Why Do I Cry And Laugh At The Same Time Novels & Stories

Tears burn unexpectedly at the back of my eyes. "I don't need you," I choke. 'You do. You always do,' The voices rise until they're all I can hear. A choked sound punches out of me...and then I'm laughing. It bursts out of my chest, echoing off the bathroom walls. My shoulders shake with it, my head dropping forward as I clutch the sink. It doesn't sound or feel sane. Tears roll down my face, mixing with the water still dripping from my chin. I laugh harder.

“Daddy leaking!” I had teased her once when I was crying, and I said I was so full of happiness that I had to leak some out or I would explode. She never forgot it. And despite her young age, she was smart enough to know the difference when I cried in sadness or “leaked” in happiness.

"Be my girlfriend, just for a couple of months and i will take care of you." It was shocking to hear the sound of my own laugh ring out through the room. But I also could not remember the last time I had laughed so hard at a joke that wasn't even funny. Maybe it was postpartum adrenaline, or the fact that I had just put to birth and still had absolutely no idea what the fuck life was going to throw at me. My laughter was immediately accompanied by tears. "Are you okay?" He asked when I didn't stop laughing and crying, and then my roaring laughter reduced to hiccups.

I grabbed her arm, dragged her across the office, and hauled her out the door. I turned to the Security Guard, who was still frozen outside. “Take her out, or you’ll be next,” I instructed, my voice flat and dangerous, and walked back into the office. I didn't even look at my husband. I sighed, pulled out a tissue, cleaned my bleeding nose and hand, and started taking out the documents I came to discuss. Then, Eddie’s laughter echoed in the office. It was a full, raw sound. I spun around to look at him. It was the first time I’d ever seen him laugh—a genuine laugh. I was convinced he wasn't capable of it. His smile was so bright, his green eyes tearing up with unmasked amusement.

I declared, my voice trembling with passion. His face lit up with overwhelming joy. And then, he couldn’t hold back his tears. In the next moment, we were both crying—crying but laughing at the same time. We were like fools, unsure whether to sob or laugh from the sheer happiness overtaking us. My God. I love this man so much. He’s the man who’s made me cry countless times, but he’s also the one who makes me laugh wholeheartedly—who brings boundless joy to my soul.

"I am." The laughter shifts. It doesn't stop but it changes — it becomes something wetter, the way weather changes, and I realize I'm also crying, which I didn't notice beginning, and I am laughing and crying simultaneously at my kitchen table at eleven in the morning on a Tuesday, and my mother is watching me with the expression of someone witnessing an inconvenience. "You know what," I say. My voice is strange. Layered. The laughter and the crying and underneath them something that is very quiet and very, very done. "Take it."

I said looking away embarrassed. "I was happy that you were jealous." he said. I looked at him. He is grinning from ear to ear. "I was not jealous!"I said. I was not jealous, right? Why would I be? I must be just...surprised...yes...that's why I was mad at him...that must be it... "But..I was sad when I saw you crying and that too because of me. I really can't see your tears. How can someone be both happy and sad at the same time?" he said sighing.

I swallowed, and just then, tears started to stream down my cheeks. What was wrong with me? Why was I crying? He had made such a funny joke, and I was supposed to still be laughing. Why did the laughter suddenly bring tears to my eyes? "Oh my, did I say something bad? I’m so sorry; I didn’t mean to hurt you, I promise." He tried explaining himself, and I chuckled slightly.

But as the laughter grows, it slowly turns into a cry. Tears stream down my face, hot and unchecked, as the emotions I've been trying to drown come flooding back. I sob, great, racking gasps that shake my entire body. As I cry, I feel a weight lifting, a sense of release that I've been searching for all night. I cry until I'm exhausted, until my body is spent and my eyes are dry. Then I start to laugh again. But I immediately freeze when I see a very familiar face. I must have drank too much. I'm seeing things.

Like my soul had been saying *there he is* for eleven months and my mind had kept telling it to be quiet and now it finally wasn't quiet anymore. "I don't…" I laughed even as the tears kept coming. "What is wrong with us?" Joshua laughed too, wiping his face with the back of his hand like that would help. "I have absolutely no idea." "We're both just…" "Crying. Yes. I noticed." "For no reason." "For every reason," he said. We looked at each other. Both are still crying and laughing at ourselves for it. "Nothing," he said softly. Wiping my face gently with his thumb. "There is nothing wrong with us. Absolutely nothing."