You Re So Old Jokes One Liners

ASTRID YU, a washed-up, burnt-out former child actress, starts a YouTube vlog in an attempt to stay relevant in PH mainstream media. She collaborates with a local coffee shop, Brew Blends, so she could make her content for one of her vlog's many series (“Be a Barista with Me!"). However, she gains a following for all the wrong reasons—her viewers ship her with the coffee shop's owner, ENRIQUE LEE. Which would've been fine… if he hadn't been the infamous high school sweetheart she left behind for the sake of her acting career. Not to mention that after all this time, Astrid is still deeply in love with him. And Lee? Well, Lee hates her guts.

Nicole Summers has been kept in the dark her whole life, that is until she meets Leandre — the transfer student and the heir to the Midnight Moon Pack. As her seventeenth birthday approaches, her siblings reveal that she's a werewolf, just like them. Animal attacks and abductions happen, entangling her life into the deep web of werewolves, vampires, and witches. More secrets unravel themselves right in front of her, entangling her in a world full of surprises, new abilities, and danger. A story of family and mysteries. "You're a Werewolf"

Aubrey, open your eyes. He wanted me to watch how intensely he desired me as he took me in his mouth. What he said was too much. My hips ached, but I was enjoying what he was doing to me. I really wanted to squeeze my legs shut, but his hands were gripping my thighs, which he had forced wide, and wouldn’t let me.

This is a dark mm romance with dub-con/CNC, blood play, knife play, robe play, light bdsm, kidnapping of MMC, torture, murder and possessive behavior. If you have any of these triggers, please do not continue. This book is only suitable for readers over 18. Contains graphic sexual scenes, bad language and unprotected intercourse. The last place expected to see my last hookup was at my mother's wedding and worse, he's my new stepbrother. My mother and his father hoped we would get along, how do I tell them we have gotten along just not in the way they think? Extract: “Fratello,” he murmured, his lips curling into that maddening grin. “What?” My chest tightened. “That’s your safe word,” he said. “Say it once, and everything stops. I won’t touch you again. From that moment, I’ll only ever treat you as my stepbrother.” Even as he spoke, his hand gripped me, and I gasped, trembling. My body betrayed me, responding in ways I hated and craved all at once. “Until you say that word,” he whispered, eyes dark with something between amusement and hunger, “you’re mine. Mine, brother.”

Tara isn't your everyday beauty shit she wasn't a size 0 runway model, she was curvey thick and flawless nonetheless. It took her years to see that in herself after going through the ups and downs of being tossed through the foster system she had all but lost her faith in herself. This is why she chooses to become an advocate for foster kids like her. When she first launched her UFCP program she had only one private supporter. Now here she was at a huge charity banquet representing her program publicly and the program would now be recognized nationally. It was like a dream come true especially when she runs into the investor who happens to be an old friend from the foster system who was in the same house as her. Giovanni Berlusconi, he had glowed up since she last saw him all those years ago and he apparently felt the same about her. The only problem was he was a mafia king pin and Tara might have known much about the mob, but she sure as hell knew she wanted no parts of it. Especially after two of her colleagues end up dead in a mysterious car crash after questioning Gio's family connections to the recent spike in missing persons cases in the city. Tara had tried to blow him off politely but Gio wasn't having it. Stopping by her office unannounced. Tara was desperate to avoid the mob boss at all cost that is until she accidentally stumbles on to a private family meeting and witnesses him killing someone. Now she has only two choices marry the very man she fears or die.

Ang masayang pagsasama ng mag-asawang Celeste at Elijah ay nabahiran ng pagdududa nang maramdaman ni Elijah na tila niloloko siya ni Celeste. Pagdududa na nauwi upang sumiping siya ng isang gabi kay Selena na isang estranghera. Ngunit nagsisi si Elijah nang malaman niya na mali siya ng hinala kay Celeste. Inakala ni Elijah na tapos na ang kabanata ng buhay niya kay Selena dahil one night stand lamang ang nangyari sa kanilang dalawa. Ngunit ganoon na lamang ang gulat niya nang malaman niya na lumipat si Selena ng bahay na malapit sa bahay nilang mag-asawa. Doon na nagsimula ang pamba-blackmail ni Selena upang makuha ang gusto nito sa kaniya. Si Elijah nga lang ba ang pakay ni Selena o meron pa siyang mas malalim na dahilan kaya nais niyang masira ang pagmamahalan nina Celeste at Elijah?

