you re so old jokes one liners

All fae have a One--One person who strengthens their magic and enriches their life. A perfect mate. So why can't I find mine? What is a fae princess to do when she can’t find the prince she’s meant to spend the rest of her life with? I have to find him now, for the sake of my kingdom. Evil forces are moving in, and the only way I can come into my full power is to find my perfect mate. If I don't, the magical barrier that protects us will crumble because my magic won't be strong enough to hold it. But... I feel this strange pull to not on, but four different men! What in the world is going on? Can I be mated to all four of these men and still save my kingdom, or will what seems to be an asset turn out to be our undoing? The One is the first in a new reverse harem series by the author of Realm of the Chosen and Ember’s Flames.

Riccardo Salvatore Armani is a man with a great body and brilliant mind who can be compared to a Greek god but with the heart of Lucifer. Yes, with both devilish and lovable hearts. Everyone conquered his devilish heart and none conquered his lovable heart, or yet… With no parents, no helpers, no bodyguards, no friends, no past, and no girls around, he is living a robotic life with the only character of yelling at people and killing ruthlessly everyone who comes in his way. Ishita Kapoor is a girl with a goddess physique, an Angel heart, and a brilliant and stupid brain at the same time. Having everyone around her, she is living a best yet worst life because of society's pressure on her. Everyone who sees her from the outside will see her best life but only when those who get to see under her always-covered body, will come to know her true life. Having everything and everyone doesn’t help her in her state.But, when a simple dare locked these two people in 2000sq. feet for 24 hours, he thought that this was just a day and it wouldn’t change his life and she thought she successfully completed her dare with the mystic man but they both didn’t know that there was more on their way which would change their life completely. MAFIA'S NOT SO INNOCENT GIRL is created by Priya Amour, an eGlobal Creative Publishing signed author.

No feelings.No lies of calling the next day, and no empty promises of not banging anyone’s mother.If I could act like I’ve never met a set of twins I screwed on the same night, thinking they were the same person, then I could do this.It was the perfect set up for a fake relationship and it was simple.We faked our smiles, we faked our laughs; hell, we even faked our love. It wasn’t real.But that kiss was anything but fake, and the orgasm was anything but pretend.Somehow my plus one had become more, and now I’m standing here with my underwear around my ankles wondering what in the hell to do next.Plus One is created by M.N. Forgy, an eGlobal Creative Publishing Signed Author.

Evelyn Ithaca, a single mother, moves with her son back to her hometown in the hope of things getting better for them. She, being a powerful witch, has ‘supposedly' been saving her son's life as he seems to have a terrible sickness only her magic can keep at bay. Things got a little weird for Evelyn when she began to develop feelings for Damon, a young handsome werewolf whom she has eight years on. Their relationship starts up swiftly and is repeatedly interrupted by no one else but her ex, who happens to be the Principal at her son's school...and apparently more. Lucas, her son, manages to get himself into a relationship with Tilda and it is even weirder than his mother's own as the love triangle which he finds himself in happens to have his newly found buddy in it.

Party-goer si Karisma. Isang gabi nang may magtangkang masama sa kanya ay iniligtas siya ng isang lalaki na nandoon, si Tobias Ortega. Nang malaman ng kanyang ina ang nangyari ay inutusan siya nitong pilitin ang binata na pumayag para maging personal bodyguard niya, kung hindi ay hindi na siya papayagan pang dumalo sa mga parties. Ngunit ayaw ni Tobias, kaya’t nagpasya si Karisma na pilitin ito at ligawan. Mapapapayag niya kaya ito?

An accident made Snow Cecy the most hated person of her husband. She was imprisoned and gave birth to a child in prison. After she was released from prison, it was her husband's crazy revenge and betrayal that met her and her children. Snow Cecy thought that one day she could wait for the truth to come out, but she only waited for a paper of incurable medical treatment. On the day of diagnosis, Vicdor Blake held his sweetheart and said to her, "you'd better die now. Don't hinder me from marrying Leyi!" At this moment, Snow Cecy finally understood what it means to die like ashes. In the fire, Snow Cecy held her child and had nothing to miss in this world. And when all the truth is revealed,Vicdor is almost tortured into a madman by remorse holding the ashes of the two people. Three years later, a person suffering from a terminal illness has become a famous doctor that is hard to find. However, the president has tortured himself to the death. Snow Cecy nestled in another man's arms and looked at Vicdor coldly. Even if you die now, it has nothing to do with me.

Business tycoon Kieran Kingsley swears that he will never marry. That is, until one day, a young wife is forced upon him. From that day on, Mr. Kingsley's life takes on a new chapter!"Mr. Kieran, Ms. Valerie just wrecked the Chesters' home.""Is she happy yet?""No …""Get a few more of our men to help her out.""Mr. Kieran, Ms. Valerie got into a fight with someone. The other party has just been admitted into the hospital.""Is she happy yet?""No …"Kieran carries on with his work. "Let her continue."One day, Kieran finds out that Valerie Wood got herself into a fight again. "Valerie Wood, do you need me to teach you a lesson?""Honey, you were never like this before," Valerie whines.Kieran points at her tummy. "Were you pregnant before?"At seven months pregnant, Valerie still gets herself into a fight? She succeeds in scaring the other party off and gets Kieran so scared that he nearly loses his mind. But she is elated that she won without doing anything!

Krystal Hugace is perfectly fine with her life. As her colleagues starts to get married and have their own families, she enjoys her free life being the successful designer that she is. Life is good. That is until she meets Christian Giannini –the CEO of the prominent and best steel exporter company of Ground Zeta– marching up to her office demanding for her to create the best pair of suit and wedding dress for his and his pregnant fiance's wedding. Krystal is not ready for this kind of commitment.

Mahira married a man who never loved her. Her husband always treated Mahira harshly. One night, Mahira thought that her husband had changed. He fucked her gently; never in Mahira's life had she needed anything as special as that night. But who would have thought that it was not Mahira's husband, another man who was drunk had defiled Mahira. The man was none other than Mahira's best friend, now Mahira's brother-in-law. How will Mahira live her life? And can Mahira get away from her husband who never treated Mahira well?

For 14 years after graduating from school Lynd disappeared and her whereabouts were unknown, the reason behind it all remained a mystery. Joan accidentally reunites with Lynd, who is his first love. 10 years ago he told Lynd he was getting married and proposed to a girl who became his girlfriend when they were still college students. Joan expressed his hidden feelings that Joan's dream type has always been Lynd and wants to get a wife like her if possible. That statement is always stored in Lynd's heart until when they meet again it makes her heart waver when Joan invites her to have a secret relationship with him behind his pregnant wife. Even Joan is determined to leave his current wife. Even though she is still pregnant if Lynd is willing to accept his love.