you re so old jokes one liners

I'm only sixteen ng makilala ko si Franz Zorego, ang hot business man na mas matanda sakin ng s'yam na taon. Unang kita ko pa lang sa kanya nasabi ko agad sa sarili ko na itong ang lalaking mamahalin ko. Kaya naman ginawa ko ang lahat para akalain nito na nasa tamang edad na ako. Pero hindi naitatago ang sikreto ng matagal na panahon. Dahil natuklasan nito na isa lang akong highschool student sa paaralang mismong pag aari ng kanilang pamilya. Mula noon ay umiwas na ito sa akin at 'di na ako pinapansin. Aaminin ko nasasaktan ako sa pag iwas nito pero anong magagawa ng isang gaya ko? Sabi nga nila isa lang akong hamak na bata na pagdating ng panahon mawawala at mababago rin ang nararamdaman. Totoo ba ang gano'n? Paano kung hindi?

When Evelyn fell in love with Ryan, the charming young Alpha, she thought that their love would be strong enough to resist the mate bond with their fated mates. Though she was an omega, she won over the trust and respect of the pack with her hard work. But her peaceful life turned to hell when a sudden war broke out and Ryan who was weaker without his fated mate beside him started losing in the war. To make matters worse, his fated mate appeared right when the entire pack turned against Evelyn who was the reason for their Alpha's weakness. With the whole world against them, can Evelyn and Ryan's love still stand strong? Or will the mate bond win in the end and will Evelyn lose Ryan?

I'm finally pregnant after five years of marriage. I initially want Morgan Holt to accompany me to the hospital so I can surprise him, but he stoically tells me that he hates hospitals. I can understand and accommodate that. Then, he surprises me—he accompanies his new junior to the hospital for a medical checkup. At that moment, I know our relationship is over. When I bid him farewell, I say, "She's your true love's younger sister, right? I can understand why you've transferred your love to her. I wish you two well." His eyes redden. "I can't live without you."

Jane is a teenager in high school who had always been insecure about her looks thanks to her older sister who was always deemed more beautiful. She thought living under her sister's shadow was the worst thing that could happen to her.Until one day, her luck turned for the worst when the school's biggest jerk and the bad boy Jake decided to force her to become his wing-woman to win Liliana's heart! Not only that, she accidentally bumped into an even bigger jerk, Jake's older brother Aaron who couldn't seem to keep his hands off of her. How will she ever escape these ruthless bad boys?*Cover designed by Modern_Diary

Firstly how to get inside the club (This is where Xain comes in) Get his attention #Santo De Luca the biggest player in the whole of America# Get called to his floor Have sex with him Collect 100 grand Save Sophie Chances of success 98% Chances of failure 2% Hey everyone This is my first time writing a novel So please drop a comment On your view of it Love you all

"Should I help you take off your pants, Mr. Nicolas?" offered Dianne innocently, she meant it because she was worried that her boss would find it difficult. "Are you crazy? I can do it myself!" Nicolas exclaimed in an embarrassed tone. Dianne scowled in a bad mood. "I'm just offering, there's no need to be upset." "I know, even though you might have seen me naked because we had sex before, but still I don't remember anything about you," Nicolas said with a face that was now as red as a tomato. Dianne did not comment, she immediately closed the toilet door and waited behind it while grumbling. "Had sex with him? Ridiculous!" ----------------------------- This is Dianne Rosallee's 100th day working as an apprentice secretary at the Buenos Solar Company, but the girl is very fed up with her boss, Nicolas Gauthier. Nicolas Gauthier is a symbol of ruthlessness and arrogance. The main director of the Buenos Solar Company hates even the slightest mistake made by his employees. He is typically a perfectionist, which makes his employees difficult and emotional stress. Dianne Rosallee is no exception. Dianne Rosallee is a symbol of hatred and determination. Her revenge to Nicolas led Dianne to another complicated and crazy problem. There is a dangerous enemy that is lurking and threatening their lives. The term 'Love Blossoms in the Middle of War' seems to apply to Nicolas and Dianne. But, why is a bitter secret revealed when the both of them have shared feelings for each other?

After suffering all kinds of infertility treatment, Mango was finally pregnant with Nathaniel’s child. But it turned out another woman had already conceived Nathaniel’s child for 5 months. Just after claimed her pregnancy, she was kidnapped by Nathaniel’s bodyguard and almost died in the fire he set. It was universally acknowledged that she was dead. But that’s not true. After five years, Mango came back to Nathaniel’s side as a famous international car designer seeking revenge. Except for a different title, she also had a different face which looked more gorgeous and a different identity, mom. Her son Zion, a four-year-old boy, who shared the same beautiful almond-shaped eyes with Nathaniel was much more mentally mature than the kids of his age and also sought revenge for Nathaniel. However, revenge wasn’t the main purpose of them coming back...

Just as she’s starting her new life in Las Vegas, she gets an urgent call to return home to Atlanta. Deila Barbson could be stubborn, witty…among other things but she wasn’t the rogue her family thought her to be so she answered with equal urgency oblivious to what awaited her— her past. She’s faced with the person that’s haunted her beautiful nightmares everyday for two years. Betrayed by her heart, she found herself running again from whom she still longed for as the very air she breaths. Breathing was as difficult as commitments. Would she stand unbroken or she melt under his touch? Time they said healed every wound so why did his heart still bleed at the sight of the woman that left him shattered sixteen months ago? Hard-headed as he was, James Martin felt open as if it were yesterday he got stood up on his planned proposal dinner. He wanted answers, from her, from himself; why didn’t he feel anger towards her for breaking his heart? Why was his heart still thudding with hope at the sight of her? Why did Deila still unman him as if he wasn’t the macho CEO that intimidated even the Mayor? And most importantly, why did she return? Behind the unwilling woman and broken man was the dark secret both their families shared. What would be keeping them apart? Their ego? Or the family secret? Warning: This book contains mature words and sexual encounters that aren't suitable for readers under the age of 18.

Her father made her marry an absolute stranger, and for six years, he abandoned her, ignoring all of her advances to make their marriage work out. Now she wants a divorce, but he refuses to let her go. "Fine. If you're not going to let me go, I'll make sure this works out for all of eternity, Mr Damon. You're mine."

BLURB In a world where power, wealth and betrayal intertwine, Isabel reclaims her place among the elite after years of being hidden in the shadows. The very people who thought they’d rid themselves of Isabel, are in for the shock of their lives when she steps back into their world. Now, as the long-lost daughter of the prestigious Montgomery family, she’s ready to face her enemies—starting with her ex-husband, Alexander. The man who discarded her after an affair with her best friend. As old wounds reopen and dangerous secrets come to light, the question remains—will Isabel’s heart betray her thirst for vengeance? Or will she finally bring down those who sought to destroy her once and for all? The final act of this twisted game will be one no one sees coming.