in tip top shape. I couldn’t remember what happened after I passed out but I knew I didn’t do all of those things.” I told Terrence. He thought about what I had just told him.

"Please, call me Lucy, calm down let me check your information right here" She pulled up a board with papers of her test results, she flipped a few and looked a little concerned when she reached a certain section. "What? What's wrong?", Marianne sat up in her bed. "It says here that you had food poisoning, not sure which of the edibles did that to you. Do you remember taking anything strange?", she asked Marianne. Marianne didn't hesitate to the thought that it was obviously the milkshake that tasted strange, being happy about Greg's sudden change and kindness plus the fact that she had been praying for his change of hearts was enough to blind her into a food poisoning.

weird guy : I seen so many people like you me : I too seen so many people but never seen such a weird person like you weird guy : whom you called weird do you know who iam me : if you only don't know about yourself how can I know about you so sad I pity you weird guy : I hate people like you me : do you think I love you weird guy : who knows me : may be in your dreams I will become nun instead of loving someone like you weird guy : very great I may love a monkey better than loving someone like you me : yeah it's right only monkey can handle your weird behaviour you both will be made for eachother weird guy : you are such a arrogant the one unlucky fellow who will marry you will elope with hi

Of course, they will because they share a god damn brain. I swear they do, or they have telepathy or some hive mind. It’s creepy, primarily if you deal with all three and they talk in unison. The girls around school cream their panties when they do it. It just sends chills through me. Like horror movie chills. You know the kind. When they play the creepy fucking music, you know something terrible is about to happen. Nothing terrible has happened yet. I’m sure one day them talking in unison like that will be followed by something terrifying. But I’m waiting.

“Is it morning already? Did I do something horrible or embarrassing again last night? Ugh! I don’t want to open my eyes!” It’s the same line that I have been saying for the past week. I’m Vladimir something, No, my last name isn’t Something, I just don’t know it. I can’t seem to remember everything about me yet. Last week -

One that simply marked the end of one chapter of our lives and the start of another. And the following week, the four of us took off on the road trip of a lifetime meandering our way up the East Coast and into New York. The trip included every stop we could find from the capital to the largest ball of yarn and the tiniest rocking chair. If there was a place of interest, we pulled over. We weren't in a hurry to get anywhere and had a blast on the open road—even when Neil got lost in a corn maze and scared in the World's Largest House of Mirrors. I had no idea a grown man could have such an aversion to clowns. It had taken us well over an hour to retrieve him from the tangled web of reflection

I wanted something to happen so I wouldn't have such terrible feelings of worry, but I couldn't help but worry and think about why strange things kept happening to me these days. I wondered why and how the door had closed and opened just by me looking at it but no matter how hard I thought about it, I couldn’t come up with any pliable reason. I stared at the door again, wanting to be sure I wasn't imagining anything, and to my utmost dismay, it opened again when I stared at it. And it closed whenever I blinked. I gasped. I furrowed my eyebrows, thinking hard about it, but nothing came out. Why is it opening?

Peanut's Revenge By Saturday morning— the entire household was against Peanut. God. Not officially. Fair. Not publicly. Reasonable honestly. But secretly? God. Absolutely. Fair. Because for three straight days— Reasonable. Things kept disappearing. God. Random things. Fair. Important things. Reasonable honestly. Then reappearing in ridiculous places. God. Adrian's watch? Fair. Inside the refrigerator. Reasonable. Nobody knew how. God. Elena's earrings?