You Re So Old Jokes One Liners

On the day of my wedding with my girlfriend, I was unexpectedly informed by the hotel that our ceremony had to be postponed by a couple of hours. With no time to notify relatives and friends of the change, I had to rush to the hotel entrance to intercept guests. Upon arriving, I was stopped at the door by security, who told me that a wedding was currently taking place inside. The host's voice could be heard as I saw my girlfriend, wearing a veil, smiling and extending her hand to a man who was half-kneeling. In the audience, all the bride's relatives who were supposed to attend our wedding were seated, clapping and cheering. The man on stage was her dream guy and also my current superior. Seeing me causing a commotion, my girlfriend warned me, "I'm just helping out. Alex is your superior. I'm also doing this to help you. Don't cause any trouble." Just helping out? I had booked the wedding venue, chosen the time, designed the wedding dress, and personally sent out the invitations. How could a wedding be rearranged so suddenly? I looked coldly at the ring box the man was holding. "It seems my taste is quite similar to my yours. If that's the case, this diamond ring is yours, including the wife." My girlfriend finally panicked.

ชีวิตของฉันเรียบร้อยจนเกินไป... จนวันหนึ่ง "พายุ" พัดเข้ามา ลินลี่ หญิงสาววัยยี่สิบสี่ ผู้ไม่เคยมีแฟน ไม่เคยรู้จักคำว่า ‘รัก’ แต่คืนเดียวกับชายแปลกหน้า กลับเปลี่ยนทุกอย่าง เขาคือ "พายุ" ผู้ชายที่ร้อนแรง อันตราย และยากจะลืม แต่เมื่อความจริงเปิดเผย เขาคือเพลย์บอยตัวพ่อ ลูกนักธุรกิจพันล้าน และที่เจ็บที่สุด—เขาจำเธอไม่ได้เลย ระหว่างความรู้สึกที่หยุดไม่ได้ กับความจริงที่เจ็บปวด เธอจะกล้า “เสี่ยง” กับรักครั้งนี้... หรือควร “ถอย” ก่อนที่หัวใจจะพัง?

Savannah was an adorable college student. To revenge her ex-boyfriend, Savannah was boldly intended to kiss a "handsome enough" man and take a video to piss her ex off. However, she chose Callan, the most eligible bachelor in the world. Out of Savannah's prediction, she was teased that she had no idea what a real kiss was. Then the man even taught her in person. In a great panic, Savannah ran away. Savannah left a deep impression on Callan. However, he never thought he would meet Savannah so soon, especially, at the... male toilet!

Fake it 'til you make it has been the motto I live by since my mother died. I'm also doing a really bad job at the making it part. The night we met, I was at my lowest. But you gave me a reason to feel happy again. For the first time in over a year, I was optimistic. You and I? We're the same. Don't form attachments. Follow the rules. Don't dream of a future. Too bad our hearts wouldn't listen. And this storm we're going through? The one that threatens to rip us apart? It doesn't care that I'm falling for you. Falling for You is created by Jennifer Van Wyk, an eGlobal Creative Publishing author.

An unsual story of a doctor and a mafia boss who meet each other by accident one night. Was it an accident or was it their fate that brought them together? What are the odds of them falling in love? But love happens when you least expect it. A story of love,loss and hope. Hope that maybe one day two people with completely different worlds would fall in love and fill the void in each others life.

“I said where did he touch you?” Aaron walk towards with his dangerous aura as sniffs in anger scanning my body with his eyes like he was trying to find some hickeys and marks of touches on me. “You are mine, mine and nobody touches what belong to me. Bring that bastard in”Aaron said for me to start tearing up as I felt stupid for running away.

