Can I Cry Now の小説・ストーリー

I'm going crazy here' he tossed his phone back on the seat next to him after he read through the text that had just popped on the screen of his phone. "Shit!" He cursed angrily under his breath as the tears he'd been fighting back finally found their way down his cheeks. He was hurt and the only way he could express it was to shed tears. Who said that men don't cry? Who said that it's a crime for men to cry? They are humans too, he was a fucking human too. He had emotions just like the other gender, so why shouldn't he cry his pain out? Why should he pretend to be fine when he was dying inside?

“I can’t do this, Reign. I don’t know what to do, please help me I badly need you right now.” When I was done crying I stood up and scream all the pain that I’m feeling. This road is empty after all. I scream all the painful feelings and let it out, I didn’t even care if someone will hear me or my voice would be gone the next day. Tears are falling while I scream, I curse and curse all the problems. I smile as I let it all out. I wipe my tears mix with my sweat. “I need a drink.”

Am I crying? “Whiskey?” Zelena called gently. I shot my gaze to hers, and more tears poured down. I don’t cry. One tear, one lash. That’s the rule. I can’t cry. My breaths became shaky, and my legs felt wobbly underneath me.

What the fuck did I just hear? I didn't know the time when tears streamed out of my eyes. Trust me, I'm holding myself back. I'm trying to prevent myself fr om bawling because that's what my body needs right now. ******

But I didn't cry. Crying would mean acknowledging how much this hurt. How much he hurt me. And I couldn't afford that right now.

I acknowledge that my current situation is detrimental, but I can’t come up with a solution, no matter how hard I try. I don’t stop crying until somewhere past midnight, when my eyelids become heavy and I drift off.

Home. Where is that now? Is home with the people who had sold me? The rage starts to build in my stomach. I feel hot and suffocated. I feel useless. I can't run. I can't fight. I can't even scream. I just want to lie down and die. Before I even realize what is happening, tears start falling from my eyes. I am crying. Really crying. Ugly crying. Panic floods me immediately. I wipe my face frantically with my shirt.

She wasn't here. "It's okay to be mad at yourself," Craig went on. "Your transgressions are great. It's okay to cry. Men have feelings too. You can mourn the loss of your friend and Guardian by crying. It's better when you do. Crying helps to ease the pressure, so cry. I'll turn away if you don't want to do it in front of me. But, don't keep in the pain anymore." It was not so easy. I wished the tears would come.

And Amara, that crybaby is crying in her room. "Cry a river" I muttered. What I need now are my pills, she obviously can't help me.