you re so old jokes one liners

Haunted by his own actions that led to a tragic accident claiming his best friend's life, Prince Maximillian embraces a reckless lifestyle, burdened by remorse, and is compelled to return home. Frustrated by his parents' concerns, he writes a farewell letter, intending to live as a commoner. However, his self-destructive plans change unexpectedly when he meets Edwina, or Eddie, a woman defying societal norms by dressing and behaving like a man. Enchanted by her confidence and wit, he falls in love. His attempts to win her over are thwarted by her devoted friend who desires her for himself, a persistent princess, and Edwina's determination to maintain her unique identity as her father's "son."

Can you imagine,being pregnant when, you and your boyfriend didn't do it? What do you think is called? S*x and run? Yeah right... She want to end her self, die and never face the world again, kill her child, had a one-night f'ck with the CEO. SHE'S MARIA CLARA ORDONIEZ,SALAZAR. Clara, a wonderful woman, brave and beautiful, she's one of the angels in fantasy club, her home and h'll. Pwede bang maging sanhi ng pag babago ng buhay niya ang isang gabi na hindi naman niya ginusto. Isa siya sa mga, sabihin na lang natin sa napaka misteryosong dalaga sa mundo, hindi alam ang tunay na katauhan, walang nakakalam, she hide her self, perfectly.

"Please stop…" "You started this, but I will end it." He nipped at her skin briskly before suckling it gently. She gasped in pleasure, arching her back to him. "Are you sure you want me to stop? Your body seems to speak otherwise, Zora" he pointed out as he smirked against her skin. *** Zora Walter always dreamt of being a model. Being popular, showing on TV, and having the paparazzi following her always sent a thrill through her, but it occurred in a way she wouldn't have imagined. After getting dumped by her boyfriend, Zora wanted to prove that she had moved on when in fact, she hadn't. And so kissed a stranger. That action turned disastrous as Zora Walter's once peaceful life was upturned in seconds. What happens when she should and "must" in the stranger's opinion fix what she caused? And fixing it meant faking being his girlfriend... His arrogance was on another level and Zora cursed herself for getting tangled with him.

It is a one night mistake, a mistake that she will never regret. Nagbunga ang isang gabing pagkakamali na nagawa ni Mikaya kasama ang estrangherong nakilala niya sa bar. Nang matuklasan niyang siya'y buntis ay agad siyang nakipaghiwalay sa kanyang kasintahan at piniling umuwi ng probinsya dahil na rin sa kagustuhan ng kanyang mga magulang. Naging masaya ang buhay niya kasama ng kanyang anak. Ngunit sadyang mapaglaro ang tadhana, dahil walang sikretong hindi nabubunyag. Nalaman ng kanyang dating kasintahan na mayroon siyang anak at handa nitong panagutan ang bata sa pag-aakalang siya ang ama nito. Handa na ba siyang sabihin ang katotohanan? O hayayaan niyang kilalanin ng kanyang anak ang taong hanggang ngayon ay mahal pa rin niya. But love cannot make two person stays with secrets and lies. Would a woman like her ready to reveal the whole truth?

Riley was always considered a normal girl, until one night she gets kidnapped. What happens when she falls in love with the man who took her from everything?