"There should be rules if we are even going to do this," he said without looking at me. "I have always lived by the rules." He slid a file towards me. "This is the contract. The rules are stated there." I opened the file and glanced through it. "You can take it home and study them; give me feedback tomorrow evening. But I will read out the rules for you now because they start now, and in case your brain can't comprehend them, then I can explain." Anger seethed through me, and I almost threw the file back at him, but when I thought about the money involved and how it would benefit little Sophie, I bit my lower lip to push back the anger. He continued. "Rule number one; don't you fall in love with me." His eyes flipped up to me. "Crystal clear," I said. "That would never happen." Ellen never had fun in college. One night she decided to have fun with her friends and slept with a handsome stranger who disappeared before she woke up. A month later, she found out she was pregnant and searched everywhere for him, but to no avail. Five years later, she moved to a new city and met the same man she never thought she would ever see again. He didn't remember anything about her, and he was now a cold, arrogant man who needed a wife, and she needed money. They agreed to contract marriage with strict rules, one of them being never to fall in love with each other. They were sure they wouldn't break the rule, but as sparks grew between them and became too much, they found themselves trying hard to keep to the rules. Who will break rule number one between them?

In the eighteenth century Asia, nestled in eastern Korea, there was a peaceful and the most captivating kingdom called Noam, but even Confucius had his misfortunes. It was time when the royal family of Noam experienced a tragic incident. Queen Iseul, the beautiful fair royal consort of Noam, did something heinous against a poor girl with the help of a Shaman. The dying girl, with no other alternative, viciously cursed the Queen's unborn twins leaving behind a scar in the walls of the royal family. From there, the foundation of an unfortunate event started to set it's roots. The heart wrenching saga of misfortune inaugurated. The Devil's Bible was the last resort to lift up the curse, but unfortunately the solution to lift the curse leads to a bloody path. The major part of the story revolves around Si-ri, the cursed child and her journey to freedom. A girl who has been imprisoned in an old mansion by her father to ensure her safety.

Damien Logan, a ruthless billionaire, is used to control and power. But his life is shaken after a one-night stand with a mysterious woman, Ariana. When he wakes up to find her gone, he assumes they’ll never meet again until fate steps in. Struggling with debt and the loss of her job, Ariana unexpectedly finds herself back in Damien's world. Faced with his grandfather’s demand to marry a woman of his choosing, Damien comes up with a bold plan: a marriage contract with Ariana. In exchange for pretending to be his wife, she’ll get the financial stability she needs. Reluctantly, Ariana agrees, stepping into a life of wealth and lies. But as their fake marriage goes on, their walls start to crack. The line between pretending and real feelings starts to blur. Secrets and insecurities threaten to ruin everything. Can a love built on a lie survive, or will their contract end before they find each other’s hearts?

A storm. A wrong turn. A stranger in the dark.Elara Voss has spent her life hiding the fever that burns through her once a year ,a desperate, shameful hunger she’s never understood. One blood-moon night, it drives her deep into forbidden mountains… and straight into the path of a man who looks at her like prey.Kai Blackthorn doesn’t do gentle. He’s all hard muscle, silver eyes, and raw command. The second he breathes her in, something primal snaps inside him. One touch, one taste, and he’s lost,claiming her body against his cabin walls, on the rug by the fire, in his bed until dawn, in ways she’s never even fantasized about.She flees before sunrise, convinced it was a reckless mistake she can bury forever.But some mistakes have consequences.Three months later, Elara’s quiet new life begins to unravel… and Kai has never stopped hunting the woman whose scent is branded on his soul.He’s coming for her. And this time, he won’t let her run.