Novel & Cerita Wouldn't Wanna Be Anybody Else

He's made me totally unavailable to want to be loved by anyone else but him. Pain is a motherfucker, and I am the future mother that its currently fucking! Pain has changed me. Forced me to see things differently, more morbidly. It has tossed me into total despair! Even though I tried my very best to fight against him. To not like him, to never be his. In the end I feel like I am so lost, that he is the only one that can find me. That he is the only one that knows what my body needs. It.. craves him, although I don't want it to, it does. I've never had anyone touch me the way he does or look at me with the lust, hunger and possessiveness that he does. And I don't think that anyone else ever

"I'm not even doing anything...why can't I just be myself.. is that wrong?" "I'm warning you Precious... better be yourself pretty soon before you find yourself homeless..."

How cute, Cakeu. All I want to be, yeah all I ever want to be, yeah, yeah Is somebody to you All I want to be, yeah all I ever want to be, yeah, yeah Is somebody to you Everybody's tryna be a billionaire But every time I look at you I just don't care 'Cause all I want to be, yeah all I ever want to be, yeah, yeah Is somebody to you "Yeah you!" Oh, god! Don't tell me right from the start, it was all his plan? From the system 'breakdown' and the silence of everyone and everything... it was his plan? Am I right? It is!

She said, sniffing between words. "No, don't say that; you have everything to live for. You…" "I have nothing to leave for!" She interupted. "Do you know how it feels not to make your own choices, and have the freedom you deserve? Do you know how it feels to lose the only person who understands you the most? Do you know how it feels to be banned from being with the one person that your heart yields for? If you do, you won't be telling me this right now." She wailed.

I don't want you to know about me. I don't want you to know about me. I'm nobody. That is what I am. My life has been a series of one mistake after another, and now this...this is the final straw in my already very weak and broken camel's back. I can no longer stand on it. My legs have buckled under me. My face is pale from fear. It’s too much...too hard…and I can’t take it anymore. This has gone on for far too long. I don’t know if there is an “after this” for me anymore.

“I just understood that I don't belong to anything or anyone in this world, Clary,” I said after a while, answering her question. “No one cares about me; it's like these guys; they all always want to cum and leave. No one will ever look at me any further than that.” My voice got choked at the end.

I'm just a mistake, waste of an egg, waste of a sperm, waste of oxygen, waste of water, waste of food, waste of money, waste, just waste, nothing more, nothing better than a waste, a waste where even flies don't come for food, yes I'm that useless I just wanna fucking die but I'm too pathetic, a fucking coward I wish I was never born I don't wanna exist, why me? Out of all people I just wanna die FUCK WHY WON'T I JUST DIE WHY AM I A FUCKING PATHETIC USELESS WASTE OF SPACE... FUCKING TRASH I looked up at Luke changing my mind about sleeping. I opened the TV, put on a random show. I don't know exactly what I want "Are you okay?" Luke asked me, "Do you feel hurt?"

My whole life has been a joke! Everyone keeps disposing me for their own interest. Am sorry for being selfish right now but I need them now more than ever and they want to leave me to face something I have no idea about? Who the fuck wants me dead? And why?? I have never killed or hurt anyone. At least not physically.. Even if I get those thoughts in my head, I never pushed through with it. Everyone is slowly leaving my life.. I cant believe they want to leave me…. I was just a job to them..

No one knows that l endulge myself in work because they are certain things that l dont want to think of. The waitress came up with the food that AJ ordered. She placed it on the table and left with a smile.Hope your favourites didn't change during all those years. I did order the same. AJ voiced out to me. Yeah man you know me best. He slightly chuckled. We dug into our food. There was silence that accompanied us. The restraunt wasn't that crowded by people making its ambience favorable to me. Oh yes l really do hate crowded places.That's one of the reasons that l barely go out or attend the events that am being invited to. That even gave people a reason to call me arrogant and a narcissist

I nod confidently. At this moment, I promise myself that I will never return to this place ever again and never look back at those people who stooped so low and hurt me.