You Re So Old Jokes One Liners

In a realm of criminal activities and allegiance, 20-year-old Sofia Rosario is ensnared in a last-ditch effort to protect her family. Sofia is compelled to marry Mark Carvajal, the fierce Underboss of the Hernandez crime syndicate, and must maneuver through the dangerous world of mafia power struggles and hidden family truths. While forming a relationship with Mark, she uncovers a tangled network of deceit, allegiance, and suppressed emotions. Will their love save them, or will it bring about their downfall? Immerse yourself in this gripping, heartfelt mafia love story to discover the truth.

"There should be rules if we are even going to do this," he said without looking at me. "I have always lived by the rules." He slid a file towards me. "This is the contract. The rules are stated there." I opened the file and glanced through it. "You can take it home and study them; give me feedback tomorrow evening. But I will read out the rules for you now because they start now, and in case your brain can't comprehend them, then I can explain." Anger seethed through me, and I almost threw the file back at him, but when I thought about the money involved and how it would benefit little Sophie, I bit my lower lip to push back the anger. He continued. "Rule number one; don't you fall in love with me." His eyes flipped up to me. "Crystal clear," I said. "That would never happen." Ellen never had fun in college. One night she decided to have fun with her friends and slept with a handsome stranger who disappeared before she woke up. A month later, she found out she was pregnant and searched everywhere for him, but to no avail. Five years later, she moved to a new city and met the same man she never thought she would ever see again. He didn't remember anything about her, and he was now a cold, arrogant man who needed a wife, and she needed money. They agreed to contract marriage with strict rules, one of them being never to fall in love with each other. They were sure they wouldn't break the rule, but as sparks grew between them and became too much, they found themselves trying hard to keep to the rules. Who will break rule number one between them?

Mia Thomson, an eighteen-year-old high school student, is heartbroken when she learns her longtime boyfriend has fallen for her best friend. Overwhelmed, she collapses and is rushed to the hospital. There, she unexpectedly encounters Shawn Mandez, the CEO of Beats Corporation, who urgently needs a spouse. Despite her predicament, Mia decides to help him out, only to be swiftly served divorced by him immediately after they finish signing their marriage certificate: “I’ll have my personal assistant send you the divorce papers," the CEO, who was not a man of many words, uttered coldly. Right at this moment, a sleek black Maybach pulled up in front of them. Without sparing the girl as little as a second glance, the demi-god stepped into the luxurious car and it soon disappeared out of sight. Mia was stunned.

WARNING: Mature Content... ‼️‼️‼️ ISANG balikbayan si Elorda Manalastas, ang may long-time boyfriend for 5 years at in-long distance relationship. Pero gumuho ang lahat nang magpakasal bigla ang boyfriend sa kapatid niya na mas bata sa kanya. Ngunit, maiiba bigla ang kanyang kapalaran. Nabuntis siya at nagpakasal sa isang bilyonaryo na hindi nalalaman ng kanyang buong pamilya. ------- "WHO the f^ck are you!" Malakas na mura ni Jav, nasa isang kuwarto siya at katabi ang isang babae. Bumalikwas ng bangon si Elorda nang makarinig siya ng malakas na sigaw. Nanlalaki ang kanyang mga mata nang makitang hub^'t hub^d siya at katabi ang isang lalaki. "I-Ikaw? G*go ka!" Mariin siyang napatiim, umigkas ang isang kamay niya at dumapo ang palad sa pisngi ng lalaking estranghero. Natigagal si Jav at napahawak sa kanyang pisngi na sinampal ng babae. "P^t*ngna mo rin! Ako pa minura mo... ikaw, na kumuha sa v^irginity ko. 35 years kong iningatan ang katawan ko... ang puri ko. G^go ka!" Mga bulyaw ni Elorda, unti-unti nang naglaglagan isa-isa ang butil ng kanyang mga luha.

Samantha Collins is a wild and rebellous rodeo girl, the daughter of Kevin Collins, the famous bronc and bull rider. She has spent her entire adult life traveling from Rodeo to Rodeo with her best friend and team mate Danielle Morgan, banking their earnings so that they can buy out her Father and take over the family's horse training and breeding facility. When she decides to attend the Red River Cattle Company's three day rodeo weekend, her father worries but sends her on her way.Alexander Bennett is the eldest of the four Bennett brothers, and the future Alpha of the Red River pack. He is in charge of the security and safety of the packs and, for only the second year in a row, the humans allowed to attend the rodeo. When his father, Alpha Michael, receives a registration for a Samantha Collins, he becomes increasingly anxious about her arrival. He places Alex in charge of her safety, and increases the patrols. He refuses to explain why, and simply attributes it to having humans at the rodeo.After running into the Bennett brothers, and having an accident at the camping site when she first arrives, Sam and Dani are into a world of werewolves, and secrets. Will Alex be able to keep her safe when she herself doesn't even know exactly what is going on? When a stranger appears at the rodeo, and Sam's past is revealed, can the pack's future be saved?

