You Re So Old Jokes One Liners

“I’m confused,” Jane said. “Actually I’m very confused.” Tristan gave her a bored look, “About what?” “What just happened upstairs? Did you forget that you just told your mother- I mean Your Highness that we are dating? Because the last time I checked, we spent one night together?! Are you crazy?” “It’s really not that complicated,” Tristan turned towards her, a determined look in his eyes. “We will date for a while. I mean fake date for a while so that my mother and the media can get off our back. No big deal. It’s not like you have a boyfriend or anything. Why are you worried?” Jane wanted to kill him and wipe that lazy smirk off his face. But he was royalty, and she would pretty much be hung for that. It was not worth it. *** Jane Rosetti is an exchange medical student in Walsh, new to almost everything. To pay off her student loans, she’s working as a bartender in a high-end club “Floral Liquor”, where she meets Tristan. At first, she’s incredibly taken by his good looks and thick accent. She has no idea about his real identity, which doesn’t matter as they end up in bed together. Prince Tristan of Walsh has finally returned to his hometown after two years. As he’s been very secretive, everyone wants exclusive about him. So when he’s exiting Jane’s apartment, he’s captured with her panties stuck on to his sleeve. Both of them are photographer together, and that’s when Jane’s troubles start. Right after her one night with the Prince. ***

Days before Christmas, my girlfriend, Tessa Coleman, decides to take her assistant to the beach for the holiday. I don't argue or make a scene. I even help her pack her bags. But she sneers at me, mocking me for finally learning how to be sensible now that my legs are useless. As soon as she leaves, I reach out to her sworn enemy. In my last life, when I tried to stop her with my crippled legs, her assistant ended up brutally murdered at the beach. Tessa had acted like nothing had happened, but once I recovered, she hacked off my legs and killed me mercilessly. That was when I finally realized that she had hated me all along. This time around, I'll make sure she loses everything.

She is meant to forget the past, but she received a new job from her past fiancee a hundred years ago. Not knowing the real, she accepted the job. Your ex-fiancee asked you to kill his brother. But what if you met your hybrid mate and he was your fiance’s brother? Grab your popcorn! Read more about Lucy, Leon, and Cedric’s love triangle.

Love. Betrayal. Redemption.What would you do when the one you love the most is the one that hurt you the most?Loving him was all she knew. Meredith Leighton had loved Josiah Shelby for as long as she could remember, and she was willing to risk everything for him…no matter the circumstances. But it was not enough for him. After being framed for scheming a horrible act, Josiah chose to divorce her and had sworn to hunt her down and kill her baby that was allegedly his. After three years, the truth finally came to light. Now, Josiah regretted his past decisions and decided to make it up to her, promising to be a good father and a good husband.But would Meredith be able to forgive and forget? Would she be able to take him back into her life and pretend as if nothing had happened between them? 

Kelly Brook thought her secret marriage to Anderson Grant would shield her from her previous scandal, but everything crumbled when she discovered Anderson’s betrayal—a hidden affair with her estranged twin sister, Kate. Forced to announce her own divorce, Kelly struggles to hold her composure as she faces public judgment and private heartbreak. With her resources tied to Anderson’s career and overshadowed by her sister. Kelly must decide whether to fight for redemption or let her past destroy her future.

WARNING: MATURE CONTENT For Jade Hart, there are no black or white when it comes to saving the life of her high school sweetheart. She goes as far as selling her body for his sake but what happens when it all blows up in her face? A night with the infamous Max Anderson is all it takes for Jade's life to spiral out of control. Betrayal, Passion, Lust, Love; how will Jade and Max deal with these emotions and desires, especially when they have three little angels between them?

Henry has lived his life in the shadow of exile, struggling alongside his mother after being cast out of their pack. College offers him a chance at freedom, but also brings him closer to three powerful men whose love could change everything: Adrian, the kind school principal who sheltered him; Elias, the newly restored Alpha who promises him honor and belonging; and Damien Dowell, the billionaire CEO who offers passion and power. Torn between safety, destiny, and ambition, Henry must decide where his true heart lies. But which path will he choose? Which love will define his future?

Warning: 18+ only. Featuring hardcore taboo and age-gap erotica. This is an erotic boxset containing yet another twelve stories of irresistible steam, steam, fun, and naughty stories. If you're not up to eighteen, this book is not for you. Get ready to be intrigued. To feel. To...burn. --------- "You think I'm a softie?" My voice is deceptively gentle when the rest of me is so hard. "Do you know why I pulled over?" "Why?" she says, seeming to hold her breath. "I pulled over because I know tight pussy when I see it." I frame her jaw with my right hand, tilting her blushing face up toward mine. "I'd like to fuck you on all fours, right here in the middle of the road, little girl. Rough as you can stand. Still think I'm a softie?" "No," she gasps, the green of her eyes deepening to a forest shade. "I don't." "Good."

Kylie Leowfin is a beautiful, intelligent, and special model from Europe. She is living a happy life until she returns to the Philippines for the wedding of her cousin. During her stay there, she meets Thurstin Piers, a guy she does not want to see again. She dislikes Thurstin\'s that so much. However, fate and chance conspired together. Their paths cross again, and Thurstin and Kelly are stuck in the same place. After a while, Kylie realized that Thurstin\'s had a kind heart. But the pressure Kylie feels from the two of them being stuck in the same place that might make Kylie develop feelings for him. By keeping her distance and distracting herself, Kylie tried not to be disturbed by him. Do they have any chance of falling in love with each other? Read on to find out.

My brother and I get into a car accident. My heart is ruptured—I need emergency surgery. But my mother, the hospital director, calls every available doctor… to my brother's room. He only has a few scrapes, yet she orders a full-body scan for him while I lie there bleeding out. I beg her to help me, but she snaps, visibly annoyed, "Can't you stop fighting for attention for once? Your brother almost injured a bone!" In the end, I die on the operating table. But after the news of my death breaks, my mother, who has always hated me, completely loses her mind.