Yza Chrizelle Ardiente ang nag-iisang anak ng isang kilala at respetadong businessman. Tanging tagapagmana ng “ Cuisine Na’Ton” an authentic Ilonggo restaurant na itinayo pa ng kanyang Great Grandfather. Pinalago, pinayaman at kinilala ng buong bansa sa sunud-sunod na henerasyon. Until it's legacy now, run by his father and still continues it's fame not only in Iloilo but worldwide. Lumaki siya na hindi nawawala ang paghanga at pagtingin para kay Kem Hallison Cordova na anak ng bestfriend ng kanyang mommy. Pero sa huli ay nakuha rin nito ang inaasam na atensyon ng lalaki hanggang sa napagtagumpayan niyang makuha lalo ang loob tsaka pagmamahal na hinahangad at inilihim niya sa matagal na panahon. Ibinuhos niya ang lahat ng kanyang pagmamahal at atensyon para kay Kem pero sa huli, isang laro lamang ang lahat dahil si Mocha Louise pala ang pakakasalan nito. Labis siyang nasaktan, pakiramdam niya ilang ulit tinapak tapakan ang kanyang pagkababae kaya bumangon siyang muli to take revenge. Naging mapaglaro sa lahat ng mga lalaking nanliligaw sa kanya. Dahil d'yan tinagurian siyang “Relation Sucker, Bitch, Destroyer etc.” She became wild, bold and famous playgirl in town but never been touch by anyone. She had this pretty face kaya di nya kailangan pahirapan ang sarili para lumandi sa kanila. Naging mapaglaro sa pag-ibig, at hindi pinag-isipan ang maging resulta nito sa huli. Pero wala ng panahon para umatras pa because she’s expecting a return. She didn’t fail though, she felt that he's still in love with her, the way she was loved and cared for before, by her beloved Kem. Not that before someone ruined their relationship. Are they still the one who meant for each other? Kahit pa naging komplikado man ang kanilang sitwasyon ngayon. But Yza Chrizelle once said. “She’ll get what she wants by hook or by crook.”

We already know life is unfair to most of us, but we still preserve, for our uncertain future. A story of a man who gave up on life because of a mistake he thought was the right decision and solely immersing himself through games to escape in life. 3 years passed in the blink of an eye. Jc, slowly finding out the meaning of fun in life. When he met the game called 'Glory Legends'. Then one day, he got scouted by a powerhouse club to be a professional player hoping that this will be the chance to get back on track in life again, Or so he thought until he met again, the source of his hopelessness. Follow the tale, as they pave their way through life, love, and glory together.

A female who knows nothing about her true nature. A ruthless, feared, and wounded tribrid Alpha male. Jasmine lives a life any poor normal human would, up until she meets Noah, the Tribrid Alpha who at the first meeting turns her entire life around. He holds her captive with all means at his disposal, his power, dominance, and erotic appeal. He steals her from her planned-out life and she is a willing captive entranced by his ability to make her inhibitions disappear. With his unwavering support, she faces horrifying, appealing, and vicious situations whilst meeting friendly, and powerful people. She finds her inner essence, births her hidden god form, and becomes the key to the unsealing of an entire world. But with great power comes great responsibility, will she be able to overcome the ever-rising conflict, battle her mate's past, and live up to the potential of being the Luna she was predestined to be?

Twisting her hands backward, he took her till the walls. "You did'nt leave till now?" That man questions her as he leaned to her face. "Mmm...... Mmmmm....... Please leave my hand...... Leave it..." "I won't listen to you once today. I gave you once chance." He said coming close to her in a low and bossy tone. Anna smelled the strong smell of wine. It was obvious that he was more drunk than Anna. She could strongly feel his warm breaths across her face. Her start started to beat more faster than before. "But see.... You came back to me.... Now even if you want to leave me, I won't let you leave me." Anna tried hard to leave from his grip but he pulled her towards him. He kept his lips on her lips. By this sudden kiss Anna's eyes widened. She did'nt expect something like this. That man started to kiss her wildly. She started to suffocate by his wild kiss. She tried to free herself from him but was unsuccessful. He stopped for a moment and then took her face in between his hands. Both were standing too close to each other, so close that they could hear each others heartbeat but due to the darkness in the room both were unable to see each other. "You wanted this, right? You wanted me to love you endlessly" "Yes..... Yes.... I.....wanted.... to..... but....." She was trembling as she spoke.

On the verge of death, a famous singer miraculously found herself in an ancient world named kingdom of the great Wohsland. She found out she was the oldest daughter of a noble family while she was still trying to understand her new profound world, she was thrown into the hands of the Third prince