The youngest billionaire in town with looks of Adonis and everything at his feet desired just one thing more in life. His perfect match. He wished for a wife whose beauty would turn heads, a smile which would lighten up his world and figure which would curve perfectly under his fingers. A beauty who spoke with etiquette and made him proud. But he got her A mediocre girl with average looks, fierce personality and no curves. Outspoken and downright rude. She was everything he didn't want his wife to be like. But who could defy when their souls were bound by threads of fate. She was insecure And he fueled it further She considered herself inferior to him And he used every chance to make it a belief. She had a beautiful delicate golden heart And he made sure to taint it black and crush it under his Gucci shoes. She was his not so beautiful wife And he made sure that nothing left of her could be ever considered beautiful. "I will taint every damn fibre of your body my dear Elle...every bit of it till you beg me to divorce you" -Ashton "I will love every flaw of you my dear husband ...each and everyone till this heart beats for you" -Elle BEAUTY SERIES: Book 1 His not so beautiful wife Book 2 His Scarred Beauty

[R] Restricted [Under 18 requires accompanying parents or adults guardian.] Kenaikan jabatan Nur menjadi kabar baik bagi anak dan istrinya. Tetapi sejak saat itu, masalah dan ancaman tidak pernah berhenti. Bisakah Nur mengatasi semua itu disaat dia menyaksikan keluarganya berantakan? Apakah dia mampu menyelamatkan keluarganya disaat nyawanya sendiri terancam?

Valentine's Day. I was stuck on ER duty at Brighton City Hospital. Theodore Madoff, who was supposed to be working late, strolled in carrying his student—Cecilia Kuntzer. She had red marks everywhere and that smug little smirk. "Relax, Mrs. Madoff. Just stomach pain. Lucky me, Prof. Madoff rushed me here." Theo pushed me to treat her. Turns out? She was pregnant. From rough intercourse. And the dad? Theo. My husband. The same guy who'd sworn off kids with me for ten years. Felt like a punch to the gut. But I still saved her baby. Next day, she uploaded a video—ID in hand, cheesy PowerPoint, accusing me of malpractice. Claimed I killed her kid. Then Theo asked for a divorce. Priscilla—his mom—stormed the hospital, shrieking about her dead grandbaby. She brought a mob. All these "righteous" strangers who stabbed me to death. Right there in the ER. I died with my eyes wide open. Then—bam—I woke up. Valentine's Day. Again.

Fear  Noun 1. a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid. Synonyms: foreboding, apprehension, consternation, dismay, dread, terror, fright, panic, horror, trepidation, qualm. Until that night, Kinsley never knew true fear, never felt terror. She could taste the fear on her tongue, salty with a hint of copper, her throat felt constricted. She wanted to scream but the terror was too thick in her throat, coating it to the point of near suffocation. She was prey and he was the hunter who never failed. Verendus was powerful, a ruthless and cruel Boss, he did not fail and he did not quit. Kinsley Anderson was a woman he coveted, and he would stop at nothing to claim her. He had the means and the manpower to pursue her to the ends of the earth and he would do it, claiming her once and for all.

“Any conversation we're going to be having is going to be in the four corners of my wall and after that, I'd love and appreciate it if you forgot my name, home address and social security number— if you have that, of course.” “Cute,” he laughs and then winces when I open the drink can with a pop. I raise a brow at him, urging him to continue and then take a sip of my drink as I wait patiently. “ Contrary to what you may think, I'm not here to hurt you or whatever it is you're thinking —” “No shit.” “I'm here to offer you a deal. One I know you wouldn't be able to refuse.” “Sure, Professor Xavier.” This is getting fun and it's the most fun I've had in a few days. “Marry me.” ********** I had a one night stand with a handsome, enigmatic stranger. It was drunk decision; one I promised myself never to indulge in. Putting aside my regret, I continue with life and the trials it keeps throwing my way. As a girl used to surprises, what I don't expect is seeing this stranger from months ago at my doorstep and offering me a deal I can't seem to refuse: a marriage contract in exchange for my biggest wishes to be fulfilled.