Love, Happy Endings, Soulmates, these are the things we want and need in life, we want to get them, but it's easier said than done. Certain factors need to be considered. Relationships and Love need few unmaterialistic things, but sadly, Caden Ian Manchester and Fiona Guinevere Kings do not know these. Weighed with traumas and scars, they hid their true self from each other, but the past never stays hidden, and it gets revealed in the worst way possible. Fiona Kings looks like a real life Barbie, but she sure as hell doesn't live in a fairytale, if it's a fairytale, it's a twisted one, a very twisted fairytale. Her life has being chaotic, from a family that don't care about her, to an abusive and psychotic boyfriend. She met him, Caden Manchester, it seem like she's drawn to the bad boys, Aren't we all?. Caden Manchester is a walking trauma, a breathing disaster, a living catastrophe, an addictive poison. She knows she should run, everyone tells her to run, but once Love gets into the equation, leaving seems unlikely. Caden Manchester is an orphan, a drug addict, a result of a broken home. An Artist who has definitely lost his muse. He meets her, Fiona Kings. She seems like his saving grace, his last and final shot at redemption, all he has to do is let her get tangled in his web of pain, death and painful secrets. He's no good for her, he's aware of this,  She's too angelic, but like a moth drawn to flame, he's drawn to her, to light. She's his Vanilla, His butterfly whose wings he breaks, rendering her broken. He breaks her, shatters her, destroys her, but she didn't leave. He tries to push her away, but, she stuck with him.

"Beg for it. Beg me to fuck you, to ruin your tight little cunt." Summer has lived her life on the edge, selling fragments of herself just to survive in a world ruled by power and greed. She’s been used, discarded, forgotten… until Alexander De Rossi, the ruthless Mafia king, takes her for one night. To him, she was supposed to be another nameless woman, a fleeting escape from his darkness. But when dawn came, he couldn’t forget her touch, her fear, her fire. Obsession consumed him. In a world where mercy doesn’t exist, Summer becomes more than his desire, she becomes his weakness, his addiction, and the one thing he’d burn his empire for.

A simple omega who tries to finish her studies as quickly as possible to get away from the family and the town that hates her, she is only waiting for her 18th birthday and her transformation. Without expecting that that day would be the worst of her life, she would never meet her wolf but her rejection of hers was destined for her, bringing her to the brink of death but she is not even easy to defeat. "I Andrews Wen, Alpha leader of the Silver pack, reject Anastasia Jason as my destined and moon of the pack." My head spun and my chest hurt, my blurred vision only helped me see when Anastasia cut her omega glands, turning into a simple and vulgar human

Acquaintance Party and some students already at the center of the hall. Dahan-dahang tumingin si Leighton Wajeeh sa kanan niya kung nasaan ang isang babae. "Eun-ji... M-May I d-dance with you?" he stuttered. With a sweetest smile he's ever seen, the girl answered, "Sure, Waj!" Right after she accepted his hand, they then walked towards the center of the hall. "Alright, on my cue, wear your masquerade mask!" the host suddenly announced nung nakita niyang marami nang nasa gitna. Matapos nilang hinanda ang mask, the host then muttered, "Mask on! Music, maestro!" Romantic song then played as they wore their masks. Slowly, Leighton Wajeeh puts his hands on Nikolina Eun-ji's waist while she put hers on his shoulders. "E-Eun-ji, I..." sabi ni Leighton habang unti-unting tumingin sa labi ng babae. Leighton's heart pounded fast. He is wanting this moment to come. Eun-ji just stared at him. With that, he stared at her eyes... deeply. "I like y---" Ngunit, hindi niya natuloy ang kaniyang mga salita. Leighton's mouth gaped open and his eyes suddenly widened. Napaatras siya dahilan upang mapatigil sila sa pagsasayaw. This can't be... "Waj, what's wrong?" Eun-ji innocently asked. She tried to reach him ngunit umiwas si Leighton sa kaniya. His hands and lips trembled while still looking at the woman's face covered with mask, highlighting her eyes. Those eyes... Those eyes that brought him trauma for how many years... Similar to the eyes who killed his father!