You Re So Old Jokes One Liners

Ilang taon nang kasal si Adelaide Rufino sa nag-iisang tagapagmana ng Villareal Group. Sa mata ng lahat, isa siyang masuwerteng asawa. Pero sa loob ng bahay ng mga Villareal, isa lang siyang bisita na hindi kailanman tinanggap. Ginawa niya ang lahat para mapabilang. Nagpakapagod, nagpakasakripisyo, at halos mawala ang sarili, basta lang may mapatunayan sa pamilya ng asawang si Felix Villareal. Hanggang sa isang araw, gumuho ang mundo niya. Nalaman niyang peke ang kasal nila. Hindi siya ang tunay na Mrs. Villareal. Ang pangalan sa likod ng lahat ng papeles ay sa matalik niyang kaibigang si Angela. Mas masakit pa, alam ito ng mga magulang ni Felix mula pa sa simula. At ang dahilan kung bakit hindi siya kailanman tinanggap ay simple at malupit. Hindi siya makapagbigay ng tagapagmana. Baog siya dahil sa isang aksidenteng nangyari habang inililigtas ang lalaking inakala niyang asawa. Sa araw na iyon, nawala ang pagmamahal. Napalitan ito ng pagsisisi. Pero hindi si Adelaide ang babaeng mananatiling nakaluhod sa sakit. Sa halip na magmukmok, gumawa siya ng plano. Isang planong sisira sa mga taong nagnakaw ng tiwala, panahon, at buhay niya. At ang unang hakbang ng kanyang paghihiganti ay ang pagtanggap niya ng kontrata bilang Mrs. Yuchengco. Hindi para magmahal. Kundi para gumanti. Gagawin niya ang lahat, mapagbagsak lang ang mga ito, kahit pa ipagkuno niya ang sarili sa lalaking hindi naman niya kilala.

In the darkness of the night, a 26-year-old fashion designer counters the murder of an innocent woman in the city of love. She is confronted with the most horrific scenario by the biggest mafia in France, which gets her in trouble. Daniel Richman, 28, is MI6 agent assigned to find the head of French mafia gang leader Tiago Pablo. However, he is backstabbed by someone he must investigate, he meets a mysterious woman named Rania. She doubts him yet at the same time is attracted to the English man and cannot stop thinking about him. Daniel is drawn to the lady and he finds himself drawn to her within these short hours, and before he knows it, he's in love with her. What will happen when the night is over? Will they stay together or will they part ways like strangers do?

Daria is a nun who has never followed her heart or stepped out of the lines. Bedtime is strict, alcohol is forbidden, relationships are out of the question, and Daria has devoted herself entirely to her faith and the church—until she is diagnosed with cancer. Without money for chemotherapy, Daria decides to live life to the fullest, starting with kissing a stranger and breaking the rules of chastity. But wait, why does the man whose lips she has tasted look so familiar?!

He throws the paper on her face, she takes a step back because of sudden action, "Wh-what i-is this?" She managed to question, "Divorce paper" He snaps, "Sign it and move out from my life, I don't want to see your face ever again, I will hand over you to your greedy mother and set myself free," He stated while grinding his teeth and clenching his jaw, She felt like someone threw cold water on her, she felt terrible, as a ground slip from under her feet, "N-No..N-N-NOOOOO, NEVER, I will never go back to her or never gonna sing those paper" she yells on the top of her lungs, still shaking terribly,

Shabina is a woman full of pride. She has a twisted past and hidden identities that no one knows. However, after meeting the neighborhood school president her life took a drastic change. Problems after problems Shabina lost her way and end up making a big mistake that she'll regret her whole life.

It was just a one night mistake but turned into a lifetime imprisonment. Allanna and Giel’s agreement is to be married for convenience with a written contract and their signatures on it. Will Allanna be able to act along with Giel for the sake of the contract, or will her feelings grow for him?

I've been married to Derek Gunther for many years. Every anniversary, he tells me the airline scheduled him for a flight, then sends an expensive pair of earrings to smooth things over. But on our ninth anniversary, I accidentally overhear him joking with his friends. "Derek, you spend every anniversary with Ivy—and Sienna still hasn't caught on?" "No wonder she can't get pregnant. After all, you give all to Ivy." Derek exhales a stream of smoke and says, "Ivy gave up everything to be with me. I owe her a real home. As for Sienna, I stopped loving her after she miscarried. When the time's right, I'll file for divorce. It's unfair, sure—but I'll make it up to her with money." What Derek doesn't know is that he won't get that chance. It's on our anniversary that I'm diagnosed with late-stage ovarian cancer. Since he stopped loving me long ago, I'm ready to walk away on my own terms. Derek, from now on, we're done.

I had proposed seven times, but Winnie Smith continued refusing to marry me. This was because the Smith family had a special test. To marry their daughters, their sons-in-law had to refrain from sleeping with their fiancees after being drugged. I tried seven times. However, every time after I regained consciousness, Winnie would be sleeping naked next to me. She would cry and throw herself into my arms. “It’s fine. We can try again. I trust you.” It was not until the eighth time that I overheard her instructing the butler, “Switch the aphrodisiac to sleeping pills, and make sure it’s a high dosage. “After he falls asleep, I’ll take it from there as usual.” While I kept my eyes shut tight, I could hear her taking off her long dress. Then, she came over to unbutton my shirt. I heard her sigh. “I’m sorry, Benjamin Lowe. Joe Anderson’s been diagnosed with cancer, and his last wish is to be with me. “Don’t worry, though. After he passes, I’ll marry you immediately.” Right then, I realized that her family’s test had been a lie she told just to marry her childhood best friend. The next day, my parents pressured me again to leave the country and inherit the family business. So, I agreed to their request. Since she wanted to marry Joe, I would wish the couple well.

My fiance, Victor Blackwood, is a mafia boss who rules the country's underworld with an iron fist. To the rest of the world, he is the epitome of power. Yet to me, he is the embodiment of love. But I do not realize the cost of loving a man like him. On Valentine's Day, I cook his favorite dishes and wait for him to come home. However, time passes, and his chair stays empty. Uneasy, I go to Queenie Stone's social media page. She is Victor's foster sister. She posts, "All I said was that I felt lonely, and he came right away. "Even when I accidentally spilled wine on him, he didn't mind. Victor is still someone who puts family first, even if it means neglecting his lover. "He never lets me down. I hope things stay that way." In the photo, Victor's shirt is soaked at the waist. Queenie's handkerchief lingers near his most private parts, but he doesn't pull away. He merely looks at her affectionately. I do not make a fuss and give Queenie's post a like. Then, I send Victor a message that reads, "Let's break up." Victor ignores it as always. Later, I discover that when my breakup message popped up, he had said offhandedly, "Vivienne can't live without me. She's just acting out. "If I ignore her for a few days, she'll come crawling back by herself. She's easy to please." What he doesn't know is that I was easy to handle only because I once loved him. But now that I have decided to leave, he cannot make me turn back, no matter how he tries to win me over.

My boyfriend, Jacob Torrance, claimed he hated being touched. Five years together, and all I got were stiff hand-holds and the rare side-hug. Even in bed, he kept his distance. I figured he was just emotionally shut off. Then he dropped this: he wanted a kid—with his mentor's daughter. "Take it as a sperm donation," he said. "Dr. Lynn asked me before he died. Wendy's got no one else." I smiled. "You don't have to explain. I support you." When you're over someone, there's no point fighting about what's right or wrong.